Disenchanted, Sprite Brigade #3 Quotes

“There were first editions of Lang’s Red, Blue and Green Fairy Books, an incredibly old binding of the works of the Brothers Grimm and a nice imprint of WB Yeats’ Irish Fairy and Folk Tales among others.”
― Heide Goody, Disenchanted, Sprite Brigade #3

“The owner of this house is a psychotic loony. My mate, the wolf, has just eaten his favourite sheep. Said psychotic loony has gone out with a small army to kill the wolf, not that he’ll be stupid enough to stay within ten miles of this place, and when the psycho returns, I’m either going to have to marry him or find myself dead, dismembered and stuffed in his forbidden closet. I am leaving before they get back.”
― Heide Goody, Disenchanted, Sprite Brigade #3

“It’s so forbidden that the way there is practically lit up with neon signs. Maybe it is filled with the dismembered corpses of Mr Dainty’s previous wives.”
― Heide Goody, Disenchanted, Sprite Brigade #3

“following that truest of British traditions, of trying to mend bridges and fix family crises with tea.”
― Heide Goody, Disenchanted, Sprite Brigade #3

“Help for Heroes’ sounded better than ‘hired henchmen’.”
― Heide Goody, Disenchanted, Sprite Brigade #3

“I’m supposed to get my tits out for Mr Dainty, huh?”
― Heide Goody, Disenchanted, Sprite Brigade #3

“Pubes normal,” she breathed with relief. “Probably not a fairy tale thing to have a handsome suitor climbing up your minge.”
― Heide Goody, Disenchanted, Sprite Brigade #3

“model village meant there’d be a car park full of practical estate cars and a café/gift shop where one could buy overpriced scones and bafflingly pointless fridge magnets.”
― Heide Goody, Disenchanted, Sprite Brigade #3

“What? You think we didn’t have sex in them days? We didn’t have televisions then and didn’t have none of tha YouTube or t’internet. We had to make our own entertainment.”
― Heide Goody, Disenchanted, Sprite Brigade #3

“In the proper old days, I’d swallow the sun and usher in an age of darkness but none of us are as young as we used to be.”
― Heide Goody, Disenchanted, Sprite Brigade #3

“So quick to get a hairy beast between her thighs,” noted Inappropriate.”
― Heide Goody, Disenchanted, Sprite Brigade #3

“Inappropriate stepped back, still holding the wolf’s mouth open, and Windy let loose with a powerful, flappy fart. The wolf recoiled, retching.”
― Heide Goody, Disenchanted, Sprite Brigade #3

“Gonna open a can of Jackie Chan on you,”
― Heide Goody, Disenchanted, Sprite Brigade #3

“Ella was sure wolves didn’t possess the muscles for smiling but he smiled nonetheless, a roguish lopsided smile.”
― Heide Goody, Disenchanted, Sprite Brigade #3

“Whinging little shite,” said Psycho and then addressed Ella.”
― Heide Goody, Disenchanted, Sprite Brigade #3

“Whatever. Find a way of communicating that doesn’t involve gas. Farts are not punctuation.”
― Heide Goody, Disenchanted, Sprite Brigade #3

“I think life is like a plate of little snacks. It’s not exactly fulfilling but what can you do but grab what you can and don’t complain when someone comes to take it away from you?”
― Heide Goody, Disenchanted, Sprite Brigade #3

“He had a faint accent, not quite Eurovision, not quite Bond villain.”
― Heide Goody, Disenchanted, Sprite Brigade #3

“One licence plate: Louisiana, Sportsman’s Paradise.”
― Heide Goody, Disenchanted, Sprite Brigade #3

“Women like that. Chores are their heroin.”
― Heide Goody, Disenchanted, Sprite Brigade #3

“Myra was less a helicopter parent than a helicopter gunship parent.”
― Heide Goody, Disenchanted, Sprite Brigade #3

“because Granny used a secret ingredient in all her cooking and that secret ingredient was lard.”
― Heide Goody, Disenchanted, Sprite Brigade #3