The Haunted Forest Tour Quotes

“Oh, no, you are not going all boa constrictor on me!" he told it,”
― Jeff Strand, The Haunted Forest Tour

“Nobody said anything about giant severed heads!" Christopher shouted. "The commercials promised weird, scary stuff, but there was nothing about giant severed heads lying in the middle of the tracks! This is bullshit!”
― James A. Moore, The Haunted Forest Tour

“The sound of the doors locking into place sounded a hell of a lot like the sound of a heavy casket lid dropping closed.”
― James A. Moore, The Haunted Forest Tour

“You amuse me. You who spent your life waiting for miracles and instead found us." "With all due respect, you can shove your amusement where the sun don't shine, mister." If he ever did write a book about his adventures in the forest, he'd give himself a better response. It wasn't like Mindy, Barbara, Tina, or Tommy could hear him. "And that is why you amuse me, Lee Burgundy. You are decrepit, your heart is weak, and your body is frail, and yet you stand here ready to fight me to protect the others. Why?" "It's the right thing to do." "There is no right or wrong, old man. There is only what brings us pleasure.”
― Jeff Strand, The Haunted Forest Tour