The Unofficial Joke Book for Fans of Harry Potter Quotes

“Q.  What do Harry Potter and Charlie Brown have in common? A.  They’re both in love with the little girl with red hair.”
― Brian Boone, The Unofficial Joke Book for Fans of Harry Potter: Vol 1.

“Q.  What do you call a Hufflepuff who always has a big bag of stuff with them? A. Dufflepuff.”
― Brian Boone, The Unofficial Joke Book for Fans of Harry Potter: Vol 1.

“Q. Where do Hermione’s parents live? A. Back home on the Grange!”
― Brian Boone, The Unofficial Joke Book for Fans of Harry Potter: Vol 1.

“Q. What are Snape’s favorite flowers? A. Lilies.”
― Brian Boone, The Unofficial Joke Book for Fans of Harry Potter: Vol 1.

“Q.  What’s the difference between Gilderoy Lockhart and Ron’s dad? A.  One is an author and”
― Brian Boone, The Unofficial Joke Book for Fans of Harry Potter: Vol 1.

“What Does the Fawkes Say?”
― Brian Boone, The Unofficial Joke Book for Fans of Harry Potter: Vol 1.

“Wizard Bands Phoenix The Mad-Eyed Moody Blues Imagine Dragons”
― Brian Boone, The Unofficial Joke Book for Fans of Harry Potter: Vol 1.

“Q.  What kind of car does the Dark Lord drive? A. A Vold-vo.”
― Brian Boone, The Unofficial Joke Book for Fans of Harry Potter: Vol 1.

“Q.  If a group of fish is called a school, what’s a group of owls called? A. Spam from Hogwarts.”
― Brian Boone, The Unofficial Joke Book for Fans of Harry Potter: Vol 1.

“Q.  What does the Potions teacher drink? A. Snapele.”
― Brian Boone, The Unofficial Joke Book for Fans of Harry Potter: Vol 1.

“Q.  What did Draco tell his father? A. Everything!”
― Brian Boone, The Unofficial Joke Book for Fans of Harry Potter: Vol 1.

“Q.  Where does Hermione learn everything she knows? A. Witchipedia. • Q.  Why didn’t the professors like having twins Padma and Parvati Patil at Hogwarts? A.  They never knew which witch was which.”
― Brian Boone, The Unofficial Joke Book for Fans of Harry Potter: Vol 1.

“Why did the Slytherin get a job at the post office? A.  They liked that he could speak parseltongue.”
― Brian Boone, The Unofficial Joke Book for Fans of Harry Potter: Vol 1.

“Q.  What do wizards put on their ice cream? A. Magic Shell.”
― Brian Boone, The Unofficial Joke Book for Fans of Harry Potter: Vol 1.

“Q.  Why did Neville never have a problem finding a place to sit? A. Because of his Longbottom.”
― Brian Boone, The Unofficial Joke Book for Fans of Harry Potter: Vol 1.

“Q.  Why did Crabbe and Goyle cross the road? A. Because Draco told them to. • Q.  Why do Slytherins cross the road twice? A. Because they are double-crossers.”
― Brian Boone, The Unofficial Joke Book for Fans of Harry Potter: Vol 1.

“Q.  Did you hear about the Hogwarts student from outer space? A. He was a flying sorcerer. • Q.  What do you call a Hufflepuff who works in a casino? A. A Shufflepuff. • Q.  What do you call a Hufflepuff who makes fancy chocolate? A. A Trufflepuff. • Q.  What do you call a Hufflepuff who makes dresses? A. A Rufflepuff. • Q.  What do you call a Hufflepuff who works in a mechanic’s shop? A. A Mufflerpuff. • Q.  What do you call a Hufflepuff who gets into fights? A. A Scufflepuff. • Q.  What do you call a Hufflepuff who always has a big bag of stuff with them? A. Dufflepuff.”
― Brian Boone, The Unofficial Joke Book for Fans of Harry Potter: Vol 1.

“Q.  How do the Malfoys enter a building? A. They Slytherin.”
― Brian Boone, The Unofficial Joke Book for Fans of Harry Potter: Vol 1.

“.  You Know You’re a Potterhead If …”
― Brian Boone, The Unofficial Joke Book for Fans of Harry Potter: Vol 1.

“Any fools in the room, please stand up,” Professor Snape said sarcastically. After some silence, a first year stood up. “So, then you consider yourself a fool, do you?” asked Professor Snape. “Not really,” said the student, “but I didn’t want to see you standing up there all by yourself.”
― Brian Boone, The Unofficial Joke Book for Fans of Harry Potter: Vol 1.

“Q.  Why were they called Dumbledore’s Army? A.  Because they didn’t have the boats to be Dumbledore’s Navy.”
― Brian Boone, The Unofficial Joke Book for Fans of Harry Potter: Vol 1.

“have”
― Brian Boone, The Unofficial Joke Book for Fans of Harry Potter: Vol 1.