Class Mom Quotes

“But even the best lives need a vacation and, let’s face it, renting a house with your family at a ski resort is not a vacation. It’s basically moving your life from one location to another. Unless someone else is making the beds, doing the laundry, and cooking, it’s just the same old life with the added inconvenience of not knowing where anything is in the kitchen.”
― Laurie Gelman, Class Mom

“sigh as I take a sip of cooking wine, so named because it’s the wine I drink while I’m cooking.”
― Laurie Gelman, Class Mom

“It was a wedding gift from Ron’s ex. She sent us a gravy boat shaped like a turkey, where the neck is the handle and the gravy comes out the ass. I insist on using it at least twice a year. He shakes his head.”
― Laurie Gelman, Class Mom

“I think about how I look just a little less attractive every day. I think that when I’m sixty, Max will just be finishing high school. I wonder if I should have had a career instead of a bunch of jobs. I wonder why you love me and when you might stop. I worry that I’m not a good enough wife, daughter, mother, and friend. And I worry that if this is it, this is my whole life, will it be enough?”
― Laurie Gelman, Class Mom

“The boys nod and smile. Proof once again that chocolate solves just about all of life’s problems.”
― Laurie Gelman, Class Mom

“Have I mentioned that I love my car? It is a totally tricked-out Honda Odyssey minivan, and let me tell you, I feel like the king of the road in it.”
― Laurie Gelman, Class Mom

“Thanksgiving is one of those idiot-proof meals. Just make sure the turkey isn’t overdone, and you’re halfway there.”
― Laurie Gelman, Class Mom

“I roll my eyes at her. These are the mom moments that I love and dread all at the same time. I want to say the right thing, give her the right advice, but I’m not a hundred percent sure what that right advice is.”
― Laurie Gelman, Class Mom

“Jen, you need to shut this shit down immediately!”
― Laurie Gelman, Class Mom

“What else would you call it?” I ask him. It was a wedding gift from Ron’s ex. She sent us a gravy boat shaped like a turkey, where the neck is the handle and the gravy comes out the ass. I insist on using it at least twice a year.”
― Laurie Gelman, Class Mom

“Don’t for one minute think I don’t absolutely adore my life as a wife and mom. But even the best lives need a vacation and, let’s face it, renting a house with your family at a ski resort is not a vacation. It’s basically moving your life from one location to another. Unless someone else is making the beds, doing the laundry, and cooking, it’s just the same old life with the added inconvenience of not knowing where anything is in the kitchen.”
― Laurie Gelman, Class Mom

“Why, oh why, is it always the mother with the most allergic kid who is, herself, a nut? I mean, I get it, allergies are serious. Life-threatening, even. They're nothing to joke about. But when did this all happen? When did peanut butter become the grade-school equivalent of anthrax?”
― Laurie Gelman, Class Mom

“To quote the poet Steve Perry of Journey, “They say that the road ain’t no place to start a family.”
― Laurie Gelman, Class Mom

“hanging”
― Laurie Gelman, Class Mom

“Being president of the PTA is not a job for sissies. It’s a full-time, relentless piece of crap that very few people would want to inflict upon themselves. But year after year Nina manages to squeeze it into what I know is a full schedule running her graphic design business.”
― Laurie Gelman, Class Mom

“You can imagine how thrilled I am to be touring the Elbow Chocolate factory on this fine April morning. Oh, I got my three volunteers from the email I sent out, so I figured I was home free. That is, until Trudy Elder called me this morning to back out … something about Zach having Coxsackie. Oh, isn’t that convenient. Hey, lady, some of us just suck it up and honor our commitments”
― Laurie Gelman, Class Mom