Grace Based Discipline Quotes

“Our kids will know that grace works as they see it work in us. They will trust that the gospel transforms if they watch it transform us.”
― Karis Kimmel Murray, Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst

“our homes are laboratories for the gospel. How we parent, and how we discipline, will be evidence that will either support or disprove whether the gospel is the good news we all claim.”
― Karis Kimmel Murray, Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst

“As parents, choosing and applying consequences carefully and consistently is one of the most loving things we can do because it protects our kids from far worse consequences later.”
― Karis Kimmel Murray, Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst

“our kids do sinful stuff because they’re sinners. There’s nothing we can do about this. Sin is not something we can protect our kids from.”
― Karis Kimmel Murray, Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst

“Vulnerability is our kids showing us the things about themselves that they hate the most, that they wish they could change but can’t, to test if we’ll be repulsed or accepting.”
― Karis Kimmel Murray, Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst

“Parents are the primary reflection our kids see of God’s heart and His grace.”
― Karis Kimmel Murray, Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst

“The point of discipline is not retaliation, but to act in our kids’ best interests. Discipline, when done right, is for our kids’ ultimate good.”
― Karis Kimmel Murray, Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst

“Grace is God’s unmerited favor. God offers us His favor not because of what we deserve or because of who we are, but because of who He is.”
― Karis Kimmel Murray, Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst

“It’s tough to respond rather than react when you feel like, and sometimes are, the victim of your kids’ behavior. Yet God (the Ultimate Parent) tells us how He responds to His children’s behavior: with grace-based discipline. And He also tells us why: “The Lord disciplines the one he loves” (Hebrews 12:6).”
― Karis Kimmel Murray, Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst

“Through this lens, they could see that our Father did not base His relationship with His kids on behavior modification, fear, or retaliation. Our holy heavenly Father’s loving relationship with His sinful children is based on only one thing: His decision to extend grace, undeserved favor, in order to have a relationship with us.”
― Karis Kimmel Murray, Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst

“A lack of character is a heart issue that can be invisible at times, so it’s easy to forget to be mindful, especially when we are focused on more outward behaviors. Yet building character into our kids’ hearts is one of the most critical jobs we’ve been tasked with as parents.”
― Karis Kimmel Murray, Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst

“Forgiveness goes a long way. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that our mistakes have no consequences. It means that we give one another the things we desperately need but don’t necessarily deserve after we’ve made a mistake—love, value, and hope.”
― Karis Kimmel Murray, Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst

“And only by God’s grace can we respond in a way that lets our kids know they are free to share their vulnerabilities with us and we will use our power not to wound them but to protect them.”
― Karis Kimmel Murray, Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst

“We all need secure love, significant purpose, and strong hope.”
― Karis Kimmel Murray, Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst

“More than ever, my generation of parents is strapped with the oppression of perfectionism when it comes to raising our kids. It’s a poison pill that society has dealt us and we have freely swallowed.”
― Karis Kimmel Murray, Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst

“God’s grace doesn’t mean that His rules, boundaries, and standards disappear.”
― Karis Kimmel Murray, Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst

“Even still, we are the mechanism God uses to meet our kids’ heart needs in a tangible way. Parents are the primary reflection our kids see of God’s heart and His grace.”
― Karis Kimmel Murray, Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst

“Raising kids who grow up to be adults who love a hurting world and transform it for God’s glory is all the reward we need.”
― Karis Kimmel Murray, Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst

“Kids parented with grace have a tendency to be others-oriented and focused on the things in life that have eternal value.”
― Karis Kimmel Murray, Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst

“When our kids are at their worst, responding with grace-based discipline, rather than a panicked reaction, requires an intentional consciousness built upon correct ideological foundations. But even with that, some folks still struggle to build from there.”
― Karis Kimmel Murray, Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst

“Parenting (and disciplining) our kids the way God does requires that we see our Father for who He really is. It’s hard to copy a picture you can’t see.”
― Karis Kimmel Murray, Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst

“More than anything, we’ve got to get out of our own way and let God parent our children through us. That’s how faith will come alive in our kids.”
― Karis Kimmel Murray, Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst

“If you’re still unsure how to respond to your kids’ defiance, ask, “How does God respond to me?” If you’re still unclear about what to do about your kids’ behavior, ask, “How does God discipline me?”
― Karis Kimmel Murray, Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst

“Consequences are uncomfortable or undesirable outcomes of behavior. Consequences can be seen as the cost of our behavior and also the pain that that price or outcome inflicts.”
― Karis Kimmel Murray, Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst

“Sometimes our kids do stuff (sinful or otherwise) because they are trying to meet a legitimate need in an illegitimate way.”
― Karis Kimmel Murray, Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst

“I see at least three categories17 of legitimate needs our kids might be seeking to meet in illegitimate ways with their behavior: physical needs, special needs, and inner needs.”
― Karis Kimmel Murray, Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst

“Overly restrictive regulations turn otherwise well-intended, conscientious kids into noncompliant violators. In order to comply, they become lifeless robots, or worse, they feel they’ll never measure up so they completely give up trying.”
― Karis Kimmel Murray, Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst

“Grace helps us base the rules of our home on love and have an outward-focused relationship with God and others.”
― Karis Kimmel Murray, Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst

“In the same way, a grace-based home isn’t one where rules, boundaries, and standards don’t exist. Our kids need consequences for their choices and behavior, but they need to feel sure that our love and grace for them will remain steady and constant regardless.”
― Karis Kimmel Murray, Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst

“That’s how God parents us, and that’s why a grace-based home is one where our kids know that their identity as a loved member of our family doesn’t hinge on their behavior.”
― Karis Kimmel Murray, Grace Based Discipline: How to Be at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst