A Most Unlikely Hero Quotes

“olfactory senses,”
― Brandon Varnell, A Most Unlikely Hero

“Getting out his electro-whip, Alex leapt several meters backwards, and then struck out with his whip, which wrapped around Azazel’s left arm. Then he pressed a button on the handle. The whip coiled around the arm, tighter and tighter, until not even Azazel could pry it off, though that didn’t stop his opponent from trying. “What kind of weapon is this?!” “Ha-ha-ha! How do you like my electro-whip?” Alex couldn’t help but gloat. “It contains a pulse field generator that I can use to create a combination of different effects. Right now it’s being used as a magnet. Your adamantine suit might not be a known alloy to humanity, but it’s clearly made of similar ionic bonds, which means you’re now trapped.” His electro-whip didn’t just shock things. He could change the settings based on what effect he wanted, whether that was zapping people with electricity or bonding alloys together through magnetism. “So you say, but you seem to have forgotten something.” “What’s that?” “I am an Angelisian, and we’re well-known for being some of the strongest beings in the galaxy. Our physical strength is second to none. We can lift and throw several tons without breaking a sweat.” Azazel’s smile made Alex feel like someone had dropped a lead ball in his gut. “How much do you think you weigh?” “Um, about seventy-nine kilograms… oh crap!” “ARGG!” “WAAAAHHH!”
― Brandon Varnell, A Most Unlikely Hero

“What the fuck?”
― Brandon Varnell, A Most Unlikely Hero

“Officer Tristin to HQ. Tristin to HQ. We have a potentially hostile situation near Mars Memorial Mall. I need backup, over.” “This is HQ. Roger that, Officer Tristin. Please do what you can to keep the situation from degrading further. Help is on the way. I repeat, help is on the way.” Azazel’s ears twitched. This was not good. He couldn’t afford to get himself arrested here. That would disgrace his title as a commander of Angelisia. Therefore, he, Azazel, did the only thing that he could think of to avoid this potentially hostile situation. He turned around and ran away. “The perpetrator is getting away! I’m going to need backup now!”
― Brandon Varnell, A Most Unlikely Hero

“I met Jasmine through her brother, James—an arrogant jerk who thinks that sunshine shoots from his ass because he’s rich.”
― Brandon Varnell, A Most Unlikely Hero

“hope you'll all give the second volume of A Most Unlikely Hero a try when it comes out! P.S. Someone once mistook the title of this series for A Moist Unlikely Hero, which I found hilarious.”
― Brandon Varnell, A Most Unlikely Hero

“Acting quickly, Alex stepped to the left. Azazel recovered quicker than he expected and a punch whizzed by his head. This didn’t deter Alex as he reached out, latched onto Azazel’s wrist in a vise-grip, and pulled. The armored Angelisian stumbled forward. Alex used his opponent’s precarious balance to put a foot through Azazel’s instep, ending his foe’s stumbling advance, and then launching a palm strike that bounced off Azazel’s segmented breastplate. “Yeowch!” A pause ensued in their battle as Azazel watched Alex run around the grassy canal, frantically gripping his now swollen hand and shouting obscenities. “Holy crap, that hurt! Why does this hurt so much?! What the frack is your armor made out of?!” “It’s made out of adamantine, the strongest alloy on Angelisia. A human such as yourself would never be able to break through it to damage me.” “I already know what your armor is made of! That was a rhetorical question!” Alex snapped, blowing on his hand. By Mars that hurt! It felt like he’d tried to stop a speeding shuttle by punching it. Alex made a mental note to avoid hitting that armor.”
― Brandon Varnell, A Most Unlikely Hero

“What are naughty things anyway?” Gabrielle asked. The sound of Alex’s hand smacking his face echoed louder than it should have in the din of the crowd.”
― Brandon Varnell, A Most Unlikely Hero

“Um, what’s a girlfriend?” … Except that Gabrielle didn’t seem to know what a girlfriend was. Must not facepalm. Must not facepalm. Must not facepalm. “Surely you jest, dear.” Mrs. Metronome waved her left hand at Gabrielle. “A girlfriend is the most important person in a young man’s life. Many a young man spend their entire teenage lives seeking a girlfriend. She is the apple of his eye, the sweety to his pie, the socket to his plug…” “Please don’t make such disturbing references,” Alex deadpanned. “She is his everything, his most cherished person in the entire galaxy, his princess.” Gabrielle’s excitement grew, signified by the sparkling of her eyes and the way she clasped her hands together. “I’m a princess!” Mustnotfacepalm. Mustnotfacepalm. Mustnotface-palm.”
― Brandon Varnell, A Most Unlikely Hero

“Gabrielle’s eyes glistened like twin stars. “Alex… thank you!” “Woah!” Completely overcome with emotion, Gabrielle lunged at Alex, bowling him over and landing on top of him, before squeezing him in a hug of Angelisian proportions. “What the—! G-Gabrielle, get off me!” “Hahaha! Thank you so much, Alex!” “Mars above! I think I just felt my ribs crack!” “I’m so glad I met you! You’re such an amazing person!” “Urk… can’t breathe…” And that was how Alex discovered that Angelisians were a thousand times stronger than humans.”
― Brandon Varnell, A Most Unlikely Hero

“Several guys tried to touch her. Alex promptly broke their fingers. As pained screams were drowned out by cheering, they burst out of the crowd and ran down the street.”
― Brandon Varnell, A Most Unlikely Hero

“A part of him wished that he could be a hero like Titan Girl—well, a male version of Titan Girl.”
― Brandon Varnell, A Most Unlikely Hero

“I sense a “but” hanging in the air… “But,”
― Brandon Varnell, A Most Unlikely Hero