Hardcore Twenty-Four Quotes

“I ordered a pitcher of beer,” Morelli said. “Hope that’s okay.” “It’s perfect. I need it now.” Morelli whistled through his teeth, and everyone jumped in the restaurant. He raised his hand and mouthed “Beer” to the waitress. “Gee, that’s smooth,” I said to Morelli. “I’m a Jersey Italian, and my girl needs a drink.”
― Janet Evanovich, Hardcore Twenty-Four

“Diesel grinned. “You have a choice. You can be the stupid inferior female or the stupid powerful female.” “How about if I’m just myself?” Diesel glanced at Ranger. “I’m not going to touch that one.” Ranger shook his head. “I’ll pass.” “Funny,” I said. “Very funny.”
― Janet Evanovich, Hardcore Twenty-Four

“I’m short. I have to think tall.”
― Janet Evanovich, Hardcore Twenty-Four

“My feeling is if God wanted me to pick up dog poop he would have made it look like diamonds and smell like roses.”
― Janet Evanovich, Hardcore Twenty-Four

“Your grandmother needs a ride to the viewing, and I’m holding you responsible if she shoots someone, gets arrested, or tries to take a selfie with the deceased.”
― Janet Evanovich, Hardcore Twenty-Four

“If Lula was a pastry she’d be a big chocolate cupcake with a lot of frosting. I’d be more of a croissant with a ponytail.”
― Janet Evanovich, Hardcore Twenty-Four

“I’ll have one of my men drop a car off for you.” “Thanks. I’ll try not to lose it.” “If you can manage to keep it intact for a week, it’s yours. If it gets stolen, blown up, crushed by a garbage truck, set on fire, filled with cement, or dies an untimely death by any other means, I’ll expect you to spend the night with me.”
― Janet Evanovich, Hardcore Twenty-Four

“Suppose I was able to get to court, and the zombies followed me there, and they ate all the people’s brains who were in the court?’
‘This is Trenton,’ Lula said. ‘You might not notice.”
― Janet Evanovich, Hardcore Twenty-Four

“The morally correct answer is yes, but the practical answer is no.”
― Janet Evanovich, Hardcore Twenty-Four

“Okay, but who knows what happens at night? They could come alive like the zombies.” I turned the corner and drove to my parents’ house. “You need cake.” “Hell, yeah.”
― Janet Evanovich, Hardcore Twenty-Four

“You could always count on melted cheese to have a calming effect.”
― Janet Evanovich, Hardcore Twenty-Four

“Dear Lord,' Lula said, 'Bless this disgusting, swelled-up groundhog and take him into the Kingdom of Heaven or wherever it is that dead groundhogs are supposed to go. Amen.' We both made the sign of the cross. 'I would have said more, but I didn't really know the deceased,' Lula said.”
― Janet Evanovich, Hardcore Twenty-Four

“zombie, all you have to do is douse your shop in my stink spray.”
― Janet Evanovich, Hardcore Twenty-Four

“He pooped twice, and I didn’t pick it up. My feeling is if God wanted me to pick up dog poop he would have made it look like diamonds and smell like roses.”
― Janet Evanovich, Hardcore Twenty-Four

“Do I look like I’m dressed for a snake jamboree? I don’t think so.”
― Janet Evanovich, Hardcore Twenty-Four

“I don’t think there’s a degree in protesting.” “There’s a lot to learn,” Lula said. “You gotta know about making signs and holding them up in the right fashion. And there’s ways to be obnoxious and provoke a fight. Then you gotta shout slogans and such.”
― Janet Evanovich, Hardcore Twenty-Four

“I’m told there’s a paint specialist in Denver who does wonderful work,” Judy said. “I’ve started a GoFundMe page for Mr. Murphy.” “That’s a excellent idea,” Lula said. “I hear those pages rake in big bucks. And they got a good variety of weed in Denver, too.”
― Janet Evanovich, Hardcore Twenty-Four