Interface Quotes

“I could have made new friends if I wanted to. It just seemed easier to make memes.”
― Lucy Mihajlich, Interface

“There was this feeling that you got when your video went viral. Like people were going to start asking for your autograph or panties. Like they were going to start sending you marriage proposals or death threats. Like you were going to be famous or at least internet famous. It started around a million hits. By ten million, you were buying bulk packs of panties to sell on iBuy.”
― Lucy Mihajlich, Interface

“People laughed when they heard a good joke, but they groaned when they heard a pun, because there was no such thing as a good pun. Only bad ones. It was okay if no one laughed, because you didn’t even do that on purpose. Puns were just jokes with lower stakes.”
― Lucy Mihajlich, Interface

“There wasn’t a day of my life I hadn’t thought about Garret Aker in one way or another. His products. His company. His speeches. I hadn’t once thought about where he slept. One way or another, he’d never seemed human enough for something like sleep.”
― Lucy Mihajlich, Interface

“Mom grounded me for buying fake ID drives, and outing the principal, and disliking her posts on interFacebook. She grounded me for breathing. At least, that was how it felt when I was a kid. Then I figured out she just sent me to my room so I wouldn’t see her drink.”
― Lucy Mihajlich, Interface

“I let a single tear fall. I shouldn’t have done that, because once I started, I couldn’t stop, and all of a sudden, I was crying. Not just crying. Ugly crying. The kind you only did when you were alone, because you knew how much it would embarrass everyone around you.”
― Lucy Mihajlich, Interface

“The trip only took twenty seconds, so I didn’t get to find out what it was a commercial for. Whatever it was, it sure made women moan a lot. Probably yogurt.”
― Lucy Mihajlich, Interface

“Ross blushed convincingly.”
― Lucy Mihajlich, Interface

“I had five pairs of earbuds at home, but I only used them for my aerobic krumping. Earbuds could cause hearing loss, and I already needed inFidelity hearing aids. I could listen to music with my hearing aids, but despite the name, the fidelity wasn’t very good.”
― Lucy Mihajlich, Interface

“Paranoia is just vanity with worse accessories.”
― Lucy Mihajlich, Interface

“It was probably hacker work too. Although it didn’t look like hacking. Nothing was blinking, beeping, or green. I didn’t see a single skull and crossbones. It just looked like Sol had fallen asleep at the keyboard.”
― Lucy Mihajlich, Interface

“If I skipped class, I would feel like I was wasting money. If I went to class, I would know I was.”
― Lucy Mihajlich, Interface

“The van had a mural on the side of a warrior woman riding a purple dragon. She was wearing a fur bikini, a fashion choice that didn’t make sense in any world, including the MMO she was from.”
― Lucy Mihajlich, Interface

“The terms and conditions for our toaster were sixty-eight pages long and included a warning not to discuss personal information in front of it.”
― Lucy Mihajlich, Interface

“Why did airports always have such big windows? They only let people see how late the planes were and how bad the weather was.”
― Lucy Mihajlich, Interface

“we were all victims of an obsolete educational system built on the belief that the best way to prepare us for the real world was by teaching us that a2+b2=c2, midichlorians were the powerhouse of the Force, and it was okay to dissect small animals if you called it Biology instead of Serial Killing 101.”
― Lucy Mihajlich, Interface