I Did NOT Give That Spider Superhuman Intelligence! Quotes

“Psychopomp utterly failed to object to a free meal and wielded a pair of chopsticks with the precision of a striking snake as she piled her plate high with some of everything that came past.”
― Richard Roberts, I Did NOT Give That Spider Superhuman Intelligence!

“four-foot-tall superheroine, the ten-year-old avatar of Death, and a cyborg fox walk into a bar. The bartender said nothing. He did look like he wanted to run to the bathroom. And keep running.”
― Richard Roberts, I Did NOT Give That Spider Superhuman Intelligence!

“I’m sick and tired of looking up at my partners. You, me, and her. Let’s be a hero team.” Unbelieving, Psychopomp shook her head. “I can’t be a hero. Do you know what I do?” I gave her shoulders an enthusiastic squeeze. “Yes! You murder boredom and spray coolness everywhere.” “A… hero.” Mish-Mosh hesitated over the word, rolling it around in her thoughts. “That is stopping people who hurt others from being able to hurt?” “Just that, but in a really fun way.”
― Richard Roberts, I Did NOT Give That Spider Superhuman Intelligence!

“I gave the black-robed scythe girl a… “What are you doing?” Psychopomp, down on all fours, had her arm stretched under the battered dumpster, digging at Moe’s leg. “Attempting to loot his wallet. The twentieth century holds few employment prospects for an eternal ten-year-old enslaved to feed Death’s scythe.”
― Richard Roberts, I Did NOT Give That Spider Superhuman Intelligence!

“She was, after all, just following the logical progression from the figure-hugging spandex bodysuits that were so popular lately. “Deniably nude” was avant-garde!”
― Richard Roberts, I Did NOT Give That Spider Superhuman Intelligence!

“The street was packed. The traffic was bad enough. Every parking space for miles was occupied. The sidewalks teemed with impatient humans, their buffalo-like oversized bodies rubbing against each other in an implied threat of stampede. Okay, I was seriously overdoing the “anti-human” jokes lately, but it felt so good to be back in the weirdness game, and with partners my size!”
― Richard Roberts, I Did NOT Give That Spider Superhuman Intelligence!