Since I Laid My Burden Down Quotes

“DeShawn once briefly worked at the baths. One night he was cleaning the bathrooms when he heard a meek cry for help from one of the stalls. He saw beneath the stall door a pair of feet moving precariously on the wet, tiled floor. DeShawn cracked the door open and saw a man, he looked to be in his seventies or maybe even eighties, barefoot in a towel. He was so stiff he couldn’t gain control of his feet, and DeShawn had to lend a hand to ground him and lead him out of the stall, as a fall at his age could prove fatal. DeShawn looked at the man and all he saw was his future.”
― Brontez Purnell, Since I Laid My Burden Down

“DeShawn told his mother, should anything happen, he wanted to be cremated. “Where do you want your ashes thrown?” asked his mother. “IN THE EYES OF MY ENEMIES!”
― Brontez Purnell, Since I Laid My Burden Down

“He made a list. Many men had died or simply vanished from his life—Jatius McClansy, Arnold, Skylar, his father, his stepfather, the list went on. He made a list of the pros and cons of all these men. He noticed that the last con for each of them was, He never really loved me.”
― Brontez Purnell, Since I Laid My Burden Down

“Last night DeShawn had taken a mix of drugs and decided to fulfill a fantasy he’d had for some years—the one where he goes to the back of the sex club, lies down on the floor with a towel over his head, and lets a bunch of gnarly strangers rail him. For years DeShawn had searched for the courage to make this dream real, but there were problems with its execution. DeShawn lay on the grimy sex club floor for hours, high and waiting for nothing, his pussy cold and lonely. No one would fuck him. Am I coming off too desperate? he asked as he collected what was left of his dignity and left.”
― Brontez Purnell, Since I Laid My Burden Down

“DeShawn didn’t remember much of beating Juan’s ass. He was later told that he cried, ripped the phone out of the wall, and threw it at Juan’s head before screaming, “I have a college degree! I’m better than you!” and jumping over the counter. DeShawn tackled the man, pinned him down, and started punching him in the face. All DeShawn could recall was being handcuffed and dragged into the police car. It had all been worth it.”
― Brontez Purnell, Since I Laid My Burden Down

“DeShawn himself had never thought of suicide, but he could understand ennui, that feeling of life as perpetual and epic but mostly for no big reason. On those really hard days DeShawn felt like a single sperm swimming around in some gay dude’s butthole, searching frantically for an egg that just wasn’t there.”
― Brontez Purnell, Since I Laid My Burden Down

“There was a time, many years ago, when he held vague plans of marrying some well-behaved man, moving to the suburbs, adopting children, and calling it a day. This was before he really knew himself. There had been too many self-publicized stunts of him unabashedly expressing himself in public, not to mention all those photos of him getting fucked floating around the Internet. Any man remotely resembling husband material steered clear of him years ago. There was nothing left to do at this point but become a drag queen and own a lot of pets.”
― Brontez Purnell, Since I Laid My Burden Down