When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities Quotes

“On Earth lately, I’ve been looking at everyone

like I love them, & maybe I do. Or maybe I only love
one person, & I’m beaming from it. Or actually

I just love myself, & I want people to know.”
― Chen Chen, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities

“But isn't this
how it happens? Aren’t all great
love stories, at their core,
great mistakes?”
― Chen Chen, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities

“Sometimes, parents & children become the most common strangers. Eventually, a street appears where they can meet again.”
― Chen Chen, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities

“Maybe the centipede in the cellar
knows with its many disgusting legs
why I am sad. No one else does.”
― Chen Chen, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities

“What is it, to remember nothing, of what one loved?”
― Chen Chen, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities

“I’m envious of the clouds who can from time to time
fall completely apart & everyone just says, It’s raining,
& someone might even bring cats & dogs into it,

no one says, Stop being so dramatic or You should see
a professional.”
― Chen Chen, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities

“Think of silence as a violence, when silence means being made a frozen sea. Think of speaking as a violence, when speaking is a house that dresses your life in the tidiest wallpaper. It makes your grief sit down, this house. It makes you chairs when you need justice. It keeps your rage room temperature.”
― Chen Chen, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities

“My mother was in the hospital & everyone wanted to be my friend.
But I was busy making a list: good dog, bad citizen, short
skeleton, tall mocha. Typical Tuesday.
My mother was in the hospital & no one wanted to be her friend.
Everyone wanted to be soft cooing sympathies. Very reasonable
pigeons. No one had the time & our solution to it
was to buy shinier watches. We were enamored with
what our wrists could declare. My mother was in the hospital
& I didn't want to be her friend. Typical son. Tall latte, short tale,
bad plot, great wifi in the atypical café. My mother was in the hospital
& she didn't want to be her friend. She wanted to be the family
grocery list. Low-fat yogurt, firm tofu. She didn't trust my father
to be it. You always forget something, she said, even when
I do the list for you. Even then.”
― Chen Chen, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities

“You are just in the same room with me & my unsweet, uncharming, completely uninteresting sadness. I wish it could unbelong itself from me, unstick from my face.”
― Chen Chen, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities

“What is it, to remember nothing, of what one loved?”
― Chen Chen, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities

“In this economy
of acute magpie syndrome. Where “just a hobby” is the strongest
industry. & we work overtime at our reverie.
My weakness is loving this economy.”
― Chen Chen, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities

“I’m trying out this thing where questions about love & forgiveness
are a form of work I’d rather not do alone. I’m trying to say,
Let’s put our briefcases on our heads, in the sudden rain,
& continue meeting as if we’ve just been given our names.”
― Chen Chen, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities

“I’m envious of the clouds who can from time to time fall completely apart & everyone just says, It’s raining, & someone might even bring cats & dogs into it,”
― Chen Chen, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities

“Oh. Sorry. Hello. Are you on your way to work, too?
I was just taken aback by how you also have a briefcase,

also small & brown. I was taken by how you seem, secretly,
to love everything. Are you my new coworker? Oh. I see. No.

Still, good to meet you. I’m trying out this thing where it’s good
to meet people. Maybe, beyond briefcases, we have some things

in common. I like jelly beans. I’m afraid of death.”
― Chen Chen, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities

“& it’s like another bad habit I can’t give up. Eating junk, can’t. Procrastinating,
can’t. Picking scabs, can’t. Being friends with people who challenge

my beliefs & life plans, can’t. Reading & believing in Ayn Rand, though?
Can. Brief phase as a Christian because I liked the cross as an accessory? Can.
WWJD? Can. White heterosexist patriarchy? Can. America . . . can’t.”
― Chen Chen, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities

“Later, during my friend’s smoke break, still can’t come up with a worthy
response to his radical queer critique of homonormativity, of monogamy,
domesticity, front lawn glory. These middle-class gays picking out

garden gnomes, ignoring all the anti-racist work of decolonization
that still needs to be done—don’t you think they’re lame? I say, Yeah, for sure,
but think, marriage, house, 1 kid, 2 cats—how long have I wanted that?

Could I give that up in the name of being a real queer? Probably can’t.”
― Chen Chen, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities

“the memory of when I was a kid
the days of excitement over the phrase "centrifugal force" I think it was my #1 phrase
for a week I started telling people that was where babies came from My father the scholar
shook his head & explained capital N- Nature yin & yang”
― Chen Chen, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities

“My job is to trick adults

into knowing they have
hearts.”
― Chen Chen, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities

“For though he does not fare well on planes he will fly to those he loves.”
― Chen Chen, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities

“Earlier today, outside the cabin, the sudden deer were a supreme
headache of beauty. Don’t they know I am trying to be alone
& at peace? In theory I am alone & really I am hidden,
which is a fine temporary substitute for peace”
― Chen Chen, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities

“It is time to show the universe what you are capable of,
says my horoscope, increasingly insistent this month.
But what I am capable of is staring

at the salt accident on the coffee table & thinking,
What sad salt. I admire my horoscope
for its conviction. I envy its consistency. Every day. Every day,
there is a future to be aggressively vaguer about.”
― Chen Chen, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities

“When did I first realize my parents were not infinite?
That I could see the end of them? Past their capes & catchphrases?”
― Chen Chen, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities

“I am knowledgeable in advanced aftermath. I am proficient
in scowling. Often I am a counterculture pistachio
on casual Friday. In one pocket, chapstick. In the other, racist comments
from people who claim to be postracial. Or kind.”
― Chen Chen, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities

“The reader's face is a child's rapt face. The book is her latest
soul, disguised as a more or less acceptable concrete object.
The child is happy. The afternoon, a novel.”
― Chen Chen, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities

“The rain falls on & off in the western city. The train slips
in & out of tunnels throughout the city. The reader falls endlessly
into her book.”
― Chen Chen, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities

“I don't know,
don't want to know
how anyone will die or when,
though I'd like to know generally
why”
― Chen Chen, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities

“Think of speaking as a violence, when speaking is a house
that dresses your life in the tidiest wallpaper. It makes your grief

sit down, this house. It makes you chairs when you need
justice. It keeps your rage room temperature. I’ve been thinking

about how the world is actually unbearable.”
― Chen Chen, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities

“Spring says it & fall are retracting
their contractual smells & birds, their unlimited

catalogue of liminal spaces.”
― Chen Chen, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities

“By the way, is this soy sauce
reduced sodium? Do you know? Do we care? High, unabashed sodium intake!
Unabashed exclamation points!”
― Chen Chen, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities

“Tonight I cannot believe
the skyline because the skyline believes in me, forgives me my drooling
astonishment over it & over the fact that this happens,
this night, every night, its belief, glittering mad & megawatt like the dreams
of parents.”
― Chen Chen, When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of Further Possibilities