A Fox's Vacation Quotes

“Hawa! It’s my family!” Camellia’s smile was brighter than a star as she waved at them. “Kirikiri, Iris, Lilian, Kevin-kyun! Hullo!” “Um, hello, Camellia,” Kevin muttered, warily eying the soldiers, who were looking at them stupidly. “My Lady, are… are you well? You’re not hurt, are you?” Kirihime asked, her fingers twitching, clearly longing to reach for the daggers under her dress. “Um!” Camellia nodded joyfully. “These nice people kept me company.” The “nice people” that Camellia mentioned snapped out of their fugue. They looked from the group of kitsune to Camellia, then back to the kitsune. Camellia again. Then the kitsune one more time. For good measure. “So, wait, these are the people you’re looking for?” one of the soldiers asked. “Yes!” Camellia’s sunny smile hadn’t changed in the slightest. She was completely unaware of the heavy tension pervading the atmosphere. “Those two are my daughters, and that’s Kevin-kyun, and that one is Kirikiri.” “Daughters,” one of the men muttered, eyes straying to the tails writhing behind the backs of the three kitsune. “Your daughters are kitsune.” “Of course,” Camellia said as if the answer should have been obvious. “I’m a kitsune, too.” As she spoke, five tails emerged from underneath her magical girl skirt, and her ears sprouted fur and became long and pointed. The group of spandex-clad men eyed each other. Anxiety was written all over their faces. They looked at Camellia’s still smiling face, then at the other four people. Kirihime had now taken out her knives, Lilian had several orbs of light orbiting her, and Iris had summoned some void fire, which hovered over her tails. Kevin didn’t have a weapon, or superpowers, but that didn’t stop him from preparing for combat. “We’re screwed, aren’t we?” asked one of the men. Everyone sans Camellia nodded. “Thought so.” ***”
― Brandon Varnell, A Fox's Vacation

“He wasn’t given time to think on this development as, not even a second later, several lances coalesced into existence around him. “Let’s see you dodge this,” Ken said, smiling widely. “Water Art: Numerous Spears.” “And people say I’m horrible at naming things—eek!”
― Brandon Varnell, A Fox's Vacation

“Look, Belove—I mean, Sensei! It’s Natsumo and Satsuki! We have to get a picture with them!” Kevin looked at where Lilian was pointing. Indeed, standing not several feet away were the two titular characters of the Natsumo Shinobi series. If the obnoxious orange jumpsuit that Natsumo wore so often wasn’t enough to confirm this, then the hair-style shaped like a duck’s rear end that Satsuki was known for having did. “Yosh!” Kevin, still in the character of Mito Gay, the flamboyant martial arts master, grinned at his mate, who was currently dressed as his apprentice, Mook Lee. “Come, Lee, let us ask that youthful couple if they would like to take a picture with us.”
― Brandon Varnell, A Fox's Vacation

“Justin then turned to Eric. “… Jabidaya…” Indeed, Eric had dressed up as his favorite anime character, the perverted teacher of Natsumo Uzukami: Jabidaya. Waist-length white hair ran down his back like a lion’s mane. A headband with metal plate that had a dildo etched onto the center wrapped around his forehead, allowing two spiky locks from his wig to descend on either side of his face like a pair of testicles. A red jacket worn over a green long-sleeved shirt went down to his knees. Green pants and wooden geta sandals made up the rest of his ensemble. Judging from the quality of the outfit, it was one of those cheap ones that people bought online.”
― Brandon Varnell, A Fox's Vacation

“Ken was thrown backwards by Kevin’s powerful double heel kick. Kevin, having used the kitsune as a springboard, flipped through the air and landed in a crouch. The two-tailed fox was not so lucky. After sailing through the air, he hit the ground. Hard. “Urk!” Ken nearly swallowed his tongue as he slammed into the ground. He continued to tumble across the asphalt for several more feet before coming to a halt. Kevin stood back up and clapped his hands several times, wearing an expression that epitomized satisfaction. He turned his head to look at his mate and the flabbergasted kappa. “You just kicked a kitsune,” Kyle stated the obvious. “That I did.” Kevin nodded, quite proud of himself. This was the first time he’d managed that kick without landing on his back. “You two should get going. I can handle things here.” “You sure?” Kyle appeared dubious. “You may have gotten the drop on him, but that guy is still a kitsune, and, well, you’re just a human.” Two sets of cheeks puffed up simultaneously. “Don’t underestimate me! Who the hell do you think I am?” Kevin shouted, pointing at Kyle. Don’t underestimate my mate! Who the hell do you think he is?” Lilian also shouted. She was also pointing at Kyle. The kappa looked at the two of them, his face slowly deadpanning. “You two just did that in synch.” Kevin and Lilian tilted their heads at the same time. Their expressions were almost identical. “We did?” “Yes, you did.” The two might have responded to Kyle’s words, but they were forced to scramble out of the way when a drill made of water crashed into the ground, which cracked underneath the intense pressure. They looked at the person who’d created it—Ken, once again on his feet, with blood trailing down his forehead, and his two tails writhing in furious agitation. “Quit ignoring me!” “Oh, right,” Kevin muttered. “You’re still here.” “Are you saying you forgot about me already?!” “I’m sorry. You’re just not that important.” “What?!” Ken gawked. “That’s what happens when you’re a fop,” Lilian added. “Ugh.” “Yeah, nobody likes a fop,” Kevin agreed. “Gurk.” “Especially not pretty boy fops,” even Kyle got in on the action. “Shut up!” Ken growled, his cheeks almost neon red. “Shut up, shut up, shut up! I’ll show you! I’ll prove to all of you that I’m not a fop!” “Only someone who’s a fop would bother trying to prove that he’s not a fop,” Kevin chided.”
― Brandon Varnell, A Fox's Vacation

“All four figures skidded to a halt. Three sets of eyes widened in recognition. “You!” Kevin was the first to respond, pointing an accusing finger at the blond kitsune. “You’re the fop who kept hitting on my mate!” “And you’re that human who thinks he’s hot shit when he’s really not!” “Hey! That’s rude!” The kitsune deadpanned. “So is calling me a fop.” “Aw, whatever,” Kevin dismissed the man. “You are a fop. I mean, just look at your hair.” A tick mark appeared on the kitsune’s forehead. “What’s wrong with my hair?” “Nothing, nothing at all… if you’re a girl, that is.” “Oh, that does it. I’m not usually one for fighting a human, but you’ve pissed me off, kid.” The kitsune rolled up his imaginary sleeves… and then he paused. “Wait a minute. Did you say mate?” That’s when his eyes landed on Lilian in her hybrid form. Kitsune are very vain creatures. They are naturally drawn to beauty. While what is and is not beautiful is subjective, there are some things that can be considered universally beautiful. Iris is a perfect example of this, and so is Lilian. Kevin gained several throbbing veins on his forehead when he noticed the blond fox’s lecherous gaze. “Stop-ogling-my-mate-you-damn-pervert-kick!” “Buaf!”
― Brandon Varnell, A Fox's Vacation

“Kevin awoke, not with the slow realization that came from regaining consciousness, nor with the startled gasp of a man having a nightmare, nor even the groan that was stereotypical of anime characters when they wake up—no, when Kevin woke up, it was to the feeling of a hand being shoved down his throat. His eyes snapped wide open. However, he still couldn’t see anything. His eyes perceived nothing beyond the amalgam of blurred colors, mixing and matching and morphing and changing, a sickening compendium that his mind couldn’t comprehend. Images flashed past his vision. A walk on the beach. Red hair. A swell. A raging torrent, an infinite tide of water rising into the sky, cresting against the heavens. He tried to cough, to hack, to something, but it was no use. The hand remained shoved firmly down his throat. And then it was gone. Kevin gagged, and then coughed out what must have been several gallons of water. Each cough wracked his body with pain. Each breath caused his ribs to creak. Even the slightest movement hurt. Something appeared in front of him. It was a blurry green object. What… the… heck? “I’m glad to see that you’re awake,” the shape said. Kevin blinked. “Tell me, how many fingers am I holding up?” “Fingers…” Was what he meant to say. “Fssshrrsss…” Was what he said. “Hmm, it seems your eyesight is a bit unfocused. Here, let me fix that for you.” Kevin would have asked what this object—person? — meant, but he never got the chance—because something smacked him in the head. Hard. “Ouch!” Kevin covered his face with his hands. Gods that hurt! What the hell was he just hit with? A mallet? “What the heck was that for, you crazy coot?!” “Ho? Can you see me now? How many fingers am I holding up?” Kevin was about to answer, but words fled when he realized who—no, what stood before him. Scaly green skin covered a small, squat body, clothed in a plain brown robe. This… thing stood with a stoop. It had a hunch of some kind, and Kevin was certain that the robe was covering something big attached to its back. A really long neck protruded from the robes, which was attached to a reptilian and very bald head. It was holding up three fingers. Mainly because it only had three fingers. “Holy crap, it’s a Ninja Turtle!” The “Ninja Turtle” twitched. “I am not a Ninja Turtle!” It shouted. “Don’t confuse those sea turtle rejects with me!” “Holy crap, it talks!” More twitching. “Of course I talk, you idiot!”
― Brandon Varnell, A Fox's Vacation

“Is something wrong, Beloved?” Lilian asked, sitting beside him and munching on a bag of chips. “Naw.” Kevin dismissed his worry with a grin. “I’m just surprised that a tentacle monster hasn’t risen from the ocean and started randomly groping people.” A perfectly valid concern. “Don’t jinx it,” Lilian warned him. “Knowing the author as I do, he might very well decide to do that now that you’ve mentioned it.” Also a perfectly valid concern. Kevin’s eyes widened. “You’re right! With how cruel and sadistic he is, it wouldn’t surprise me if people started getting tentacle-raped for no reason.” I take offense to that. “Ugh,” Kevin groaned, “I really shouldn’t have opened my big mouth.” “What the hell are you two talking about?” asked Christine. “We’re talking about—” Kevin stopped talking. His eyes went through a series of rapid blinks, then he turned to Lilian. “What were we talking about again?” “Ha…” Lilian sighed in disappointment. “It seems the power is still weak in you.” “That’s because Kevin-sama is a human,” Kotohime interjected herself into the conversation. Kevin crossed his arms. “And what’s that supposed to mean?” “She’s talking about your ability to break the fourth wall,” Iris commented. She lay on her side, traces of sand clinging erotically to her still wet skin, which glistened in the sunlight. Kevin shook his head. How does she make everything look so freaking sexy? “Indeed.” Kotohime nodded. “I suspect that the only reason Kevin-sama is even capable of doing this much is because of his exposure to kitsune.” Lilian tilted her head before nodding. “That makes sense. So, does that mean that Kevin would lose his ability to break the fourth wall if we stopped living with him?” “Stop talking about me like I’m not even here!” “Probably. After all, Kevin-sama is just a human.” “What’s that supposed to mean?!” “Ufufufu, nothing at all, Kevin-sama.”
― Brandon Varnell, A Fox's Vacation

“After trying to bodysurf, the group decided to play with a beachball. “Lilian.” Kevin bumped the ball with an underhand hit that sent it sailing towards the redhead standing opposite of him. “Alex.” Lilian, in turn, hit the ball to Alex, who bumped it to Eric. “Gothic Hottie!” “Stop calling me that!” Despite her tsukkomi act, Christine didn’t miss a beat and hit the beach ball towards Andrew, who then bounced it at Iris. “Snow Wench.” Christine gritted her teeth as Iris gleefully smacked the ball towards her harder than necessary. “Fox Cunt.” In retaliation, Christine hit the ball twice as hard, not even bothering to hide that fact by lobbing it high like Iris had done. “Bitch Tits.” Iris returned the retaliation by reinforcing her muscles and smacking the ball again. The ball ended up getting whacked so hard that it was a wonder the thing didn’t pop. “Go suck a dick, bitch!” “Maybe later. And at least I can get a dick to suck. I’d be surprised if anyone wanted you touching theirs, flatty.” “I wouldn’t mind if Gothic Hottie sucked my—” “Not another word out of you, pervert!” “BUAFF!” And just like that, their game ended when Christine slammed the ball into Eric’s face, not only causing it to burst, but also sending the perverted lech into blissful catatonia.”
― Brandon Varnell, A Fox's Vacation

“And you expect me to believe that?” Shaking his head, Kevin left Iris and Kirihime to their bickering. He headed over to Lilian just as she was discarding her flip-flops. It was almost amusing to watch as she stuck her feet into the sand, clenching and unclenching her toes so as to feel the tiny grains between them. It was even more amusing when she took a stance, feet sliding until they were shoulder width apart, left hand on her hip and right clenched into a fist near her face. Kevin knew she’d gotten that pose from an anime or a manga—probably several. It was a common pose, after all. “All right! It’s time to get wet!” He facepalmed. “That’s really not something you should be saying in public.” He looked over at Justin, Alex, and Andrew, all of whom were lying on the ground, twitching. Blood squirted from their noses like oil from a broken gas line. “Really not something you should say in public.”
― Brandon Varnell, A Fox's Vacation

“Kevin Swift woke up to a series of unusual sounds. The first, not to mention easiest, for him to identify was crying—no, not just crying. Sobbing. It was the sound of someone sobbing manly tears, though they did not sound sad. The second sound was, strangely enough, a word: kawaii. Just what the heck someone was doing speaking Japanese was beyond him. It was the third sound, however, that caused him to open his eyes—namely because it was right next to his ear. “Nya.” Cracking a single eye open, Kevin first saw nothing but red. It was hair. Lilian’s hair. A million strands of silk that tickled his nose. The familiar scent of strawberries and vanilla lulled his mind into a sense of contentment. He must have buried his face in her hair sometime during the night. “Nya.” Something swatted at his ear, sharp and hard. It kind of hurt. Unburying his face and turning his head, Kevin met the large yellow orbs of a black cat. “Nya.” “Morning.” He yawned. “Nya.” “Did you sleep well?” “Nya.” “Good to know.” “Nya.” “… You don’t really say anything other than ‘nya’ do you? Shouldn’t you be ‘meowing’ instead? You know, like a cat should?” The cat tilted her head. “Nya?” “… Never mind.”
― Brandon Varnell, A Fox's Vacation

“that’s when Kevin arrived onto the scene. “I-would-call-this-dynamic-entry-but-cannot-for-fear-of-copyright-laws-kick!” His body spinning in midair, the young man lashed out at the woman with a kick from behind. She seemed to sense it, however, and managed to avoid getting her head rung like a bell. Her body smoothly rolled across the grassy ground, where she kipped back up to her feet. She turned around to face her newest attacker… and froze.”
― Brandon Varnell, A Fox's Vacation

“A man strolled up to their table, dressed in the garb of a waiter. His blond hair was long and shiny, showing that he obviously took great care of it, probably more so than a man had any right to care for their hair. Light blue eyes were hidden beneath several strands of shimmering gold, and his pearly white teeth gleamed as he smiled. Kevin nearly groaned. Great. This was just what they needed. A bishie. “Good evening ma’am, madam… sir.” For reasons beyond Kevin, he felt like this man only added him at the last second as an afterthought. “Would either of you care for a refill?” he asked the two ladies at the table, though his eyes focused on Lilian. Kevin felt his blood boil. “No thanks. I’m good here.” Lilian dismissed the man without even looking at him. Vindication rushed through his veins when Kevin saw the pretty boy’s right eye twitch. He apparently wasn’t used to women ignoring him. “I see.” Kevin had to give the man credit. He kept his annoyance in check well. “And what about you, madam?” he addressed Kotohime. “Is the wine to your satisfaction?” He gave her his best smile. “It’s all right, I suppose.” Kotohime took a sip of the wine that he spoke of, managing to hide her grimace. “Though I do wish that you were in possession of some sake instead.” Another twitch. “I apologize that we could not accommodate you.” He bowed. “I have, of course, already suggested that we begin working towards importing sake, however, these things do take time. It will probably be at least a year before we see anything done.” “A shame,” Kotohime said, “I know that Kiara was most looking forward to trying some.” At the mention of Kiara, the man gripped the water pitcher in his hand hard enough that Kevin thought the handle would shatter. Did this man have a grudge against Kiara? He didn’t think so, but then, who could say for sure. For all Kevin knew, this man could have asked Kiara out on a date, thinking his bishounen good looks would make her swoon over him—and had then been disappointed when she told him that wimpy maggots who sparkled didn’t do it for her. Kevin could totally see that happening. “Yes, well, I am terribly sorry to disappoint a woman of her… esteemed position, but I am not in charge of imports, I’m afraid. I merely wait tables.” “Indeed.” “If you’ll excuse me.” “Hold it.” The man turned around. Kevin almost smiled when the man aimed an evil glare at him. He raised his glass. “I’d like a refill of water, please.” A twitch. “Of course, sir.” The man refilled his glass. Kevin leaned in. “If I ever see you stripping my girlfriend with your eyes again, I will rip your arms off and shove them so far up your ass that you’ll need to have surgery done if you ever want to use the restroom again,” he said, his tone and manner nonchalant. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” the man said, his smile fixed. “I am merely doing my job as your host.” “Yes.” Kevin snorted. “I’m sure you are.”
― Brandon Varnell, A Fox's Vacation

“Hold up, you two,” Kevin stopped Alex and Andrew before they could claim separate beds. “There are only four beds, and since you two are twins, you’re going to be sharing one of them.” “WHAT?!” The shout came from them both. “That’s not fair,” Alex whined. “Yeah, why do I have to sleep with this idiot?” “Don’t act like you’re the victim here. I’m the one who’s gonna be stuck dealing with your antics, you damn bed-hogger.” Blink. A vein throbbed on Andrew’s head. “A bed-hogger, am I? Well, who’s the one who’s always stealing the sheets? Huh! Huh?!” Blink. Blink. “At least I don’t still wet the bed!” Massive blinking. “You… you promised you’d never tell anyone that! And I haven’t wet the bed in, uh, well… a while! Besides! Who was the one who left his bed a sopping mess the other day?!” “Why you… that was a special moment! SPECIAL!” Kevin, Eric, and Justin watched as the two fraternal twin brothers tackled each other to the ground. They rolled around on the floor, pushing and pulling and biting and hitting and clawing. It was like watching two dogs trying to chase each other’s tails. “Ne, Kevin, do you know what those two are talking about?” asked Eric. “No.” Kevin shook his head. “No, I don’t.” A pause. “And I don’t think I want to know.” “… Hehehe…”
― Brandon Varnell, A Fox's Vacation

“Having been the most rambunctious of the group, Kevin and Lilian conked out first. Lilian had pulled a sleeping bag from her Extra Dimensional Storage Space, and she and Kevin had crawled into it and passed out. They lay on their side, the two of them. Lilian was snuggled against Kevin’s chest, and the blond human had an arm around her waist, pulling her close. The others had to admit, however reluctantly, that the pair made for an unbearably adorable sight. “Nya…” The cat didn’t seem to think so. It glared at the duo with something resembling irritation. “Brother?” “Yes?” “Is it weird that I have this strange urge to squeal ‘kawaii’?” Alex glanced at what his brother was looking at… then shook his head. “That… I cannot answer.” “Hmm.” Andrew pondered these words for a second. “What about wanting to wrap my hands around Kevin’s throat and squeeze until his eyeballs pop out of his head and his tongue swells and thickens as he slowly suffocates to death?” Alex took a moment to think up an answer. “… No, I think your feelings are perfectly acceptable, given the situation.” “Good.”
― Brandon Varnell, A Fox's Vacation

“Kevin looked up from the manga he’d been reading, a story about a female ninja who wanted to become the leader of her village”
― Brandon Varnell, A Fox's Vacation

“Holy shit!” Those were the first words Eric spoke after entering the bus. “That’s what she said.”
― Brandon Varnell, A Fox's Vacation

“There you are.” “Nya.” The cat mewled as he lifted her up and carried her to the dining room, where he set her down on the floor. He fetched a bowl and set it on the tile, then poured some milk into it. “I hope you like milk.” “Nya!” Kevin wasn’t sure, but he could’ve sworn he saw stars appear in the thing’s big yellow eyes. He shook his head. Must be my imagination.”
― Brandon Varnell, A Fox's Vacation

“As Kevin pampered the cat, he realized that he needed to return home. Slowly, and with great reluctance, Kevin stopped petting the cat, which “nya’d” in complaint and tried to get his attention again. “Nya?” “I’m sorry.” Kevin struggled not to be blinded by the cuteness as he looked into the cat’s eyes. “But I really need to go.” “Nya?” “D-don’t look at me like that. I have… I need to leave. We’re planning a trip, so…” “Nya?” “Those eyes won’t… they won’t work on me. I’ve already been subject to them once. I won’t succumb again.” The cat tilted its head. Kevin squealed like a little girl who’d just been touched by her favorite pop idol. “Kya! So adorable!” He scooped the cat into his arms. The cat didn’t seem to mind. “I’m sure it’ll be fine if I take you home with me.” “Nya,” the cat mewled, seemingly in agreement.”
― Brandon Varnell, A Fox's Vacation

“Kevin chuckled and walked over to his bike. He put up the kickstand and grabbed the handles. It was time to head home. “Nya.” Blink. “Nya?” “Nya.” Blink. Blink. Kevin looked at the wall near the distribution building—and nearly squealed upon spotting the small, cute, adorably furry animal sitting on its haunches. A black cat with big yellow eyes stared at him. Its tail swayed behind it, moving left, then right. It opened its mouth, releasing another one of those utterly endearing, if unusual, “nya” sounds. This cat reminds me of the one that I took home with me when I was in elementary school. It even nyas. How cool is that? “Kitty!” Like a child who’d just seen a new toy on Christmas Day, Kevin dropped his bike and went over to the cat, whose large incandescent orbs had yet to leave his face. He reached the feline in record time, and his hand was quick to descend upon its head. The cat didn’t seem to mind. Indeed, it reveled in the attention, purring as he gently scratched behind its left ear, which twitched with minute movements.”
― Brandon Varnell, A Fox's Vacation

“So…” Lindsay started again, “… are we still on for spring break?” Jumping off her seat, Lilian stood on the table, left foot on the bench, right on the table itself. She raised a hand to her face, clenching it into a fist, eyes blazing with an inner fire. “Of course we are!” she declared, wearing a large, excited smile. “There’s no way we’re going to alter our plans now! This is my first spring break, and by Inari, we are going to travel out of this state and have fun!” A grinning Kevin followed his girlfriend-slash-mate’s example. He, too, jumped onto the table, imitating Lilian’s pose. An excited gleam had entered his eyes. “That’s right! This is something we must do! It’s going to be the adventure of a lifetime! There’s no way we can pass up on this opportunity!” Everyone stared at the two with the kind of “WTF?” expression that had become commonplace among them.”
― Brandon Varnell, A Fox's Vacation

“This particular manga was about a group of mages who were part of a guild. They took jobs and fought various bad guys. The main character, a young woman with blond hair and boobs the size of Camellia’s, could summon spirits with keys that opened the gates to another dimension. “Fire Dragon’s Iron Fist, huh?” Kevin looked at the image depicting a pink-haired mage smashing a fire-covered fist into an enemy’s face. “That’s such a cool name. I wish I could come up with a name like that, but I don’t have any super cool powers that would be worthy of such a name.” He sighed. “What I wouldn’t give for the ability to use magic.”
― Brandon Varnell, A Fox's Vacation

“At the mention of Kiara, the man gripped the water pitcher in his hand hard enough that Kevin thought the handle would shatter. Did this man have a grudge against Kiara? He didn’t think so, but then, who could say for sure. For all Kevin knew, this man could have asked Kiara out on a date, thinking his bishounen good looks would make her swoon over him—and had then been disappointed when she told him that wimpy maggots who sparkled didn’t do it for her. Kevin could totally see that happening. “Yes,”
― Brandon Varnell, A Fox's Vacation