Candyfreak Quotes

“Every now and then, I'll run into someone who claims not to like chocolate, and while we live in a country where everyone has the right to eat what they want, I want to say for the record that I don't trust these people, that I think something is wrong with them, and that they're probably - and this must be said - total duds in bed.”
― Steve Almond, Candyfreak: A Journey through the Chocolate Underbelly of America

“The answer is that we don't choose our freaks, they choose us.”
― Steve Almond, Candyfreak: A Journey through the Chocolate Underbelly of America

“Art arises from loss. I wish this weren't the case. I wish that every time I met a new woman and she rocked my world, I was inspired to write my ass off. But that is not what happens. What happens is we lie around in bed eating chocolate and screwing. Art is what happens when things don't work out, when you're licking your wounds. Art is, to a larger extent than people would like to think, a productive licking of the wounds.”
― Steve Almond, Candyfreak: A Journey through the Chocolate Underbelly of America

“But I can think of nothing on earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night, which, for me, was ten to fifteen pounds of candy, a riot of colored wrappers and hopeful fonts,snub-nosed chocolate bars and SweeTARTS, the seductive rattle of Jujyfruits and Good & Plenty and lollipopsticks all akimbo, the foli ends of mini LifeSavers packs twinkling like dimes, and a thick sugary perfume rising up from the pillowcase.”
― Steve Almond, Candyfreak: A Journey through the Chocolate Underbelly of America

“Most forms of rage, after all, are only sloppy cloaks for grief.”
― Steve Almond, Candyfreak: A Journey through the Chocolate Underbelly of America

“I suppose I was aware, in an abstract way, that there were men and women upon this earth who served in this capacity, as chocolate engineers. In the same way that I was aware that there are job titles out there such as bacon taster and sex surrogate, which is to say, job titles that made me want to weep over my own appointed lot in life.”
― Steve Almond, Candyfreak: A Journey through the Chocolate Underbelly of America

“The reason Americans favor milk chocolate over dark is because Milton Hershey got his bars into enough American mouths to establish our collective taste.”
― Steve Almond, Candyfreak: A Journey through the Chocolate Underbelly of America

“retail chains charge tens of thousands of dollars to place a particular candy bar in the racks near the register. Very few people, after all, head into”
― Steve Almond, Candyfreak: A Journey through the Chocolate Underbelly of America

“Eventually, I headed to the bathroom, and I mention this only because I saw in that bathroom the most quintessentially American artifact I have ever encountered: a bright blue rubber mat resting in the bottom of the urinal emblazoned with the following legend:

Epply
World's Cleanest Airport
Omaha, NE

God bless our relentless idiotic optimism.”
― Steve Almond, Candyfreak: A Journey through the Chocolate Underbelly of America

“Why are people so fascinated by how to eat Valomilks?’ She said, ‘Well, Dad, they’re round and they’re messy. But that’s what makes them fun. Once we get older we’re not supposed to be messy anymore. But for one moment when you’re eating a Valomilk, it’s okay to be messy again.”
― Steve Almond, Candyfreak: A Journey through the Chocolate Underbelly of America

“as a suitable summation of the human condition: “They’re dangerous,” he said. “The filling gets all over the place. That’s just how they’re made.”
― Steve Almond, Candyfreak: A Journey through the Chocolate Underbelly of America

“Most forms of rage, after all, are only sloppy cloaks for”
― Steve Almond, Candyfreak: A Journey through the Chocolate Underbelly of America

“the curdling of expertise into hauteur.)”
― Steve Almond, Candyfreak: A Journey through the Chocolate Underbelly of America