You Are A Ghost. (Sign Here Please) Quotes

“he was thrown for a loop at the end of the street, where a large green road sign with the word “Go” was written on it. Brian stopped to stare at it. “You’d better get a move on,” Nathan advised him. “It’s illegal to stop at a go sign.”
― Andrew Stanek, You Are A Ghost. (Sign Here Please)

“For those who don’t know, the pigeonhole principle is the logical, mathematical, and scientific principle that if you have too many pigeons and not enough pigeonholes, the pigeons will get mad at you. A lot of people might wonder where these uppity pigeons get off, refusing to room together - they’re only pigeons, brains the size of peas - whereas humans share rooms quite happily, but no, His Majesty the pigeon needs his own fancy hole to live in, otherwise he gets mad... but, as anyone who lives in a big city knows, pigeons have ways to make your life very unpleasant if they don’t have enough pigeonholes. If you have ever woken up to find your house, car, roof, or dog covered in pigeon poop, it is probably because you have angered the pigeons by failing to provide them enough pigeonholes. Build them more pigeonholes and they won’t poop on your car anymore. That is the crux of the pigeonhole principle.”
― Andrew Stanek, You Are A Ghost. (Sign Here Please)

“Meanwhile, Travis (who did not believe planes could fly so had already resigned himself to the crash) was reading through the literature on the back of a seat in front of him. He tossed aside a magazine entitled, “So You’re Trapped On An Airplane And Have No Choice But To Buy Things To Pass The Time,” and pulled out a new one that said, “How to operate a parachute: a quick guide.”
― Andrew Stanek, You Are A Ghost. (Sign Here Please)

“Brian was busy filling out a complicated form that estimated his expected costs for the meal and notified the accounting department to prepare to reimburse him for possible expenditures”
― Andrew Stanek, You Are A Ghost. (Sign Here Please)

“Therefore, the quickest, easiest, and usually best route for an intelligent person to take to become the world’s leading expert is simply to make up a field to be the leading expert in.”
― Andrew Stanek, You Are A Ghost. (Sign Here Please)

“political science being the branch of science where you stuff elected officials into test tubes and centrifuge them to separate out their policy views)”
― Andrew Stanek, You Are A Ghost. (Sign Here Please)

“you should especially never relax around the politicians, lest they trick you into voting for them.”
― Andrew Stanek, You Are A Ghost. (Sign Here Please)

“The other primary function of bureaucracy is to ensure that nothing that is even conceivably useful or helpful to anyone could ever, ever happen,”
― Andrew Stanek, You Are A Ghost. (Sign Here Please)

“keep your friends close and your enemies bunched up tightly together in one place where they can be easily exploded,”
― Andrew Stanek, You Are A Ghost. (Sign Here Please)