Mordacious Quotes

“You draw a line in the sand and say you won’t cross it, you won’t believe or do a particular thing. But once you’ve grown accustomed to the unbelievable, or you’ve done what you’ve sworn you’d never do, you redraw the line a little farther back. You let the waves wash the first away like it never existed.”
― Sarah Lyons Fleming, Mordacious

“She just has to get out of her own way."

I've heard the expression countless times—from my brief forays into Al-Anon to Grace—but it's only now that I hear it, as Grace would say. I'm my own worst enemy. It's great to recognize the problem. How to stop doing it is the biggie.”
― Sarah Lyons Fleming, Mordacious

“He’s funny and attractive. That doesn’t mean I want to sleep with him.” “That always means you want to sleep with someone.” “Thanks a lot,” I say. “Was that a thinly-veiled slut accusation?” “That’s funny, it wasn’t supposed to be thinly-veiled.”
― Sarah Lyons Fleming, Mordacious

“Dark humor is in our genes. I can die having laughed every chance I got, or I can die having been miserable. Either way, I’ll be dead. Besides, I didn’t mean it as much of a joke.”
― Sarah Lyons Fleming, Mordacious

“You could see their connection in the way they looked at each other, as if they knew what the other person was about and loved them because of and, sometimes, in spite of it.”
― Sarah Lyons Fleming, Mordacious

“She laughs and takes a breath, lips parted as if on the verge of saying something. There are sentences—paragraphs—of thoughts behind her eyes, yet she doesn't speak. That's something I don't like. I try to understand how hard it must be for her, though I wish she would give me something before I go.”
― Sarah Lyons Fleming, Mordacious

“Written words can be edited and polished and thrown away without ever seeing the light of day. Spoken words are different—once they're drifting out there in the breeze you can't call them back.”
― Sarah Lyons Fleming, Mordacious

“I think Sylvie's problem isn't that she can't make people like her; it's that she automatically thinks no one will, so she doesn't give them the chance.”
― Sarah Lyons Fleming, Mordacious

“Knowing you, you probably told him that mothers don't matter anyway."

It's a shot in the heart. More than anyone around here, I'm aware of how much they matter. Everyone thinks you get one automatically, but I know that's not the case. I swallow to keep the tears at bay. This is why I fight—so I don't cry.”
― Sarah Lyons Fleming, Mordacious

“What I like best about Leo is that he'd rather be cheerful than sulking, and the most effective way to change his course is to call him on his drama.”
― Sarah Lyons Fleming, Mordacious

“The only reason I can ask my next question is because it's dark.”
― Sarah Lyons Fleming, Mordacious

“For most people, sharing those details would mean nothing, but for someone who plays everything close to the vest, it feels as though I gave away a part of myself. Cold air whistles through the small hole it left in my armor; a way in for a dagger. But Grace says this is how you do it—you hand them the dagger and trust they won't use it.”
― Sarah Lyons Fleming, Mordacious

“And my dad. He's...he doesn't really like me, and I thought I'd be far enough away that I wouldn't care."

"There's never far enough away that you don't care," I say, and his eyes dampen. "But we like you, so fuck anyone who doesn't.”
― Sarah Lyons Fleming, Mordacious

“I decide to see if he is a mortal human like the rest of us. "Okay, here's my question—are you scared?"

"Anyone who isn't needs to have their head examined."

If Golden Boy is afraid, then I should be petrified. The distraction of the past few minutes vanishes, and now I am petrified—stomach boiling and chest taut. "I'm terrified," I whisper.

"That's because it's terrifying. Just promise you'll be careful."

I nod. But I'm terrified of so much more than zombies. I'm terrified of wanting to be around people, and I'm terrified of the inevitable moment when I'll find out they don't want me to be around me. And I'm especially terrified of this guy, these people, who make me want to be around people.”
― Sarah Lyons Fleming, Mordacious

“She disappears with fast footsteps. She might need friends, but I'm not sure she wants them.”
― Sarah Lyons Fleming, Mordacious

“Fear claws its way up my throat before I tell myself to chill the fuck out. I acknowledge the fear because it's real, and because fear is sneaky like that: if you don't let it be heard, it finds a new way in. But I won't let it control me.”
― Sarah Lyons Fleming, Mordacious

“He did what my mom couldn't: found the strength to love himself.”
― Sarah Lyons Fleming, Mordacious

“Not for the first time, I could use a manual on human interaction.”
― Sarah Lyons Fleming, Mordacious

“You test people," Grace continues. "You push them away to see if they'll come back, and, even if they do, you push until they don't. You pretend not to have feelings. Getting you to say anything but a joke or angry words is impossible."

Even when I want to let them out, words cling in my throat like barnacles. And, after I'm invariably disappointed, I'm glad I haven't given my true feelings away. But maybe it's because I haven't said them that I'm invariably disappointed. I'm sure I've caused my share of disappointment to the people who've waited for words instead of my signature wordless stare.”
― Sarah Lyons Fleming, Mordacious

“I don't like new people and new situations. I don't like figuring out how I fit in. Very often I don't, even if I try.”
― Sarah Lyons Fleming, Mordacious

“It's one thing to want to be alone, and an entirely different thing to be cast into a world that's empty but for you. Part of the fun of a close call is having someone with whom to laugh it off. Alone, it can magnify into something to be feared.”
― Sarah Lyons Fleming, Mordacious

“Even your freak-outs are lame. Can’t you just have a good cry and be done with it?”
― Sarah Lyons Fleming, Mordacious

“The nurses hand out food that was made yesterday. I’ve barely eaten, but I’m full after one bite of a tasteless sandwich. The rumbling and shaking finally stopped, and it’s been quiet in here ever since. I don’t imagine it’s quiet outside, though. I imagine it’s anything but quiet”
― Sarah Lyons Fleming, Mordacious

“Everyone’s nice,” I say, and think of Paul. “Well, maybe not everyone, but I like everybody else. How about that?” I prod her with my elbow. “I like people.” “You know what’s happening? You’re having corrective emotional experiences. That’s where—” I groan. “No, we are not having a Psychoanalyze Sylvie session on the roof. We’re making fun of Paul and possibly shopping, not discussing correctional emotions or whatever.”
― Sarah Lyons Fleming, Mordacious

“What a dick,” she says. “You know what the worst part is?” “That there are forty people left in the world and he’s one of them?”
― Sarah Lyons Fleming, Mordacious

“If I stay within the tree line at the edge of the field, my buddies across the way won’t notice, as they’re now chasing a bird. The bird lands to peck at the grass and, when they get close again, it flaps another ten feet and lands. I think it’s fucking with them.”
― Sarah Lyons Fleming, Mordacious

“I know this disbelief I feel, the disbelief on the others’ faces, is a survival mechanism. You draw a line in the sand and say you won’t cross it, you won’t believe or do a particular thing. But once you’ve grown accustomed to the unbelievable, or you’ve done what you’ve sworn you’d never do, you redraw the line a little farther back. You let the waves wash the first away like it never existed.”
― Sarah Lyons Fleming, Mordacious

“My mother will never make amends, will never be held accountable. She’s died just as selfishly as she lived. I contemplate kicking the bed. I go as far as lifting my foot but then imagine the rabbit hole of anger I’ll fall into if I give in to my wild urge. I won’t let my mother get to me.”
― Sarah Lyons Fleming, Mordacious

“As a child, I prayed she’d live, that she’d make it through the night. Eventually, I prayed she’d choke to death in her sleep. Not very kind, I know, but it would have meant escape. I was a prisoner of war in my mother’s battle with herself, and the only liberator was death.”
― Sarah Lyons Fleming, Mordacious