The Funniest Quotes Book Quotes

“If your friends don't make fun of you, they're not really your friends. Anon”
― M. Prefontaine, The Funniest Quotes Book: 1001 Of The Best Humourous Quotations

“A true friend stabs you in the front. Oscar Wilde”
― M. Prefontaine, The Funniest Quotes Book: 1001 Of The Best Humourous Quotations

“Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.”
― M. Prefontaine, The Funniest Quotes Book: 1001 Of The Best Humourous Quotations

“Don't allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be there option. Mark Twain”
― M. Prefontaine, The Funniest Quotes Book: 1001 Of The Best Humourous Quotations

“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. Miles Kington”
― M. Prefontaine, The Funniest Quotes Book: 1001 Of The Best Humourous Quotations

“Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them. Laurence J. Peter”
― M. Prefontaine, The Funniest Quotes Book: 1001 Of The Best Humourous Quotations

“If you don't read the newspaper, you are uninformed. If you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed. Mark Twain”
― M. Prefontaine, The Funniest Quotes Book: 1001 Of The Best Humourous Quotations

“Journalism largely consists of saying "Lord Jones is Dead" to people who never knew that Lord Jones was alive. Gilbert K. Chesterton”
― M. Prefontaine, The Funniest Quotes Book: 1001 Of The Best Humourous Quotations

“complicated”
― M. Prefontaine, The Funniest Quotes Book: 1001 Of The Best Humourous Quotations

“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there. George Burns”
― M. Prefontaine, The Funniest Quotes Book: 1001 Of The Best Humourous Quotations

“I have lost friends, some by death, others through sheer inability to cross the street. Virginia Woolf”
― M. Prefontaine, The Funniest Quotes Book: 1001 Of The Best Humourous Quotations

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. Oprah Winfrey”
― M. Prefontaine, The Funniest Quotes Book: 1001 Of The Best Humourous Quotations

“Colleges are places where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed. R.S. Ingersoll”
― M. Prefontaine, The Funniest Quotes Book: 1001 Of The Best Humourous Quotations

“Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school. John Dryden”
― M. Prefontaine, The Funniest Quotes Book: 1001 Of The Best Humourous Quotations

“It is said that the world is in a state of bankruptcy, that the world owes the world more than the world can pay. Ralph Waldo Emerson”
― M. Prefontaine, The Funniest Quotes Book: 1001 Of The Best Humourous Quotations

“Today, there are three kinds of people:  the have’s, the have-not’s, and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-have’s. Earl Wilson”
― M. Prefontaine, The Funniest Quotes Book: 1001 Of The Best Humourous Quotations

“I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong. Bertrand Russell”
― M. Prefontaine, The Funniest Quotes Book: 1001 Of The Best Humourous Quotations

“Why is it that when my alarm goes off at 6 am and I close my eyes for 5 minutes, it’s suddenly 7:30.  And when it’s 1:30 pm at the office and I close my eyes for 5 minutes, it’s only 1:31? Garry Shandling”
― M. Prefontaine, The Funniest Quotes Book: 1001 Of The Best Humourous Quotations

“Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune. Jim Rohn”
― M. Prefontaine, The Funniest Quotes Book: 1001 Of The Best Humourous Quotations

“Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn’t be any fun living in it, or profit. Josh Billings”
― M. Prefontaine, The Funniest Quotes Book: 1001 Of The Best Humourous Quotations

“When people ask me how many people work here, I say, about a third of them – Lisa Kennedy Montgomery”
― M. Prefontaine, The Funniest Quotes Book: 1001 Of The Best Humourous Quotations

“If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses. Henry Ford”
― M. Prefontaine, The Funniest Quotes Book: 1001 Of The Best Humourous Quotations

“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. Robert Frost”
― M. Prefontaine, The Funniest Quotes Book: 1001 Of The Best Humourous Quotations

“When opportunity knocks, some people are in the backyard looking for four-leaf clovers. Polish Proverb”
― M. Prefontaine, The Funniest Quotes Book: 1001 Of The Best Humourous Quotations