Panda-monium Quotes

“I pulled my Taser and ordered him to stop.” “And he listened?” I asked. “Oh no,” Kevin said. “Not at all. He shoved me out of his way and tried to make a run for it.” “So what’d you do, chase him down and tackle him?” Summer asked. “Er . . . no,” Kevin replied. “When he pushed me, I tripped over a little kid and, uh, sort of accidentally fired my Taser.” “So you tasered James Van Amburg by accident?” Mom gasped. “No.” Kevin said. “I tasered a different guest by accident. But then she fell down and Van Amburg tripped over her and knocked himself unconscious on the curb.” Hoenekker cringed, looking mortified by this story. “Wow,” J.J. muttered. “This is a real crack staff we have here.” “Thanks!” Kevin said, failing to grasp J.J.’s sarcasm. “Any idea what this accidental tasing’s gonna cost me?” J.J. asked. “Well, the woman was pretty upset,” Kevin admitted. “Especially because it happened in front of her grandkids.” “You tased a grandmother?!” J.J. exclaimed, horrified.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Panda-monium

“A cloud of mosquitoes suddenly swarmed us, which meant we were almost home.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Panda-monium

“No.” Kevin said. “I tasered a different guest by accident. But then she fell down and Van Amburg tripped over her and knocked himself unconscious on the curb.” Hoenekker cringed, looking mortified by this story. “Wow,” J.J. muttered. “This is a real crack staff we have here.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Panda-monium

“was drinking coffee the whole time. I’m telling you, whoever took Leaf Spring was no ordinary criminal.” “Li Ping,” I corrected.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Panda-monium

“He’ll have to go through the rest of his life with a divot in his buttocks!”
― Stuart Gibbs, Panda-monium

“I’d been assaulted by a panda with a gun.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Panda-monium

“After all, the last time I’d talked to Chloé, I’d been assaulted by a panda with a gun.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Panda-monium

“chupacabra!”
― Stuart Gibbs, Panda-monium

“goat sucker?”
― Stuart Gibbs, Panda-monium

“The Mexican goat sucker?”
― Stuart Gibbs, Panda-monium

“GOAT SUCKERS”
― Stuart Gibbs, Panda-monium

“Are you on drugs, young man?”
― Stuart Gibbs, Panda-monium

“Hank Dunst”
― Stuart Gibbs, Panda-monium

“jackasses.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Panda-monium

“the quickest way to win over your enemies is to make them think they suckered you out of something.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Panda-monium

“The janitor shouted something at us that the FunJungle Employee Handbook expressly forbade employees to say in front of the guests.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Panda-monium

“(We had locked him in a room with an angry, poop-throwing chimpanzee to get him to admit the truth.)”
― Stuart Gibbs, Panda-monium

“Instead of looking like a large group of pandas, however, the big mass of black and white really looked more like an Antarctic penguin colony.”
― Stuart Gibbs, Panda-monium

“Mission status?”
― Stuart Gibbs, Panda-monium