Sticky Church Quotes

“The ultimate goal of a sermon-based small group is simply to velcro people to the two things they will need most when faced with a need-to-know or need-to-grow situation: the Bible and other Christians.”
― Larry Osborne, Sticky Church

“Empowerment without a platform is like responsibility without authority. In too many of our churches, we offer discipleship training and leadership training without providing any significant platform for people to do the things they’ve been trained to do. This is especially true in our larger churches.”
― Larry Osborne, Sticky Church

“The only exception I’ve found to this principle is in the recovery movement, where small groups seem to be an effective evangelistic side door into the church all across the nation. I think it’s because, having hit bottom, these folks have an openness to try anything, including a small group. The concerns that give pause to the average American are overcome by their desperation and desire for sobriety. And once they find sobriety, they often end up finding the Lord as well.”
― Larry Osborne, Sticky Church

“But staff members tend to view job and church involvement as one. A monthly training meeting isn’t an extra night out as much as a part of the workweek. In fact, some staff members take the afternoon off as compensation, or sleep in late the next morning to “recover.” It’s the same for things like our weekly training audio. It may take many hours of prep to put it together, but again it’s all part of the job. No one on the ministry staff listens to it during their off hours.”
― Larry Osborne, Sticky Church

“We overtrained.”
― Larry Osborne, Sticky Church

“Asking for volunteers always surfaces a number of folks who love God but don’t have the relational skills needed to lead a group. That’s because when it comes to self-awareness, socially challenged people don’t have any. Most think they’re pretty good at getting along with others. Couple that with their high need for attention and affirmation, and you have a bunch of people who are quick to volunteer and hard to turn away.”
― Larry Osborne, Sticky Church

“That explains why those who join a group in which half or more of the members come from a previously existing group so often complain that the group is a bit cliquish and hard to break into. In most cases the problem isn’t cliquishness. It’s a differing set of relational needs, expectations, and capacities.”
― Larry Osborne, Sticky Church

“But in the midst of my research, I came across a series of studies that indicated that the amount of time a group spends together correlates directly to the level of personal appreciation for one another and overall sense of group cohesiveness. In other words, it’s not what people do in a group that matters as much as simply staying together for the long haul.”
― Larry Osborne, Sticky Church

“An unexpected trial or a significant crisis changes everything. Groups that were previously static, superficial, or even bored with one another go deep practically overnight. Forced to become the hands and feet of Jesus, they live out the body of Christ metaphor as a daily reality. And when they do, “my small group” quickly becomes “my family.” The beauty of this laid-back, trust-the-Holy-Spirit-to-do-exactly-what-Jesus-said-he-would-do approach is that it takes the pressure off our leadership team. We don’t have to produce elaborate schemes, structures, and processes to produce spirituality. All we have to do is provide an environment where people are connected closely enough and long enough for life to happen and for God to show up. It’s organic and simple. And it works.”
― Larry Osborne, Sticky Church

“I’m often asked how in the world we can develop life-changing sticky relationships in just ten weeks. Fact is, we can’t. But by stringing together enough ten-week sessions, we end up with something much deeper than we’d ever get with a mere six-month or one-year commitment—and very little weaseling.”
― Larry Osborne, Sticky Church

“Service Projects and Socials We ask every group to take on at least one service project a year (the ideal is two) and to have at least one social gathering per quarter. To make sure that good intentions become reality, we monitor the service projects. We also provide lots of hand-holding in the form of contacts and options for groups to choose from. While a group is free to choose its own projects, most groups pick from our list of alternatives. At the first meeting of the quarter, when everyone goes over their group covenant, we ask them to set dates for their social gatherings and determine a process for selecting a service project.”
― Larry Osborne, Sticky Church

“We ask everyone to use sentence prayers (one person praying for just one item at a time). This shuts down the long-winded dominator and enables those who are new or more introverted to pray out loud much more easily. Of course, if someone doesn’t want to pray, they don’t have to.”
― Larry Osborne, Sticky Church

“This can be very confusing and frustrating for people who are new to a community or church. The acts of friendship send one message, but the lack of connection sends another. It’s why so many people complain about churches being cliquish.”
― Larry Osborne, Sticky Church

“I often have people come up to me after a sermon and show me their outline, pointing out some blanks they filled out before the message began. You can see in their eyes and sly smile a sense of “Look, I got you!” In reality I got them. If they’re jotting down a passage, a point, or one of my favorite sound bites before I say it, they’ve come to the point of knowing the information. In the ultimate sense, my message has become memorable.”
― Larry Osborne, Sticky Church

“I grew up in a church where we studied one passage or topic in the Sunday sermon, another in Sunday school, still another on Sunday night, and something entirely different on Wednesday night. Frankly, I never had much of a clue as to what we were studying—something related to the Bible, I suppose. The teaching was far too disjointed to create any sense of focus, and for most of us it was more of a data overload than anything else.”
― Larry Osborne, Sticky Church

“Empowerment without a platform is like responsibility without authority. In too many of our churches, we offer discipleship training and leadership training without providing any significant platform for people to do the things they’ve been trained to do.”
― Larry Osborne, Sticky Church

“Once people get a taste of frontline ministry, they don’t let it go easily. Once the church has been let loose, it’s hard to put it back in the box.”
― Larry Osborne, Sticky Church

“To be structured for spiritual growth, a church (whether front-door or back-door focused) must have some sort of method in place to consistently connect people to both significant relationships and the Bible.”
― Larry Osborne, Sticky Church

“Since longtime members who switch services don’t like to be asked if they’re visiting (try it; you’ll enjoy the dirty looks), most of us learn to treat anyone we don’t recognize as a regular we haven’t met or someone whose face we can’t remember.”
― Larry Osborne, Sticky Church

“High-powered front-door programs can have the unintended consequence of sending a message that some weekends and programs are for bringing guests—and the rest aren’t.”
― Larry Osborne, Sticky Church

“Instead of celebrating how many people came, the most important measurement would be how many came back.”
― Larry Osborne, Sticky Church

“There’s another large group of churches at the opposite end of the spectrum. These are the ingrown and dying churches that don’t seem to care if anyone ever comes through the front door—or goes to hell, for that matter. On the surface, they can appear to be focused on one another and somewhat sticky, but they’re not. Ingrown and dying churches don’t take care of the flock. They appease the flock. And they’re not very sticky either. Except for a small group of people welded tightly together at the center, these churches are a lot more like teflon than velcro. Just try to connect with one. You can’t unless you’re willing to marry a member’s daughter.”
― Larry Osborne, Sticky Church

“pastors in churches with a strong evangelistic or innovative bent (among whom I count myself) to claim that they don’t like to be around Christians. One pastor recently told me that he didn’t want any Christians coming to his new church plant. He only wanted non-Christians searching for God, and new Christians who’d recently come to Christ. On one hand, I understand where he’s coming from. He’s tired of dealing with small-minded traditionalists who want to maintain a historical preservation society more than fulfill the mission. But on the other hand, I fear for the unintended consequences of his outlook. If he’s only going to reach out to non-Christians and nurture new Christians, what’s he going to do when those new Christians become plain ol’ Christians, the kind he hates to be around? His patience and compassion flow easily toward people caught in the addictive clutches of sin. He thinks the rough language and butchered theology of a new Christian is cool, sort of like the cute things little kids say and do. But two or three years later his patience runs thin and the compassion runs dry when he realizes that these cute new Christians are still dealing with the same old issues. At that point he leaves the “slow growers” to fend for themselves. Many quietly make their way out the back door, though he never seems to notice in the excitement of all the new folks coming through the front door.”
― Larry Osborne, Sticky Church

“Everything we do is aimed at helping the Christians we already have grow stronger in Christ. But everything is done in such a way that their non-Christian friends will understand all that we’re saying and doing. Bottom line: We’ve tried to create a perfect storm for come-and-see evangelism while velcroing newcomers for long-term spiritual growth.”
― Larry Osborne, Sticky Church

“In particular we’ll look in depth at sermon-based small groups, a lecture-lab model for studying the weekend sermon in-depth during the week. We’ll see how they work. We’ll explain why they have the power to make your church especially sticky. And we’ll discover why so many of the traditional small group models we’ve tried in the past sound great but don’t work all that well in real life.”
― Larry Osborne, Sticky Church

“The third kind of soil was weed infested, resulting in a crop that once again looked good for a while but eventually was choked off by what Jesus called the deceitfulness of riches and the desire for other things.”
― Larry Osborne, Sticky Church

“If the back door of a church is left wide open, it doesn’t matter how many people are coaxed to come in the front door—or the side door, for that matter.”
― Larry Osborne, Sticky Church

“Sharing Each week, we will take time to share what is happening in our lives. At first this sharing will include some planned “sharing questions.” After the first few weeks, it will become more informal and personal as our group feels safer and more comfortable. Study Each week we’ll study a portion of God’s Word that relates to the previous weekend’s sermon. Our goal is to learn how to apply and live out our Christianity in our day-to-day experiences and relationships. Support Each week, we’ll learn how to take care of one another as Christ commanded (see John 15:9–13). This care will take many forms, such as praying, listening, meeting needs, and encouraging and even challenging one another as needed. Five Marks of a Healthy Group For our group to be healthy, we need to 1. focus on spiritual growth as a top priority (Romans 8:29); 2. accept one another in love just as Christ has accepted us (Romans 15:7); 3. take care of one another in love without crossing over the line into parenting or taking inappropriate responsibility for solving the problems of others (John 13:34); 4. treat one another with respect in both speech and action (Ephesians 4:25–5:2); 5. keep our commitments to the group—including attending regularly, doing the homework, and keeping confidences whenever requested (Psalm 15:1–2, 4b). Guidelines and Covenant 1. Dates We’ll meet on ____________ nights for ____________ weeks. Our final meeting of the quarter will be on. 2. Time We’ll arrive between ____________ and ____________ and begin the meeting at ____________. We’ll spend approximately ____________ minutes in singing (optional),____________ minutes in study/ discussion, and ____________ minutes in prayer/sharing. 3. Children Group members are responsible to arrange childcare for their children. Nursing newborns are welcome, provided they are not a distraction to the group. 4. Study Each week, we’ll study the same topic(s) covered in the previous weekend’s sermon. 5. Prayer Our group will be praying each week for one another and specific missions requests. 6. Homework and Attendance Joining a growth group requires a commitment to attend each week and to do the homework ahead of time. Obviously, allowances are made for sickness, vacation, work conflicts, and other special events—but not much more! This commitment is the key to a healthy group. Most weeks, the homework will require from twenty to thirty minutes to adequately prepare for the group study and discussion. If we cannot come to a meeting, we will ________________________________ 7. Refreshments 8. Social(s) 9.”
― Larry Osborne, Sticky Church

“For the First Few Weeks of a New Group 1. What section of the newspaper do you read first—funnies, sports, world news, local news, editorial, business? Why? 2. What vacation or big trip (either as a child or as an adult) did you enjoy the most? 3. When you are lost, which of the following are you most likely to do? a. stop and ask for directions b. check a map c. drive around until you find the place you’re looking for d. not admit to anyone that you’re lost 4. When you undress at night, do you tend to put your clothes on a hanger, fold them over a chair, stuff them into a hamper, or leave them on the floor? Be honest! For Established Groups After a few weeks, history-giving questions can come right out of the sermon or biblical text. While tied to the message, they still need to be safe and nonthreatening. Some examples: 1. (for a message on the miracle of Lazarus): What is the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen? 2. (for a message on the Prodigal Son): Which of the following characters in the story do you most identify with—and why? a. the father b. the rebel son c. the “good” brother d. the friends at the party e. another character: __________ 3. (for a message on Matthew 7:1–5): Which phrase(s) best describe(s) the attitudes in the home you grew up in—and why? a. high expectations b. live and let live c. harsh d. tolerant e. merciful”
― Larry Osborne, Sticky Church

“The final question to ask before launching a new or revamped small group ministry is, “Who already does what we want to do well—and does it in a church we would go to if we lived in the area?”
― Larry Osborne, Sticky Church