Because We Are Bad Quotes

“I have existed for twenty-one years. I didn’t live them all, but from now on I am hoping to.”
― Lily Bailey, Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

“Don’t attach significance to it. If it loses its power to be scary, it won’t hurt you anymore.”
― Lily Bailey, Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

“I’d love to return my brain to factory settings.”
― Lily Bailey, Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

“When I spend uninterrupted time with other people, a dam builds in my head. It can hold the words back for a while, but at some point they’ll surge free and overflow, and there will be chaos.”
― Lily Bailey, Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

“How can I stop it?”
“When the thought comes,” says Dr. Finch, “don’t push it away. That will make it worse. Just think ‘Oh look. It’s that thought again. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s not me.’ Don’t attach significance to it. If it loses its power to be scary, it won’t hurt you anymore.”
― Lily Bailey, Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

“I am better. I don't know whether it's for good, or if one day something might make me abnormal again. But that's the funny thing about living. If you do it properly, you don't know how the next sentence will begin.”
― Lily Bailey, Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

“Do you think that I wake up in the morning and say, ‘You know what would be really fun, let’s spend hours and hours locked in my head, let’s not leave my room, and hey, while we’re at it, let’s cut out all the people who care, because there really is nothing better, no, I cannot think of anything I would like to do more,”
― Lily Bailey, Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

“TOILET: We came out the toilet, and Ellie was waiting outside the door to use it. We’d only done a pee, but suddenly we felt like we had done a huge shit and it was all over the whole toilet, the walls and the floor. We needed to go back and check. We couldn’t do that because that would look weird. We froze. Ellie raised an eyebrow. Did this whole interaction look odd? Was there actually shit everywhere?”
― Lily Bailey, Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

“takes a lot of energy to be a good person all the time and never show a trace of annoyance, and there are times, like just now, when my mask slips.”
― Lily Bailey, Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

“What I experience is so unlike the OCD people have on TV. Have they got it right?”
― Lily Bailey, Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

“There’s me, finally seen as I should be, twisted into something as monstrous as I feel.”
― Lily Bailey, Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

“She tells me that over time doing these lists will make us perfect, but it’s little consolation. Every day feels like an unrelenting slog of words generated, letters compiled, actions reviewed—with nothing to show for it but exhaustion and despair.”
― Lily Bailey, Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

“I feel so terrible.” “Why?” “For not noticing.” “You couldn’t have. I live my life trying to come across as normal. All my energy seems to go into making sure no one does notice anything at all. If you knew, that would have meant I’d failed.”
― Lily Bailey, Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

“I can actually follow the plot of TV programs now, and I no longer use books as masks—I read them like a normal person, just like you have read this. Which assumes you are normal; maybe you’re not. Maybe none of us are. Maybe none of us would want to be anyway. But, for the sake of argument, let’s call me normal now. I am better. I don’t know whether it’s for good, or if one day something might make me abnormal again. But that’s the funny thing about living. If you do it properly, you don’t know how the next sentence will begin.”
― Lily Bailey, Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

“I will miss Frankie. She was constant and unavoidable in a way even my routines couldn’t destroy. She fizzed with life and a lust for fun. She stretched her hand out to a version of myself I thought I’d lost forever, held me tight, and then, when I least expected it, pulled me back from the brink.”
― Lily Bailey, Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

“But she hasn’t done us a favour, because it is Classic FM, and they are playing fucking Vivaldi.”
― Lily Bailey, Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

“There must be a way of dealing with worries that doesn’t involve checking with everyone whether you have done something wrong. What could it be?”
― Lily Bailey, Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

“I have existed for 21 years. I didn't live them all, but from now on I am hoping to.”
― Lily Bailey, Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

“...Even though mental health is still the elephant in this room, the room is trying to accommodate the elephant, which is more than I expected.”
― Lily Bailey, Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

“I’d love to learn everything all over again, but learn it right this time. I’d love to return my brain to factory settings.”
― Lily Bailey, Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

“I suppose I should be thankful that if I have to go mad, at least I get to do it in a fashionable, aristocratic way.”
― Lily Bailey, Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

“Dean laughs. “He’s so cute! He’s walking between us like a little child!” I start to worry fervently that Dean might think I’ve trained Rocky to walk like this to convince him how nice it would be if we had children of our own, even though we’ve only met twice. I add MANIPULATIVE DOG OWNER to BITCH.”
― Lily Bailey, Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

“10:00 p.m.: the only person in the whole building who hasn’t gone bonkers kills themself. The other patients cheer . . .”
― Lily Bailey, Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

“It is not your fault,” she repeats. “It is not your fault.”
“I never want to talk about this again,” I say”
― Lily Bailey, Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

“They should bury me here, the place where I run until my heart beats apart from all the other noises, isolated like a drum removed from a score of hateful music I never wanted to play.”
― Lily Bailey, Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

“To love someone who is paid to be your friend is a terrible thing.”
― Lily Bailey, Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

“They should bury me here, the place where I run until my heart beats apart from all other noises, isolated like a drum removed from a score of hateful music I never wanted to play.”
― Lily Bailey, Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

“DO YOU THINK I WANT TO LIVE LIKE THIS? Do you think that I wake up in the morning and say, ‘You know what would be really fun, let’s spend hours and hours locked in my head, let’s not leave my room, and hey, while we’re at it, let’s cut out all the people who care, because there really is nothing better, no, I cannot think of anything I would like to do more, than to reject the perfect, happy life I could have, and choose instead to live stuck on repeat in my own private hell’?”
― Lily Bailey, Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

“Dr Finch has explained ‘cognitive dissonance’: where a person holds two contrary beliefs, such as ‘I know I have not taken out my needles’ and ‘My needles might be in with the clothes.”
― Lily Bailey, Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought

“I’d swelled up a storm that only I could see. Here’s to the strong ones. Here’s to the ones who never give up.”
― Lily Bailey, Because We Are Bad: OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought