The Boy Book Quotes

“We can't know or say what other people do. You have to think what you want to do to get the situation where you want it to be.”
― E. Lockhart, The Boy Book: A Study of Habits and Behaviors, Plus Techniques for Taming Them

“If you don't want to be in an argument with someone, it is probably best to try to solve the problem, rather than lying around hoping the other person will do it for you.”
― E. Lockhart, The Boy Book: A Study of Habits and Behaviors, Plus Techniques for Taming Them

“Because on some level, even though it never turns out to be true, and even though I should know better, I still expect life to be like the movies.”
― E. Lockhart, The Boy Book: A Study of Habits and Behaviors, Plus Techniques for Taming Them

“Singin' in the Rain was most excellent if you like movies where people burst into song and tap-dance. Which I do, though not as much as I like movies where people don't.”
― E. Lockhart, The Boy Book: A Study of Habits and Behaviors, Plus Techniques for Taming Them

“No matter how puny your frontal equipment, don't wear the kind with the giant pads inside. If a guy squeezes them, he will wonder why they feel like Nerf balls instead of boobs.”
― E. Lockhart, The Boy Book: A Study of Habits and Behaviors, Plus Techniques for Taming Them

“On the other hand, it's like we're three years old. You don't want that scruffy old teddy bear until your friend takes it and starts having a good time with it. Then suddenly it's the cutest bear you've ever seen, and you want to get it away from her.”
― E. Lockhart, The Boy Book: A Study of Habits and Behaviors, Plus Techniques for Taming Them

“But maybe I could be the wacky, unpredictable girl; the kind who always fascinates more conservative men in the movies.”
― E. Lockhart, The Boy Book: A Study of Habits and Behaviors, Plus Techniques for Taming Them

“We know what you are thinking. It is not girls who need lessons in how to talk on the telephone.
We are experts at it.
Some of us could even medal in it.
The problem is the boys. And they need to shape up.
True, true, true.
However.
The boys are not going to shape up. They are not going to read magazines or informational textbooks such as this one that tell them how to talk to girls on the telephone. And they are not going to magically figure out how to converse either. It is a demonstrated fact that even bona fide boyfriends such as Finn and Jackson and Kaleb are hit with paralyzing stupidity and boringness on the telephone, and you, my girlfriends, you are the only ones who can do anything about it.
Some tried-and-true tips
1. No feelings. Not if you can possibly avoid it. Feelings in person only.
2. No long silences. The male of the species hates long silences. If he is silent, say, “I gotta go, I’ll see you later.” And hang up. This is mysterious and alluring. And if it is not, at least you don’t have any more awkwardness.
3. Some people will tell you that you shouldn’t call guys, you should wait for them to call you. Hello? This is the twenty-first century. We can call them.
4. But have a reason. Don’t call “just to talk,” because they have nothing to talk about. Have a story to tell them, or ask if they watched some TV show just now, or ask about homework, or make a plan for the weekend.”
― E. Lockhart, The Boy Book: A Study of Habits and Behaviors, Plus Techniques for Taming Them

“And now, she was walking down the hall with her books clutched to her chest, looking down at the floor while guys called, "Don't hide that light under a bushel!”
― E. Lockhart, The Boy Book: A Study of Habits and Behaviors, Plus Techniques for Taming Them