Lovers' Tarot Quotes

“It’s been a gloomy spring in New York. We’ve had some late snow, and May has been rainy. It’s absolutely beautiful here. I won’t try to recapture the hours of conversation we had last night. The only thing that wasn’t the usual girl talk was BJ’s response to my David saga.”
― Robin Ader, Lovers' Tarot

“I ordered a headstone this morning: EVE KIDMAN 1899—1957 Beloved Wife to James Mother to Sasha Lover of Life Her Joy is Boundless. I chose to put that last statement in the present tense, for her joy is now mine and will live on.”
― Robin Ader, Lovers' Tarot

“I know it was all silly and that she couldn’t hear me, but I turned to a page in Eve’s diary and read Klara’s words. “While as a practical matter speaking to those who have passed is futile, it is not without value. Consider it a form of therapy, and allow people their irrationalities. Sometimes, from the deepest chasms of a mourner’s psyche, an answer to a question may materialize in their mind. It might be a response in the tone and meter of the deceased’s voice, the comfort from which will have healing qualities.”
― Robin Ader, Lovers' Tarot

“I have an appraisal,” she said, “and an offer for that amount. I’m perfectly satisfied with the deal we’ve made.” Monday, March 15, 1965 The papers were signed this morning. I’m the new mistress of Bridey’s Boarding House”
― Robin Ader, Lovers' Tarot

“I asked, “When did she get over him? I mean, when did she start seeing men again?” “Oh, she never got over James. I suspect that she held him dear to her heart until her last day. That’s why I’m so surprised she didn’t share that with you. The weekend she told me this story, she still silently, and very privately, mourned him, though she had already been with other men. “You were about four when she met a kind gentleman. He had patience and treated you well. He proposed to her. Every man that ever met Eve wanted to marry her.”
― Robin Ader, Lovers' Tarot

“Your mother said he was very funny. He gazed at her with his mouth open, turned pale, and sported a considerable member visible through his pants. Your mother excused herself before he spontaneously wet. I wouldn’t be surprised if he spent the rest of the day relieving himself to the mental vision of your naked mother.” He laughed.”
― Robin Ader, Lovers' Tarot

“My mind screamed, He would have cheated on me. If I would have married him, he would have come home with the stink of that tramp on him. I left the building, resigned never to set eyes on him again.”
― Robin Ader, Lovers' Tarot

“I found a photo of McDowell standing next to Patrick and me taken at an earlier dinner event. I stabbed a letter opener through his groin, and then tore his half of the picture into as many tiny, tiny pieces as I could. I don’t believe in Voodoo, but what the hell?”
― Robin Ader, Lovers' Tarot

“You can never know, no man can ever imagine what that is like. The physical part, the invasion and violation of the most personal parts of my body, that’s brutal. Unimaginable.”
― Robin Ader, Lovers' Tarot

“Well, to say we cried would be an understatement. She’s a wonderful woman, a great friend, and I will miss her. Bartender better make her happy or he’ll have me to answer to.”
― Robin Ader, Lovers' Tarot

“I won’t let tonight escape me. I’m ready for him. I want him. I want to keep him, to own him. I hope I don’t scare him, and he finds me an exciting lover.”
― Robin Ader, Lovers' Tarot

“Is that Eve with Hemingway?” he asked, holding the photo from the wall of Sloppy Joe’s. “They were friends, not lovers,” I said.”
― Robin Ader, Lovers' Tarot

“A young, handsome bank executive assisted me. He stared at my breasts so unabashedly I decided to exact revenge. When our business was done, we stood and I shook his hand. I put my left hand over the back of his, holding his hand with both of mine. I looked into his eyes, smiled and took a deep breath. I thanked him so very, very much for taking such good care of me. When I let go of his hand, he immediately sat down and slid his chair under his desk. I’m sure he had a raging erection. Yes, I’m a tease, but his riveted attention toward my bosom made him deserving of punishment.”
― Robin Ader, Lovers' Tarot

“I thought about him all day. Spontaneously laughing without any apparent prompt, my coworkers thought me drunk. That was the most fulfilling affair I’ve had. The sex was fantastic, and my feeling of affection for him as a man and my lover were perfectly balanced with an overarching detachment. Thank you again, Tom.”
― Robin Ader, Lovers' Tarot

“I’m not going to group your father in with all men, Patrick, but Eve had a strange power. She evoked vibrant sexual attraction. Few men, according to her diary, could resist her.” “That might have been her opinion of herself, but it’s rude of you to think that about my father.”
― Robin Ader, Lovers' Tarot

“I’ve come to the conclusion of Volume 1 of my journals, recalling my life up to just after my twenty-first birthday.”
― Robin Ader, Lovers' Tarot

“Eve wrote that she admonished her mentor, “For a person so adamantly against religion, you certainly quote the Bible a lot.” Klara replied, “Religion is what people have done to age-old wisdom in the quest for power. That does not diminish the value of the wisdom.”
― Robin Ader, Lovers' Tarot

“Then, all I could think of was Donnie. I prayed that it would be over in time for me to clean up and await Donnie’s arrival. I would act as if nothing happened. I could do that.”
― Robin Ader, Lovers' Tarot

“I guess it really doesn’t matter,” he said. “You say you’ve stopped traveling around and settled down. Right? You’re here. Right?” I understood his interest. “Yep. I’m here,” I said. I couldn’t have stopped smiling if I cut off a finger.”
― Robin Ader, Lovers' Tarot

“A large dog came running toward the fence as she parked her car in the driveway. To be that dog, I thought, entirely unaware of... anything.”
― Robin Ader, Lovers' Tarot

“My friend unashamedly lay flat on his back naked, displaying his penis as if he had won it in a competition. That’s bigger than pretty boy’s last night, I thought, though that’s no guarantee. First the cards then perhaps I’ll find out for myself. “You expecting company?” I asked. “Woman drives into town by herself and accepts a man’s invitation to his room. Kinda makes a guy think she’d like to be company.” In that instant, I realized I had made a mistake. Been too transparent, too easy. Still, I was encouraged to let the cards decide if this could turn to my advantage.”
― Robin Ader, Lovers' Tarot

“He looked at me. There was no question, he wanted me. I approached, told him I needed to be taken home. His home.”
― Robin Ader, Lovers' Tarot

“As my departure neared, I liquidated Nestor’s furnishings keeping only the bare essentials. I had a little over eighteen-hundred dollars in the bank; a newspaper article said the average annual income for a family of four was four-thousand dollars.”
― Robin Ader, Lovers' Tarot

“Eve taught me to look at the overall picture, to read the cards as art and intuition as much as a science. Women were more in touch with that innate sense than men. Women resonated with the cards. Rather than read the cards in order, I let the entire pattern seep in. I understood the 8 of Clubs and the Ace of Spades. The Queen of Diamonds, I sensed, would be a real person to provide the essentials of life. Then my heart sank when I saw the two Jacks, the Pretenders, the Liars who would upset my balance on the one hand, and try to exert power over me on the other. They framed the 2 of hearts. The Jacks would jeopardize my love life. I’d have to be wary in that domain. It had been quite a while since I had taken a lover. With this news, I would wait. I’d return to New York City, and meet two people who would be my Ace and my Queen. I took the calendar from the wall near the telephone, and sat down on Nestor’s chair. I stared at it, unbelieving; it had been six months since Nestor’s passing. I had spent half a year sorting through Nestor’s things, working, making no new friends, and taking no lovers. I had performed my duties, including marking the calendar mechanically. I operated in a daze. Several people had asked me if they could help. I didn’t understand, but now I knew. I had lost all sense of time and of myself, and I needed to rejoin life. My nineteenth birthday was just six months away. I would stay in Key West until then. In the interim, I would decide what I wanted to keep from Nestor’s legacy and, as he wished, place the rest.”
― Robin Ader, Lovers' Tarot

“The photo didn’t show the plunging back, down to the waist. Her partner would have his hand on her skin when they danced. I knew Eve loved that.”
― Robin Ader, Lovers' Tarot

“Nestor’s shrine to Eve, filled with items he could not abandon, cherished reminders of the glorious times he spent with her. After leaving behind our lives in an apartment in New York, I vowed I would save these special mementoes of both Eve and Nestor. I wrapped my mother’s dressing robe around me. I removed each item struggling to imagine its significance then replaced it.”
― Robin Ader, Lovers' Tarot

“I put my head lightly on his chest, hugged him, and bawled. He stroked my hair. When I’d gain some semblance of control, it would last only a few moments, and then I’d have another fit of despair. I had grown to love him as my father. I cried for misleading him. He had a right to know, but if there was a higher power, as Klara believed, then soon enough he’d understand why I did what I did.”
― Robin Ader, Lovers' Tarot

“As I lay on my cot, I recalled a passage from the diary. Klara spoke of the 3 as her favorite card. It represents the human triumvirate of mind, body, and spirit—or soul. She spoke of the needs of the mind, including the stimulation of good books and intellectual conversation. To be aware of one’s world, to understand its “machinations” as she called it. To perceive the good and the bad in the dealings with people was paramount. Second, Klara emphasized the needs of the body, proper health, exercise, and nutrition as fundamental to her philosophy of life. Critical were frequent sexual fulfillment along with good food, wine, and spirits. Finally, the soul demands that one extend compassion and kindness to other people. She rejected the idea that people were placed on the Earth by a magical entity who doomed us to suffer, laboring under the hopes that a reward might come in an afterlife. “Only people can create heaven, and we do that by taking care of one another,” Eve had quoted Klara.”
― Robin Ader, Lovers' Tarot

“I know. I know. Klara. She planted those ideas in her head years before. Eve was the freest of spirits. You can’t catch the wind.”
― Robin Ader, Lovers' Tarot

“Nestor and I retired before midnight, so I welcomed 1959 at sunrise.”
― Robin Ader, Lovers' Tarot