Get Lucky Quotes

“I’m not going to prison,” I blurt out. “I’m too soft. I watched Orange is the New Black. I don’t want to eat tampon sandwiches.”
― Lila Monroe, Get Lucky

“They put me in jail. Holy shit. They put me in fucking jail. Call my mother and tell her I love her, call my father and tell him I can’t loan him any more money, call my grandmother and tell her she needs to stop day drinking. I am never getting out of this. All right, on the plus side, it’s not like I’m sitting in a city jail. It’s a hotel holding room, which basically means beige-colored carpet with beige walls and a beige futon. In Vegas, if they put you in beige, you are seriously fucked. No sequins or rhinestones anywhere means I must have done something abominable. Okay. I take three deep breaths, trying to achieve my zone neutrality. Or something. I don’t know! Okay, keep calm, Julia. Maybe they can help. Maybe they can help piece together whatever insane stuff you did last night. Or rather, the weird shit that your David Tennant personality did. On second thought, maybe talking about Doctor Who would be a very bad thing right now. The door opens, and Gray Suit— his name’s actually Todd, but I’m sticking with Gray Suit— enters and sits down in a chair opposite me. “Now Ms. Stevens—” “I’m not going to prison,” I blurt out. “I’m too soft. I watched Orange is the New Black. I don’t want to eat tampon sandwiches.” Gray Suit blinks slowly. “Okay. I’ll bear that in mind.” “Look, what the hell am I even doing here?” I snap. Great, Julia. Get snippy with the authorities. This’ll go down swimmingly. “What is happening?” Gray Suit sighs. “It’s about what you did last night, Ms. Stevens.”
― Lila Monroe, Get Lucky

“I’m a goddess right now; everyone should come and offer gifts of chocolate and mojitos. That’s my currency.”
― Lila Monroe, Get Lucky

“If Mr. Darcy was a modern man with a rolling suitcase, a stick shoved way up his ass, and no actual redeemable qualities, he might be this guy.”
― Lila Monroe, Get Lucky

“I find it hard to tear my gaze away from that that fantastic ass.”
― Lila Monroe, Get Lucky

“Ah well. When in Vegas, ignore the douches, let the good times roll, and always carry a spare set of panties in your purse, just in case. That’s what Mom used to tell me.”
― Lila Monroe, Get Lucky

“Oh, fuck me. And not in the nice way, where I have two orgasms and someone makes me breakfast in the morning.”
― Lila Monroe, Get Lucky

“You have more fun with her than you do on your own. Everything’s an adventure. You’re compatible in the ways that matter. The sex is hot. And you trust that she’ll be next to you, no matter what happens.”
― Lila Monroe, Get Lucky

“Opportunity knocks. And when it doesn’t knock, it kicks down the fucking door and robs you at gunpoint,” Meredith says,”
― Lila Monroe, Get Lucky

“You make my nerd heart sad, young Padawan.”
― Lila Monroe, Get Lucky

“goddamn”
― Lila Monroe, Get Lucky

“saboteur”
― Lila Monroe, Get Lucky

“Horseshit? Fuck you. I will defend my Belle and Mulan awesome warrior princess road comedy fan fiction to the fucking death.”
― Lila Monroe, Get Lucky

“I groan as I flip on the lights and rush into the bathroom. I need a shower. That’s it. A good hot shower will stop the pounding headache. I look at the mirror over the sink, grimacing at my smeared eye makeup. Then, just to make sure, I pull down my skirt, turn around, and bam. Tattooed TARDIS, right square over my ass. My Whovian heart has led me astray at last .”
― Lila Monroe, Get Lucky

“Sex, Lies, and Superspies”
― Lila Monroe, Get Lucky

“I’m a goddess right now; everyone should come and offer gifts of chocolate and mojitos. That’s my currency. “Do”
― Lila Monroe, Get Lucky

“The dude sits up, groaning and rubbing his head. Then he says, in a perfectly normal American accent, “The fuck is wrong with you people? Jesus, I think I got a lump the size of a goddamn egg.”
― Lila Monroe, Get Lucky

“Can we get them some ring pops, like in the proposal scene in Deadpool? Will I have to carry them down the aisle clenched in my ass, just like in Deadpool? Why the fuck am I thinking about Deadpool so much? Besides the fact that that movie is perfect, I mean. Mike”
― Lila Monroe, Get Lucky

“It’s not my name. It’s Lola Sinclair’s name. And right underneath, beside Groom . . . . “Peyton Manning?” I say, looking up at Nate in bewilderment. He nods. “The man is a fucking god. You can’t blame me for wanting to be him for one drunken night, even in a Las Vegas wedding chapel.”
― Lila Monroe, Get Lucky

“I could ride his tongue for hours, but then his fingers are back, pushing, thrusting, and I could ride those, too. Especially when his mouth returns to my clit, circling and sucking.”
― Lila Monroe, Get Lucky

“You partook of my virtue, m’lord,” I say, not meeting his eyes. When I get nervous, I go straight to Renaissance Faire speak. It’s just easier to handle reality when I imagine I’m in a corset with a turkey drumstick, I guess.”
― Lila Monroe, Get Lucky

“Oh, fuck me. And not in the nice way, where I have two orgasms and someone makes me breakfast in the morning. The door opens, and Mike and that douche lizard Nate Wexler get out.”
― Lila Monroe, Get Lucky

“I like to think of it as ‘I’m trying to keep us calm.’ You’re dead certain we’re headed to Alcatraz.”

“Alcatraz isn’t a functioning prison anymore,” I say.

“You’re a functioning prison,” she says.

“That doesn’t make sense!”

“Neither does splashing and frolicking and groping your dick in the Bellagio fountain, but in case you hadn’t noticed, there’s a whole buffet of doesn’t make sense going on right now. So load up your plate, grab the crab legs before they run out, and eat.”
― Lila Monroe, Get Lucky

“Meredith Chambers, hottest romance agent in New York, filthiest mouth east of the Mississippi. Or west, come to think of it. Some women walking by give her a shocked, slightly annoyed expression. She responds with aplomb. “Legs together, ladies. I’m not afraid of a little muff diving.”
― Lila Monroe, Get Lucky

“We’ll have a ton of fun tracking down whatever insane shit we did last night. A regular Nick and Nora Charles, that’s us. Except without the insane amount of drinking and the murder mystery. Well. Without one of those things.”
― Lila Monroe, Get Lucky

“It’s like the cast of The Office suddenly decided to go into the kidnapping business.”
― Lila Monroe, Get Lucky

“He’s kind of adorable in a frisky puppy sort of way.”
― Lila Monroe, Get Lucky

“Meredith Chambers, hottest romance agent in New York, filthiest mouth east of the Mississippi. Or west, come to think of it. Some”
― Lila Monroe, Get Lucky

“And when I say extraordinary, I mean tacky beyond all reason. Brightly”
― Lila Monroe, Get Lucky

“No, doofus. It’s the rebel alliance symbol from Star Wars.” Holy shit. I’ve been branded a nerd.”
― Lila Monroe, Get Lucky