Howling at the Moon Quotes

“Tell me, Atlas.
What is heavier:

The world or its people's hearts?

— Atlas still stands but does anyone else?”
― Darshana Suresh, Howling at the Moon

“For every second you thought you wouldn't make it.
For every second you didn't want to make it.
You made it.
Thank you for existing (so beautifully).”
― Darshana Suresh, Howling at the Moon

“There are so many good things
in this world,
and every one starts and
ends in your eyes.”
― Darshana Suresh, Howling at the Moon

“My body has always been
a question mark,

never quite knowing what it
means

to be alive.”
― Darshana Suresh, Howling at the Moon

“I'm sorry that when you say 'love', I
always hear
'heartbreak'.”
― Darshana Suresh, Howling at the Moon

“Your name
fit into my mouth
better than my own ever has.

Like I was
born to speak it.”
― Darshana Suresh, Howling at the Moon

“A HOW-TO ON DISAPPEARING

No one understands the way we break.
Not jagged. Not knife sliding between ribs.
Not the spine, cracking.

That would be too easy.

That would be being able to know that
you're broken. That would be X-rays
showing the gaps, the fissures.
Clean breaks are easier to heal.
We do not break cleanly.

We break without breaking.
Not a crack, but a fog.
We dissipate.
Body here one moment and
not here the next.

Hands working one moment and
a dead weight the next.

We watch ourselves turn
colourless. Watch ourselves
become invisible / invincible.

This way, at least the pain is our own.
That's what I wanted all along, I guess.”
― Darshana Suresh, Howling at the Moon

“I'm sorry I flinch when you say
you care.
Sorry I turn myself bullet
when you try to touch my hand,
sorry I go wolf when
you give me broken teeth.”
― Darshana Suresh, Howling at the Moon

“i am too small
for this love,

i am too small
for my
own skin.

somedays i wake
and cannot
find myself
in my
body anymore.”
― Darshana Suresh, Howling at the Moon

“I'm crying.
The man on the moon
touches my cheek and says,
'it's okay.' He says,
'you did it. You're doing it.'

I say, 'no, no,
I'm not okay.'

The moon holds my hands,
softly.
Like a mother.

But you're here,
it says.
You're here.”
― Darshana Suresh, Howling at the Moon

“in my dreams i know what
to do with my hands.

i do not lock them up in a
cardboard box. i do not lock
myself up
in a paper house too ready to catch on fire.”
― Darshana Suresh, Howling at the Moon

“The children want to destroy this hungry, angry,
growing thing in them, but it's becoming
harder to separate that thing from who
they were Before.

So they live with it / become better at hiding it /
start pretending that the year it all went wrong
never really existed.

It's easier that way, anyway.”
― Darshana Suresh, Howling at the Moon

“don't you see how
hard speaking is for me?
how hard
breathing is?

don't you see that
I'm a negative space
cut from the
universe and
when you ask
me to breathe
i am trying to
will myself
into
being?”
― Darshana Suresh, Howling at the Moon

“She asks me how my heart is,
and I say, 'beating.'
That's never the answer you want, and I am sorry about that.”
― Darshana Suresh, Howling at the Moon

“Two oceans away, a boy is falling in love.
Next door, another boy i just falling.
One is laughing, one is crying -
both are screaming.”
― Darshana Suresh, Howling at the Moon

“Tell me about how no one looks at you like art so you have learnt to treat yourself like a masterpiece.”
― Darshana Suresh, Howling at the Moon

“Love is the way your body fights to keep you alive. Day”
― Darshana Suresh, Howling at the Moon

“Your own hands falling out to catch you
before you hit the ground. All the ways
you save yourself even when you
don't want to.

Love is the way your body fights to
keep you alive.
Day after day after day.”
― Darshana Suresh, Howling at the Moon

“It's just— eggshell love. Like
birds sitting on a power line. One misstep
and suddenly, everything is burning.
I don't want to set things on fire
anymore.

That's all. That's all.”
― Darshana Suresh, Howling at the Moon

“in my dreams, the sun does
not
blind me.

i leave the house (white converse
laced tight, hair tied with a ribbon)
and my body remains that.
my body
stays
a body.
doesn't become a shadow /
a ghost / a whisper.
my body stays
solid.”
― Darshana Suresh, Howling at the Moon

“The messages pile up,
The worry knocks at
my door, louder & louder.
More calls from the therapist.
Pills that should have been
taken lie scattered across the floor.
The moon taps at my window.
Stars spell out their concern.

I pretend I do not see.”
― Darshana Suresh, Howling at the Moon

“I just don't feel like me anymore,
&
it's not fair to answer the phone
when
the person they're looking for is
no longer
in this body, when the girl they
all used
to love looks more wolf than girl
now.”
― Darshana Suresh, Howling at the Moon

“You know, I can't leave when I'm
not
actually here in the first place.”
― Darshana Suresh, Howling at the Moon

“as though talking
should be something
that comes to me
as easily as breathing
i went home that day
and cried for hours,
beat my fist against
the mirror until
the glass
ran together
with my tears.”
― Darshana Suresh, Howling at the Moon

“Every autumn I
take myself into my arms
and kiss my palms
for making it through another
year.”
― Darshana Suresh, Howling at the Moon

“Her staring at you like you hung the stars in the sky when she thinks you’re not looking. Like the moon is made up of every breath that leaves your chest. This”
― Darshana Suresh, Howling at the Moon

“Like you're taking the universe by the
throat and saying, look, I know I
can never be as big as you, but you
sure as hell can't stop me from trying.

Like taking the sadness and wringing
it out and saying, look, I know
you won't leave me alone, but you
sure as hell can't stop me living.”
― Darshana Suresh, Howling at the Moon

“The lonely? Where's that from?

Sadness' best friend. Sadness brought
it along and I couldn't turn it away, so
I let it multiply in my pulse instead.”
― Darshana Suresh, Howling at the Moon

“This morning I got out
of bed and suddenly
I felt like I was choking
(on the world /
on my future /
on the orange sky /
on every person
who said they cared).

I brushed my teeth
then crawled right
back into bed again.

That's it.
The relief was poetry.”
― Darshana Suresh, Howling at the Moon

“i'm sorry that
'okay'
has become
such a
foreign
concept.”
― Darshana Suresh, Howling at the Moon