Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior Quotes

“there’s probably a charged creeper lumberjack.”
― Cube Kid, Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior: From Seeds to Swords

“Something moaned so loud out there I had trouble sleeping when I went back home.”
― Cube Kid, Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior: From Seeds to Swords

“Man, what are you guys? The Three Muskanoobs?”
― Cube Kid, Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior: From Seeds to Swords

“Herobrine can eat a fermented potato.”
― Cube Kid, Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior: From Seeds to Swords

“Skeleton librarians. Enderman shepherds.”
― Cube Kid, Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior: From Seeds to Swords

“Golden Rule #17 Don’t mine stone with your bare hands. Long, long ago, there was a noob named Steven. He harvested wood with his bare hands because he thought using tools was a waste of resources. Why reduce tool durability? Why bother crafting axes at all? Steven’s hands had no durability, as far as he knew. Even if it took him longer to chop down trees this way, he could save materials. He could punch and punch all day and never waste any crafting tools. Steven was the kind of guy who, after loaning his best friend a wooden sword six months earlier, would ask for exactly one stick and two oak planks to be returned. Once, Steven and two friends bought a cake together. The cake cost six emeralds and was cut into six slices. That meant each person had to pay two emeralds. However, one of Steven’s cake slices was slightly smaller than the rest, so he argued that he should have to pay only 1.75 emeralds instead.”
― Cube Kid, Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior: From Seeds to Swords

“Max wasn’t kidding when he said he had Potions of Invisibility. He’d been stockpiling them. I didn’t ask where he’d gotten so many golden nuggets. Even a single potion had a pretty steep price—eight per potion, plus a fermented spider eye—yet Max handed me five without batting an eye.”
― Cube Kid, Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior: From Seeds to Swords

“The sweat on my brow? I was just sweating in advance, simply forcing my body to cool itself for the possible heated battle ahead. My face was pale because it was trying to blend in with the cobblestone wall behind me. That’s ninja stuff right there. As for my scrunched-up mouth, um . . . I was about to make a really scary battle cry. No scared villager here.”
― Cube Kid, Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior: From Seeds to Swords

“Pebble”
― Cube Kid, Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior: From Seeds to Swords

“Express.”
― Cube Kid, Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior: From Seeds to Swords

“mob,”
― Cube Kid, Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior: From Seeds to Swords

“If my life hit bedrock yesterday, then today, it somehow broke”
― Cube Kid, Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior: From Seeds to Swords

“Astoundingly, preposterously, ridiculously, improbably, absurdly, fantastically, wonderfully, unbelievably, amazingly, impossibly, astonishingly brilliant.”
― Cube Kid, Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior: From Seeds to Swords

“All you have to do is crouch while holding onto the ladder.”
― Cube Kid, Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior: From Seeds to Swords

“how to never fall off a ladder.”
― Cube Kid, Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior: From Seeds to Swords

“By the way, I named my pet slime Jello. I heard Steve talking about Jell-O the other day. Apparently, it’s an Earth food that resembles slime. I figured it’d be a good name. Of course, I have to tell Steve about Jello at some point. I know that. Until then, I emptied out my double chest, and it now serves as Jello’s, uh, bed, or house, or cage, or whatever. Jello calmed down a few minutes after I picked it up. Now it doesn’t even mind staying in the chest with the lid closed. Sit! Stand! Roll over! Good boy! Now, split into a bunch of smaller slimes! Wait. Baby slimes can’t do that, can they?”
― Cube Kid, Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior: From Seeds to Swords

“get it, Urf. You’re angry at Steve
for taking your job.”
― Cube Kid, Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior: From Seeds to Swords

“real mobs. I ran over to his house, but he didn’t want to talk. “I can’t say anything more about those trees,” he said. “Mayor’s orders.” “I’m not here for that,” I said. “Will you please come look at something? It’s really—” “Not tonight,” he replied. “I’m starving. Not only do I have a growling stomach, but also my hunger bar is low. I’m still trying to accept this hunger bar, floating in the bottom of my vision as if it were part of a HUD in a computer game, as reality.” “You mean people on Earth don’t have hunger bars?” “No, Runt. People on Earth don’t have hunger bars. They don’t have anything floating in their vision. Speaking of hunger bars . . . would you like to join me for dinner?” I glanced at the mushroom stew on his table. “Niiuuuuuuu.” “Really? You sure?” “NNNNNooooo. Nonono.” I ran out of Steve’s house before I grew more nauseated. I didn’t even say good-bye.”
― Cube Kid, Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior: From Seeds to Swords

“Now, I was sitting on my bed last night, and for the first time, I heard some kind of noise coming from the direction of the box. It wasn’t too loud. It was like a little squeaking sound. At first, I just wanted the noise to go away. Then I realized . . . it wouldn’t go away. Whatever it was, that mob was going to stay in that little room forever and ever. Or at least until someone let it out. I decided that someone should be Steve. It was time to tell him about . . .”
― Cube Kid, Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior: From Seeds to Swords

“Burninator.” His face was covered in redstone dust. Stump was baking with his parents. His face was covered with the various ingredients required to craft a cake.”
― Cube Kid, Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior: From Seeds to Swords

“he didn’t want to damage the sapling’s roots. He probably had a respectable Farming score. Mobs!! With Farming scores?!?!”
― Cube Kid, Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior: From Seeds to Swords

“Boom”
― Cube Kid, Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior: From Seeds to Swords

“GIMME THAT CARROT”
― Cube Kid, Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior: From Seeds to Swords

“Steve the Noob,”
― Cube Kid, Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior: From Seeds to Swords

“First, let me show you the blueprints of my house.”
― Cube Kid, Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior: From Seeds to Swords

“farting/”
― Cube Kid, Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior: From Seeds to Swords

“fermented potato.”
― Cube Kid, Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior: From Seeds to Swords

“I’m stuck with Weirdostalkergirl, The Great Bearded Noob, and Princess Hissyfit McCrybaby. Good thing I like a challenge, eh? Stump arguably has it worse, however. He’s grouped with Bumbi, who is currently the lowest-level student in the whole school. Apparently, he still has a combat score of 1. How is that even possible? A door has more than that.”
― Cube Kid, Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior: From Seeds to Swords

“The Scrooge McDuck of Minecraftia. Minus the huge pile of gold, the black top hat, and the general appearance of a cranky, humanoid duck.”
― Cube Kid, Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior: From Seeds to Swords

“Come on, who’s afraid of a little poison? Poison that makes your health bar tick all the way down until you have only half a heart left and you’re so low that even a chicken could finish you off and the whole time you’re writhing in pain, shivering? Who’s afraid of that? Not me.”
― Cube Kid, Diary of an 8-Bit Warrior: From Seeds to Swords