Tapping the Billionaire Quotes

“My heart in your hands and you in my arms, that’s all I’ll ever need.”
― Max Monroe, Tapping the Billionaire

“I couldn’t help myself. This woman whom I’d seen handle an entire boardroom full of cocky sons of bitches without batting an eye was crazy adorable. She was tough as nails and hotter than sin. And Christ, she was hilarious. I wanted more of her. A lot fucking more.”
― Max Monroe, Tapping the Billionaire

“I know you’re not ready to hear what I’m feeling, but just know, for me, tonight was more. It was everything.”
― Max Monroe, Tapping the Billionaire

“This vodka is delicious. Not very strong, though.” “That’s because it’s water.” “Hmmmph.”
― Max Monroe, Tapping the Billionaire

“Oh no, I think Boobear is hurt.” It took some serious thinking, but I finally decoded the mystery. “Do you mean Boudmare?” “Yeah, that’s him. His nickname is Boobear.” “The commentators are calling him Boobear?” I asked, fighting a smile. “No, I nicknamed him Boobear. He looks like a giant teddy bear. He’s so cute!” “Oh, dear God,” Thatch groaned. “Oh,”
― Max Monroe, Tapping the Billionaire

“With the way I craved her company, I planned to enroll her in the accelerated education program and keep her there until she had me mastered.”
― Max Monroe, Tapping the Billionaire

“Kline Brooks left his new intern, Leslie, under my watchful eye while he flew out to L.A. for the day to schmooze investors and impress potential advertising clients for TapNext. I was certain she had been sent straight from Hell. The devil might as well have wrapped a big red bow around her neck and attached a note. Dear Georgie, Have fun with this one. Love, Satan I’d”
― Max Monroe, Tapping the Billionaire

“The world is small, baby. But love is large. Big enough that coincidence occasionally rubs elbows with opportunity.”
― Max Monroe, Tapping the Billionaire

“Some days, adulting was too much responsibility. Get up for work. Brush your hair. Pay bills. It was an endless list of too many things and not enough time. The struggle was real, my friends. But”
― Max Monroe, Tapping the Billionaire

“What am I gonna do with me?” she whispered. “So lost in you.”
― Max Monroe, Tapping the Billionaire

“You’re like two fucking catfish, sitting at the bottom of the lake, doing fish shit and stuff.”
― Max Monroe, Tapping the Billionaire

“couldn’t help but think, if I only made bad decisions for the rest of my life, at least I had made one really good decision with her.”
― Max Monroe, Tapping the Billionaire

“And how do you know he has a big dick? You’ve seen him once. And it was a five-second ‘Oh, that’s my boss, Kline’ conversation while we were walking across the parking lot. You haven’t even met him in person.”

“Five seconds is all I need.” She tapped the side of her head. “You know my cockdar is off the chain. I can sense a giant swinging penis pendulum from at least ten miles away. It’s a God-given talent, Georgie.”

I choked on my wine. “Let’s not bring God into this.”

She raised an eyebrow. “God knows the G-spot needs a more than adequate-sized wiener to get the job done.”

“I’m pretty sure that comment just got you wait-listed for heaven.”
― Max Monroe, Tapping the Billionaire

“I might as well have offered up my vagina to the Museum of Natural History. Surely, it would be shown in the fossils display. I could already picture it, right beside Tyrannosaurus Rex’s teeth. The Last Virginal Vagina in New York. Georgia Cummings 1990-2080 Died happily in her Chelsea apartment, surrounded by all sixteen of her tabby cats.”
― Max Monroe, Tapping the Billionaire

“My heart in your hands and you in my arms, that's all I'll ever need.”
― Max Monroe, Tapping the Billionaire

“His blue eyes twinkled like actual glitter. Like he went to Michael’s, got a jar of it, and then poured it in his irises. “Ohhh,”
― Max Monroe, Tapping the Billionaire

“If I was a bird, Kline Brooks could go fuck himself.”
― Max Monroe, Tapping the Billionaire

“Holy fucking goat scrotums!”
― Max Monroe, Tapping the Billionaire

“Therefore, my snooze button was ridden hard and put away extremely wet. Every”
― Max Monroe, Tapping the Billionaire

“But, Georgie, you work for a company that specializes in an app called TapNext, not the White House.” After a brief beat of silence, we laughed at the same time, and I raised one eyebrow in question. “You’re comparing TapNext to the White House?” “You’re right,” she agreed. “Bad analogy. There’s probably more dick pics there.”
― Max Monroe, Tapping the Billionaire

“I'm going to kill her."
"Any particular reason you're plotting her murder?"
"She's eating everyone's food, including mine! She ate my cheesecake and my goddamn yogurt!" I gestured wildly, flinging my hands into the air. "Do you know why she's doing this? She thought people were being totes adorbs and naming the food."
"Leslie didn't realize the names on food meant it belonged to someone?"
"Today, she enjoyed a turkey sandwich named Gary. And a yogurt and piece of motherfucking cheesecake named Georgia. She thought it was like, the cutest thing ever how her coworkers were naming food. She's too dumb to live. Literally.”
― Max Monroe, Tapping the Billionaire

“Isn’t there anyone else you can bug? I’m probably not the best person for the job.” The last football game I’d watched had been the Super Bowl where Janet Jackson’s nipple had made its television debut, and I could honestly have told you more about her areola than the game. I literally knew zilch about sports, especially football. “Please,”
― Max Monroe, Tapping the Billionaire

“Good morning, lovely Meryl.” She clicked her tongue. “You better find some other roll to butter up, Mr. Brooks. It may be early, but my allowance of saturated fats is all used up for the day.”
― Max Monroe, Tapping the Billionaire

“I wasn't a fan of pussy roulette, and when I ate one, I wanted to be able to remember the taste. - Kline. well damn!”
― Max Monroe, Tapping the Billionaire

“Me: I don’t know, but if you don’t end this soon, I will murder Gary with my pen.”
― Max Monroe, Tapping the Billionaire

“He had thanked me for letting him go down on me. I’d never claimed to be a genius, but I was pretty sure Kline Brooks had just wham, bam, and you can thank me, ma’amed me.”
― Max Monroe, Tapping the Billionaire

“My Ren & Stimpy reference wasn’t all that funny when written in the center of someone’s CONDOLENCE CARD.

“Fucking Leslie,” I spat. “She threw a bunch of cards on my desk and said they were birthday cards.”

Dean proceeded to lose his shit, his cackling laughs echoing inside my office.

I glared at him. “It’s not that funny.”

“Oh, hell yes it is. You referenced Ren & Stimpy on a sympathy card,” he wheezed.

Seriously, fuck you, Leslie. Fuck you, hard.

I was convinced I could blame her for everything wrong in my life.

Lost my keys? Goddammit, Leslie!

Missed the subway? Fuck you very much, Leslie.

Another awful dick pic sent to my phone? You’re such an asshole, Leslie.”
― Max Monroe, Tapping the Billionaire

“Boobear. He plays on the orange team,” she repeated as though it made sense. “Oh no, I think Boobear is hurt.” It”
― Max Monroe, Tapping the Billionaire

“She should decide what she really wants without being influenced by social norms or penis peer pressure. “You’re”
― Max Monroe, Tapping the Billionaire

“Or you can get some tits and go in there and demand a re-do.” “A”
― Max Monroe, Tapping the Billionaire