Please Don't Tell My Parents I've Got Henchmen Quotes

“Tell a computer that it's five o'clock or ten fifty seven, and it doesn't care. Tell it that it's ninety-nine thousand AD, and it gets very upset. Tell it that time has stopped, and it has conniptions.”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I've Got Henchmen

“ride goes before a fall. Actually, the real quote is 'Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.' Mrs. Normandy in the 7th grade had a real pet peeve about misused quotes, and drilled that one into us mercilessly.”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I've Got Henchmen

“HA HA HA HA HA! I, Penelope…”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I've Got Henchmen

“Yes, cower! If you simpletons truly understood what you have just seen, you would be down on your knees worshipping me! HA! HA HA HA HA HA!”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I've Got Henchmen

“I had a chance to start a sentence with 'So, there I was.”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I've Got Henchmen

“sighed, smirking and rolling her eyes in friendly, amused exasperation. Grabbing his shirt, she pulled him up to her. His hands caught her shoulders, pulling her even closer. They kissed. It was definitely not one-sided, or platonic. Wow. Um. When they let go, Will gave me a playful nod. “I've got a job to do.” He ran off so fast that he almost disappeared. All he left was the little white fortune card, fluttering to the floor. Cassie crouched down to pick it up. With that same bland, cynical smirk she looked at it, then flipped it around in her fingers for me to read: 'In six minutes, you will kiss the girl standing next to you.”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I've Got Henchmen

“was the time to ask him out, if there ever was one. “What time is it?” I said out loud. Penelope Akk, legendary supervillain and absolute romantic failure.”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I've Got Henchmen

“Heh heh heh heh heh.”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I've Got Henchmen

“got a different table on the other side of the restaurant with her back facing us. She couldn't fool me. She was videotaping us with her phone. What she thought we would try in a restaurant, I have no idea. When I began to flip through the small, padded menu, Ray said, “Order anything you like. I'm paying.” “You don't have to,” I said automatically. He looked at me through his fake glasses, and his smile was weird. Too emotional to be Ray, but that kind of was Ray, so much thinking behind a mask of laughter, breaking out in bursts of caring beyond anything I could manage. He reached”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I've Got Henchmen

“Destroying walls and stealing rare artifacts is one thing. People forgive. I'll make eternal enemies if I mess up people's hair and they have to cut some off.”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I've Got Henchmen

“Eye busted out laughing. “I just- you guys- that word is crazy. I'm getting so many definitions. 'The sideways people language.' 'The not gods language.' Okay, wait. The Eye settled on 'The language of the people who were made like the first people who created our people, but are not the first people and instead live alongside but separated from our people.”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I've Got Henchmen

“a computer that it's five o'clock or ten fifty seven, and it doesn't care. Tell it that it's ninety-nine thousand AD, and it gets very upset. Tell it that time has stopped, and it has conniptions.”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I've Got Henchmen

“the writing on the walls was creepy, including the sentence 'All of this writing on the walls is creepy.' I must”
― Richard Roberts, Please Don't Tell My Parents I've Got Henchmen