Two Captains, One Chair Quotes

“Despite being thrown like a bad romance novel and then rammed like a castle gate, his movements were spry.”
― Shaye Marlow, Two Captains, One Chair

“Oh, shit, he was staring at my dick. “Ed, it’s not what it looks like,” I said.”
― Shaye Marlow, Two Captains, One Chair

“Ugh, I’d tried to flirt with Ed with a big, fat Band-Aid on my forehead.  I probably looked like the Alaskan Bush version of Frankenstein, except, of course, Alaskan Frankenstein would have been put together with duct tape and zip ties.  Maybe I should have directed Ed to my duct tape drawer.”
― Shaye Marlow, Two Captains, One Chair

“Injuries were pretty common in the Alaskan bush.  Here, life is a contact sport.”
― Shaye Marlow, Two Captains, One Chair

“Then Zack cannonballed through one of my taped windows.  He rolled, scrambled to his hands and knees, and sprinted toward the river. Mimi vaulted out the window after him, her form champion jumper perfect.”
― Shaye Marlow, Two Captains, One Chair

“Mimi took off at a dead run across the yard.  She took the stairs in a running leap, and shot through her dog door. From inside, I heard a scream.  Panicked shouting.  Through the screen, and my multiple broken windows, I heard clattering.  Glass breaking.  There was heavy thumping as if someone were running up my stairs.  Another shriek.  The plastic taped over my windows billowed.”
― Shaye Marlow, Two Captains, One Chair

“Those… troll-licking ass-munches,” I spat.  Forget the hot blonds.  They’d crossed the line.  Again.”
― Shaye Marlow, Two Captains, One Chair

“Cooking me dinner was something I’d demanded of them, but cooking my favorite?  And accompanying it by Adele?  And candles?  And shoulder rubs?  And now, suggesting my favorite TV series?  And cuddling?”
― Shaye Marlow, Two Captains, One Chair

“He’d spent five years in jail for robbery in his youth, which made him an obvious suspect.  I’d also heard that his penis curved pretty impressively to the right.”
― Shaye Marlow, Two Captains, One Chair

“was already walking away.  Toward the bar.  Which sat atop an illegal fight club. ”
― Shaye Marlow, Two Captains, One Chair

“started missing him the moment I stepped”
― Shaye Marlow, Two Captains, One Chair