The Mom Factor Quotes

“In a healthy relationship, each partner is responsible for his own feelings, attitudes, behaviors, and choices. And each partner holds the other responsible for such things.”
― Henry Cloud, The Mom Factor: Dealing with the Mother You Had, Didn't Have, or Still Contend With

“we need people to whom we can talk and who will understand without invalidating our feelings by saying the following: You shouldn’t feel that way. It’s not that bad. You’re overreacting. Don’t be so sensitive. Where’s your faith? Instead, they say, I understand. That really sounds sad. What a terrible feeling! Oh, I’m sorry you went through that.”
― Henry Cloud, The Mom Factor: Dealing with the Mother You Had, Didn't Have, or Still Contend With

“God has built emotions into our personalities for a reason: they are a signal. Much like a barometer measures atmospheric pressure, emotions work as a gauge to tell us the state of our soul.”
― Henry Cloud, The Mom Factor: Dealing with the Mother You Had, Didn't Have, or Still Contend With

“A child cannot tolerate a mother’s anger. She either splits from the relationship, or she becomes terrified. Neither alternative promotes freedom and individuality. Independence, as we mentioned above, needs to be fostered, not attacked by mother. She has the power to send one of two messages: “Your individuality is loved,” or “Your individuality is my enemy, and I will destroy it.” A child cannot stand up to that kind of attack and develop in the way that she needs to.”
― Henry Cloud, The Mom Factor: Dealing with the Mother You Had, Didn't Have, or Still Contend With

“When we fail to express our needs, we remain islands unto ourselves—detached, alone, arrogant, and proud. But when we expose our needs, we are able to receive the supplies and nurture necessary for survival.”
― Henry Cloud, The Mom Factor: Dealing with the Mother You Had, Didn't Have, or Still Contend With

“человек, признающий свои ошибки, всегда оказывается лучшим родителем, чем тот, кто сваливает их на других.”
― Генри Клауд, The Mom Factor

“relationships. We always have some responsibility in choosing love or isolation, life or death, light or darkness, and truth or deception. The older we are, the more responsibility we bear. We need to embrace that responsibility and not be afraid of the task. How we conduct our lives is our affair. The buck truly does stop with us. We must stop denying our issues and blaming mom, God, circumstances, or others. We must begin the long journey of repair for ourselves.”
― Henry Cloud, The Mom Factor: Dealing with the Mother You Had, Didn't Have, or Still Contend With

“In order for any of us to become fully functioning members of society, we must learn an interdependent dance with the community in which we live. We need each other. We need our friends. We need teaching and information from sources other than our parents. When we learn to use the community to meet our needs for relationship and truth, we can then be grounded wherever we find ourselves in life.”
― Henry Cloud, The Mom Factor: Dealing with the Mother You Had, Didn't Have, or Still Contend With

“To be purposeful people who can get things done, we need to be able to organize our desires, goals, time, and efforts. This is an important aspect of functioning.”
― Henry Cloud, The Mom Factor: Dealing with the Mother You Had, Didn't Have, or Still Contend With

“Гораздо лучше будет для ребенка, если он простит вас сегодня, а не тридцать лет спустя
на сеансе у психотерапевта, оставив за своей спиной два неудачных брака.”
― Генри Клауд, The Mom Factor

“herself. She is the laboratory for the child to become an adult, and it takes its toll on her. The good mother gets her needs for love, affection, and respect met by God and the safe people in her life. Only in this way can she altruistically and sacrificially do the best thing for the child, who desperately needs safe passage toward adulthood.”
― Henry Cloud, The Mom Factor: Dealing with the Mother You Had, Didn't Have, or Still Contend With

“Structuring our feelings helps add reality to them. In fact, para-doxically, many of the invalidating things that people do are attempts to structure us. But the time for structuring is after validation. After our feelings have been validated, we can understand them and put them into perspective.”
― Henry Cloud, The Mom Factor: Dealing with the Mother You Had, Didn't Have, or Still Contend With

“Our life is our own now, and we alone are accountable for its outcome: “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.”6 Thus, your injured parts need the mothering relationship but not the mothering responsibility.”
― Henry Cloud, The Mom Factor: Dealing with the Mother You Had, Didn't Have, or Still Contend With