Parts Work Quotes

“As I have noted, my understanding of the reason for this is that these sources of guidance have concentrated Self qualities. When guides enter the system they lend these Self qualities to the process. This means that when a person uncovers a part that is carrying the memory and pain of a traumatic experience, that part can be helped from a place of calm, compassionate wisdom.”
― Tom Holmes, Parts Work: An Illustrated Guide to Your Inner Life

“The client was surprised to find that an inner guide in the form of Jesus freed her Baptist girl from her black- and-white thinking.”
― Tom Holmes, Parts Work: An Illustrated Guide to Your Inner Life

“The Critic believed that if Joan was perfect she wouldn't be criticized and hurt by people on the outside. She wanted Joan to be perfect; it was for her own good!”
― Tom Holmes, Parts Work: An Illustrated Guide to Your Inner Life

“It said that it had disguised itself as the light because it felt that was the only way it could get her attention. This illustrates the potential imbalance that could come from valuing only the "higher" spiritual aspects of the inner world - all parts have value, - and parts are not always what they appear to be.”
― Tom Holmes, Parts Work: An Illustrated Guide to Your Inner Life

“When asked if she had an inner source of spiritual guidance she did not report a religious figure but rather a globe of light that transformed the atmosphere of her surroundings in a peaceful way. Her subsequent experience with this globe of light reveals some of the risks inherent in working with this kind of internal force.”
― Tom Holmes, Parts Work: An Illustrated Guide to Your Inner Life

“This aspect of parts work is one of the creative and interesting things about the work: the client and therapist discover the parts as each individual moves along the path of discovering their own inner system. One of the exercises that I have my students do is to generate a map of their own internal system.”
― Tom Holmes, Parts Work: An Illustrated Guide to Your Inner Life

“Inner critics have internalized the expectations of the world around us, and try and protect our vulnerable parts through self criticism.”
― Tom Holmes, Parts Work: An Illustrated Guide to Your Inner Life

“All of our parts arise to help us adapt to physical, psychological and social needs. This helping function is what we call the positive intention of each of our parts. Each part originally developed to help the system even when its behavior seems negative.”
― Tom Holmes, Parts Work: An Illustrated Guide to Your Inner Life

“On the other hand, if the individual were in Self, he might just say, "Hmmm, that person seems very distracted today and didn't even notice me." This verbal dimension of a part is a favorite area for cognitive behavioral therapists to explore. They look for automatic irrational thoughts that arise when we interpret situations in ways that cause us to have negative emotional reactions; the cognitive behavioral therapist challenges them with rational thought.”
― Tom Holmes, Parts Work: An Illustrated Guide to Your Inner Life

“different parts of ourselves are like psychological software programs designed to cope with specific life situations. These are pictured above as icons on a computer screen.”
― Tom Holmes, Parts Work: An Illustrated Guide to Your Inner Life

“The difference between the introverted and the extroverted child is a good example. One effect of this temperamental difference is that introverts are much more reactive to external stimuli, such as the stern voice of the parent. If we apply that difference to the process of developing our inner critics and judges we find this temperamental difference can have a strong impact.”
― Tom Holmes, Parts Work: An Illustrated Guide to Your Inner Life

“Often we see people who have a protective part that always arises when someone tries to get close to them. They fear they might be hurt, and armor themselves for protection.”
― Tom Holmes, Parts Work: An Illustrated Guide to Your Inner Life

“Whereas the inner critic and judge have the function of helping the person to adapt to the family and social norms, the rebel part has the function of pushing against parental and social expectations so that the person can develop autonomy and individual identity.”
― Tom Holmes, Parts Work: An Illustrated Guide to Your Inner Life

“The reality is that most of the time our consciousness bounces around from parts to the Self, from less aware to more aware and back again, but the Self can become increasingly available as we exercise our awareness.”
― Tom Holmes, Parts Work: An Illustrated Guide to Your Inner Life

“When we are on the level of the Self, we can smile at our parts, seeing them with compassion and understanding.”
― Tom Holmes, Parts Work: An Illustrated Guide to Your Inner Life