When Strangers Meet Quotes

“Talking to people who are different from us can be radically transformative. It's the antidote to fear.”
― Kio Stark, When Strangers Meet: How People You Don't Know Can Transform You

“It turns out people don’t listen to each other very much. Once someone feels listened to, they can’t stop talking.”
― Kio Stark, When Strangers Meet: How People You Don't Know Can Transform You

“One of my students performed a radical, poetic intervention into that field of isolation. He was listening to music with headphones, sitting next to a woman also wearing headphones, who was moving a little to her music. He took off his headphones and held them out to her. She looked puzzled for a moment, then took hers off and traded with him. They listened to each other's music for a few minutes and then traded back. Not a word passed between them.”
― Kio Stark, When Strangers Meet: How People You Don't Know Can Transform You

“If I meet you on the street and we get to talking, I might not just be passing the time and getting a dose of connection. I might be looking for something, a tiny crack I can open and see what you’ll show me that’s true. I want your spark and your shine and your fissures of imperfection.”
― Kio Stark, When Strangers Meet: How People You Don't Know Can Transform You

“We communicate emotionally with our partners because we are close to them, we seek to understand and be understood. But we also rely on a "closeness bias." We assume our partners already know what we mean, that they can read our minds a little, and we want that. We may communicate emotionally more fluidly with strangers because we don't assume they already know what we mean.”
― Kio Stark, When Strangers Meet: How People You Don't Know Can Transform You

“So here is the ongoing dilemma: contact and exposure to people who are different from you can breed intolerance instead of the happy tolerance so many social psychologists, urbanists, policymakers, activists, and individuals hope and work for. Bad experiences with people from other groups turn out to have disproportionately more power in forming prejudice in ideas and behavior.”
― Kio Stark, When Strangers Meet: How People You Don't Know Can Transform You

“Empathy is not something you inherit. Throw the idea of human nature out the window here. Empathy is an ability that usually develops in early childhood and is often taught by parents and in schools. It can be fostered or squelched by formative experiences. Empathy can be limited by prejudice. The”
― Kio Stark, When Strangers Meet: How People You Don't Know Can Transform You

“We still act as though living among strangers was new to us, was not the norm. Why”
― Kio Stark, When Strangers Meet: How People You Don't Know Can Transform You