Will & Patrick Meet the Family Quotes

“Remember to act like you love me, all right?” “How could I forget?” Patrick plasters a creepy fake smile on his face. “Stop.” Will swats his chest with the back of his hand. “You look demented.” “Just trying to look in love,” Patrick says through clenched teeth. “Yeah, well, you’re doing it wrong.”
― Leta Blake, Will & Patrick Meet the Family

“Patrick rolls his eyes. “I’m, I don’t know, making conversation.” “You’re very bad at it. Stop.”
― Leta Blake, Will & Patrick Meet the Family

“Patrick has already heard all about the life and times of Ryan Whitehead back when Will spilled his guts in the bar in Vegas. Having now met the jackass in person, his initial impression of the guy as an emotionally abusive dickweed has only been reinforced.”
― Leta Blake, Will & Patrick Meet the Family

“What is it about Will Patterson that brings out the inspirational speeches in him? “I’d have screwed you,” he adds, just to make it less awkward.”
― Leta Blake, Will & Patrick Meet the Family

“And perhaps another man couldn’t have tempted you to pledge yourself in marriage to begin with. Maybe there’s something bigger here?” “Owen,”
― Leta Blake, Will & Patrick Meet the Family

“You had no complaints the other night. In fact, I remember you commenting on my massive size.” “Girth is more important to me, and you’re plenty thick.” His face turns scarlet.”
― Leta Blake, Will & Patrick Meet the Family

“However, if he does not care for you as you deserve, well…let’s just say that a surgeon is not much good without his hands. Enjoy”
― Leta Blake, Will & Patrick Meet the Family

“(He doesn’t ever think he’ll forget Kimberly’s face when Will said, “We—uh—consummated the marriage,” and Patrick had jumped in with, “A lot!”)”
― Leta Blake, Will & Patrick Meet the Family

“Patrick takes his place at Will’s side. As Will’s fake husband, it’s where he belongs.”
― Leta Blake, Will & Patrick Meet the Family

“There’s probably nothing quite like the sweaty, nervous feeling of bringing home a stranger you had a lot of filthy sex with and introducing him to your mother as your brand-new husband. “I”
― Leta Blake, Will & Patrick Meet the Family

“Patrick wonders if he’s going to have PTSD from all this trauma. He’ll forever have flashbacks to being trapped in this South Dakotan hell every time he hears sleigh bells. The”
― Leta Blake, Will & Patrick Meet the Family