Diary of a Conflicted Wither [An Unofficial Minecraft Book] Quotes

“creator for abandoning me with such idiotic company. Right Head: The forest is so cool! =D There’s so many different kinds of flowers here than there in the flat grassy area. I want to name all of them, but Left says I can’t just keep calling them all “Right flower” and “Right flower two.” =/ So, this red one can be “Right flower A,” and the white can be “Right flower B!” =)  I like to pick them. I have a whole bunch of them now! Left doesn’t like it though. He says that flowers will attract bugs. Why would bugs want flowers? They aren’t even big enough to pick them up! Left can be so stupid sometimes. =P”
― Crafty Nichole, Diary of a Conflicted Wither [An Unofficial Minecraft Book]

“Middle Head: I’m surrounded by idiots. No really, I’ve got one on either side. Between the gardener and the bleeding heart, it’s amazing that we’ve made it this far. Left is right about one thing, though; the pyramid will make a good base of operations while we plan out our next move. And he’s right that we should probably stop blowing up everything on the way there. We’re making a rather obvious trail of destruction. He’s so annoying when he’s right. Well, I guess “Right” isn’t exactly the right word. Right is a complete idiot. And now I’ve confused him again. Well, it’s easier to just wait until he gets distracted than try to explain it. Right Head: But really, though. Left can’t be Right, right? I’m Right! Is there more than one Right? That has to be it. I’m on our right, but Left would be Right to someone else. Right? @_@ Oh no, my head hurts. Oh, more cacti! I like them a lot! They get so tall! =) And sometimes they blow up! =D Middle says those ones are actually creepers, but I know better. I want to grow my own cactus bombs! >=) Day Fourteen Right Head: The pyramid is super fun! =D I blew it all up!! >=D All it took was one little explosion, and then boom, boom, BOOM!!! Middle isn’t very happy with me, but he’s never happy. =/ Left is pretty mad too. And he never gets mad. =( I didn’t mean to blow everything up, but it was so much fun! I had a good day. =) Middle Head: That complete, utter, absolute moron! We finally make it to the pyramid after a whole day’s journey across the hot desert, and he blows it up! First thing! No conversation! Left says that we should check for booby traps, and then the idiot just starts shooting skulls all over the place! It’s a miracle that the explosion wasn’t even bigger! He’s lucky that we don’t have skin. I would tear his off and make it into a coat. Or shoes, if we had feet. All the fires of the Nether wouldn’t be enough to burn the stink of stupidity from my skull. Humph. Well, Left convinced me that we need to keep looking for Steve. He isn’t in this desert, and east still feels like the best way to go. We’ve been asking any skeletons we see about the best places to look. The zombies are all obsessed with some village nearby, and nothing else seems willing to talk to us.”
― Crafty Nichole, Diary of a Conflicted Wither [An Unofficial Minecraft Book]

“Left Head: Middle was in a terrible mood for the entire day, and I can’t really blame him. I’ve been kind of sad, myself. But at least I haven’t been trying to explode everything that moves. Middle and Right have been chasing after sheep almost all afternoon. If that makes them feel better, then that’s just fine. Especially since they’re blowing up the spiders too. One of the skeletons told me about something even worse than spiders: silverfish! I don’t know exactly what they are, but I certainly don’t want to find any. I’ve told Middle and Right to stay away from any underground structures. I hope they listen to me. I’ve had enough of creepy things with too many legs! Middle Head: Left’s sudden and hilarious fear of bugs aside, we haven’t found out anything useful since losing track of Steve. Well, that’s not completely true. I caught a glimpse of something from the east. It seems to be a huge desert. At least nothing but cacti can grow there. I’m so tired of Right always going on and on about plants and growing things. I’ll blow up every flower between Steve and us if he keeps it up! Right Head: Middle was extra explode-y today. We went for a walk today and played with the sheep. =) I like it when Middle gets excited. He can shout realllly loud! =D And, he has a lot of nicknames for me. Things like “cretin” and “imbecile.” I don’t know what they mean, but Middle seems to have fun shouting them at me. =)”
― Crafty Nichole, Diary of a Conflicted Wither [An Unofficial Minecraft Book]

“Middle Head: I knew this would happen. As soon as we let our guard down, Steve returned to torment me. This is all Left’s fault! If he had just listened to me and attacked, we could have put an end to this little game. But, no. Left wanted to stop and just talk to the guy wearing a full suit of diamond armor! And he had an enchanted bow! He obviously didn’t want to talk—he wanted my star! And then that idiot, Right…he knocked a key redstone torch away and detonated my trap too soon. Not only did Steve escape, but also our base was probably completely destroyed. It’s official. Both of my other heads are complete morons. If we’re going to protect ourselves against Steve, I’m going to have to take matters into my own hands…wait we don’t have hands. Well, the expression doesn’t matter. It’s up to me to blow up everything we come up against.”
― Crafty Nichole, Diary of a Conflicted Wither [An Unofficial Minecraft Book]

“Left Head: Steve snuck up on us! I knew he would want to come back and talk to us again and maybe set things straight. Middle was so mad. He was right in the middle of making some kind of trap with dynamite and TNT when Steve got here. I wanted to try talking things over first, but Middle wouldn’t stop shooting skulls long enough for me to get a word in. I had to take matters into my own hands and fly straight into the…well, it isn’t really a sky, is it? But I flew us away until Middle could get his head on straight and stop shooting skulls all over the place. Right Head: Left is right. Steve’s an okay guy. Wait, Left can’t be Right. I’m Right. Wait. I’m getting confused. @_@ But Middle blew up our base. He says it was an accident, but he likes blowing stuff up more than I do! So, everything exploded and then we flew away! I like flying. =) Not as much as exploding though. And I like growing stuff even more! =D I’m not really sure where we’re flying to, but Middle knows.”
― Crafty Nichole, Diary of a Conflicted Wither [An Unofficial Minecraft Book]

“Steve likes blowing stuff up too. I can get along with him if he likes explosions as much as I do! =) But Steve can’t swim in lava like we can. Wow, I learned a lot today! =D”
― Crafty Nichole, Diary of a Conflicted Wither [An Unofficial Minecraft Book]

“think that since they have such a similar mindset of just blowing things up, they’d want to give us a hand. Well, after all of Middle’s attempts to talk, the ghasts decided they’d rather fight, so we had no choice but to kill them. Hopefully things won’t ever have to come to that again. I don’t like killing things, and would rather just avoid”
― Crafty Nichole, Diary of a Conflicted Wither [An Unofficial Minecraft Book]

“Right Head:”
― Crafty Nichole, Diary of a Conflicted Wither [An Unofficial Minecraft Book]