Negotiating the Impossible Quotes

“Do not force people to choose between doing what is smart and doing what helps them save face.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“But in my experience, there is one way to signal your commitment to process that all negotiations provide: Always keep your word, even when it is costly. The best deal makers and diplomats take very seriously the promises and commitments they have made to the other side on small things and big. This is not only the right thing to do; it is a tremendously powerful instrument in deal making. Especially in difficult, protracted conflicts where negotiating itself might be seen as risky or useless, often the only source of leverage you have for bringing the other side to the table is your credibility. And once you’re at the table, mistrust is often the biggest barrier to the give-and-take necessary for progress, because many of the concessions either side commits to are not deliverable right away—promises of equitable treatment, power sharing, future benefits, etc. are necessarily premised on trust. If you have not built up a reputation for credibility, you are ill-suited to negotiate such deals.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“But progress in the current negotiation is not the only potential victim of short-termism. A myopic approach to negotiating, even if a deal is reached, can exacerbate the likelihood of future conflict, or diminish our ability to resolve it.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“history demonstrates quite clearly—not just in sports, but in personal relationships, business, international relations, and elsewhere—that today’s conflicts are often the result of how we conducted and concluded past negotiations. Effective”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“Never let fear dictate your response to the problems of human interaction.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“Asking people to forget the past is futile, but it is sometimes possible to help them find more value-creating ways to apply the lessons of the past.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“Not long ago, on a flight to India, I was filling out a customs declaration form. It asked most of the questions one would anticipate, including “Are you bringing the following items … ?” One of the items on the list was Prohibited Articles. Turning the card over to find out what was prohibited, I found, along with the usual suspects (narcotic drugs, counterfeit currency, etc.), something I did not quite expect: “Maps and literature where Indian external boundaries have been shown incorrectly.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“History begins at different times for different people. The dates that register on our calendars are typically those that mark our victories and victimizations.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“Understand what is sacred to the other side and avoid asking for it as a precondition to engagement. They might agree to negotiate what was once nonnegotiable, but only if they see a credible path to resolving the conflict or achieving vital objectives”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“Protracted conflicts cannot be resolved without genuine efforts to understand the deep-seated forces that legitimize each side’s perspective and behavior.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“Conflict between people may be natural, but conflict between peoples always has a strong socially constructed basis that defines its parameters and sustains it over generations.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“Maybe the other side was simply brainwashed—and so were we. Identities and interests are socially constructed. This can help explain not only the depth of conflict that can exist between countries, but also the hostile divisions that can emerge between competing political parties, different religious ideologies, pro-life and pro-choice advocates, labor unions and management, and even rival corporate entities. In all such environments, each side can come to see its own perspective as moral while others are viewed with suspicion and derision. The discrepancy can persist and widen because all sides pass judgment on events using their own self-serving standards of legitimacy.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“Google runs an entirely separate maps site, ditu.google.cn, for Chinese users, which operates within the great Chinese firewall. This isn’t just a one-off concession to the party leaders in Beijing: Google maintains thirty-two different region-specific versions of its Maps tool for different countries around the world that each abide by the respective local laws.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“Ask people to imagine a world in which the seemingly impossible actually happens. Then ask them to paint you a picture of what that world looks like.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“Start by asking: What would be the value-maximizing outcome? Are there ways to create value?”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“See the other side as your partner, not your opponent, regardless of the type or degree of conflict. It is hard to empathize or collaborate with “opponents.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“It is always best to remember that the people you are dealing with are not competitors, allies, enemies, or friends—they are just people who, like you, have interests, constraints, alternatives, and perspectives (ICAP).”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“Labels might provide an efficient means of describing someone (“she’s my competitor”), but they are necessarily incomplete and limiting.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“Avoid picking a winning strategy earlier than is necessary. Keep options open and be prepared—psychologically, organizationally, and politically—to change course.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“When there is no possibility of reaching a deal today, prepare for future opportunities with moves that improve positioning and create option value.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“Prepare for good fortune. Be psychologically, organizationally, and politically prepared in case a window of opportunity opens for deal making or diplomacy.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“Your analysis and approach should take into account the static, dynamic, and strategic possibilities of leveraging third parties.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“When substantive negotiations were finally conducted in 1867, the Americans agreed to purchase the land. Not to be outdone by his predecessor, Secretary of State William Seward made the purchase of the vast region for a price of two cents per acre.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“ICAP Analysis: Assess the interests, constraints, alternatives, and perspective of all parties in the negotiation space.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“Map out the negotiation space. Your strategy should take into account all parties who can influence the deal or who are influenced by the deal.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“Think trilaterally: evaluate how third parties influence or alter the interests, constraints, and alternatives of those at the table.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“If your proposals are being rejected but their concerns seem legitimate, try giving the other side the task of structuring the deal—but clarify the conditions they must meet.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“Yielding to the other party’s frame or perspective might enhance your leverage.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“Competing perspectives can be bridged if (a) one side can adopt the other’s frame without sacrificing their ability to articulate key demands, or (b) both sides can agree to a new frame that gives neither an advantage.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts

“Sometimes the best response to a deep-rooted perspective is to yield to it: understand it, adopt it, and repurpose it to advance your position.”
― Deepak Malhotra, Negotiating the Impossible: How to Break Deadlocks and Resolve Ugly Conflicts