Not Working Quotes

“Lists

I've been keeping a list on my phone of business ideas, should I chance upon an adventurous millionaire. So far it reads:

1. Black milk (for goths?)”
― Lisa Owens, Not Working

“A bell tinkles when I open the door and I’m hit by the smell – a powdery, fudgy, floral nostalgia-blast, encoded in my brain at some long-ago point to signify ‘femininity’, and I realize with a vague sense of disenchantment that this phenomenon – femininity – has not manifested itself at all as I expected, in the form of vanity table, crystal perfume atomizer, kimono suspended from silk-padded hanger, et cetera, but instead as a tangle of greyish underwear, old sports T-shirts for nighties and an unruly Boots-special-offer-dictated assortment of half-finished moisturizers, packets of face wipes and bunches of tampons.”
― Lisa Owens, Not Working

“I’d happily split any money I earned, fifty–fifty, with someone who’d tell me what to do with my hair, what to eat, how to dress, when to bleed the radiators, get the windows cleaned, paint the walls, which articles in which publications to read, the salient points of this Syria thing and the best use of my skills and time on this earth.”
― Lisa Owens, Not Working

“Not proud of the fact that when crossing the road, I use fellow humans as a buffer from the oncoming traffic, but there it is: that’s the sort of person I am.”
― Lisa Owens, Not Working

“The way everything curls as he sleeps: fists, spine, eyelashes.”
― Lisa Owens, Not Working

“That's the spirit

In the park, a tiny dog trots by. In its mouth, a branch four times its size.”
― Lisa Owens, Not Working

“Tube

Three women opposite talk about the weather as if it's a friend they don't much like.
"And that's another thing," says one, leaning in. "My no-tights-till-October rule has gone straight out the window."
Her companions bob their heads, uncross and recross their nylon-clad legs.”
― Lisa Owens, Not Working

“I’m trying to decide exactly what this woman, dressed from suede-platform-booted toe to fedora-feather tip in a single, arresting shade of green, might have lost. Her inhibitions? Her mind? A bet?”
― Lisa Owens, Not Working

“Sleep and wakefulness bicker all night and I think, Why can’t you two just get along?”
― Lisa Owens, Not Working

“Dessert appears. In less than a minute of frenzied gouging and scraping the plate is practically spotless, and our spoons gleam brighter than when they arrived.”
― Lisa Owens, Not Working

“In the car, I puff out my cheeks a few times and slowly release the air. I pat the gearshift, grip the steering wheel, tweak the mirrors, grind the seat back and forth on its rails.

“Ready?” says Luke, thumbing the sat nav.

“No,” I say. “Give me a minute. I need to get my bearings.”

“We’re heading that way,” says Luke, gesturing behind.

“I meant my bearings inside the car. Wait, I thought north was that way?” I point to the windshield.

“You do know north isn’t always just straight ahead of you?” says Luke. I shake my head in faux-disgust, faux because his assumption was right on the money.”
― Lisa Owens, Not Working

“We finish the session with a treadmill sprint, and Gavin starts to roar above the music. "I want you! To give me! One hundred! Percent!"
Obediently I thumb up the speed control, puffing and clenching my teeth so he'll think I've hit my limit—but there's no way I'm giving this my all. It's absolute madness not to hold something back: that's just basic common sense.”
― Lisa Owens, Not Working