Hellzapoppin' Quotes

“If you can keep your head when all around are losing theirs, you probably haven’t understood the situation, thought Stephen,”
― Heide Goody, Hellzapoppin'

“Monk on demon action would be quite inappropriate.”
― Heide Goody, Hellzapoppin'

“What’re you up to?” said Rutspud conversationally. “Narnia business,” said Lewis. “No need to be rude. You know, there is more to life than wardrobes.” Lewis looked at him. “You”
― Heide Goody, Hellzapoppin'

“What is that unholy moaning?” said Rutspud. “It sounds like a whale trying to mate with a pipe organ.” “Oh, that’ll be the Enya,” said Scabass. “Don’t worry, you’ll totally forget about it once the kittens get to work on you.” With”
― Heide Goody, Hellzapoppin'

“We are truly saved, brothers. This is a sign! This –” In the act of declamation, Brother Clement put a foot on the gunwale, slipped and pitched forward into the sea. “Well, that shut him up,” said Brother Henry. Brother”
― Heide Goody, Hellzapoppin'

“Maybe that’s all this place is: another level of Hell.” “Ah, you’ve been to Wales before, then,” said Stephen.”
― Heide Goody, Hellzapoppin'

“And that’s it,” said Rutspud to Stephen. “I’ve got until the twelve bongs and then I’m going to be stuffed into a room full of kittens until I am ‘better’.” “And these kittens, they’ll … what?” “Sit there and look cute.” Rutspud shuddered within the folds of the habit that Stephen had loaned him. “Or rub themselves up against me. I might even be required to stroke them.” Stephen”
― Heide Goody, Hellzapoppin'

“And even worse still,” said Scabass, “they make you listen to this thing called Enya.” “What is Enya?” “Hope you never find out,” said Scabass. “Our lord is a tyrant, such as Hell deserves, but his methods are sometimes beyond the pale. Listen.” “What?”
― Heide Goody, Hellzapoppin'

“There was some serious consternation among the demons around the room. Some cowered. Some froze. Some even made remarkable in-roads into pretending that they weren’t there and never had been and that no one could prove otherwise.”
― Heide Goody, Hellzapoppin'

“Treyvaw laughed. It was the kind of laugh that someone might learn from an intensive week-long training course entitled How To Laugh When There’s Nothing To Laugh At.”
― Heide Goody, Hellzapoppin'

“Nero ran breathlessly into Lord Peter’s office. “Lord …” he panted. “There is a raging wall of water coming directly towards your office!” Lord Peter frowned and looked at his diary. “Does it have an appointment?” “No, Lord?” Lord Peter gave him a look. “Then tell it to come back another time.”
― Heide Goody, Hellzapoppin'

“So why is this bird so rare?” asked Bastian. “Oh, the usual story,” said Carol. “Invasion and destruction of its habitats. Hunting. Egg theft. The last breeding pair in Cornwall were shot by a local man who thought they were Nazi spies.”
― Heide Goody, Hellzapoppin'

“We're hunting the Beast!” said Brother Gillespie with a wild grin. “What beast is that, brothers?” asked Manfred, wondering if the interesting mushrooms had cropped again.”
― Heide Goody, Hellzapoppin'

“There's so much I don't understand about humans,” said Rutspud, with a rueful shake of his head. “Why do the good ones have bits of bad in them? Why do the bad ones have bits of good in them? Why do some men have boobs?”
― Heide Goody, Hellzapoppin'

“You’re shitting me.” “I’m not.” “Nah. You’re shitting me.” “I defecate you not, demon. You”
― Heide Goody, Hellzapoppin'

“According to our Medicinale Anglicum, starvation is a good protection against the plague.” “Right. So not a course of antibiotics, then?” “We must work with what we have, Brother Sebastian. Here’s another cure. Drink a mixture of baby fox’s blood and urine thrice daily in a silver goblet blessed by the king.”
― Heide Goody, Hellzapoppin'

“From the histories of Joan of Arc, we have the siege of Orleans. Culinary delights included tree bark, shoes and rat droppings.”
― Heide Goody, Hellzapoppin'

“Did you know that, during the first century siege of Jerusalem, the besieged resorted to eating belts, leather straps and cooked tufts of grass?” “Is that all?” “And babies. But we’re out of babies.”
― Heide Goody, Hellzapoppin'

“I don’t think the brothers are ready for a rodent-based diet.” “The Cantonese call it jia lu or ‘super deer’. It’s considered a delicacy.”
― Heide Goody, Hellzapoppin'

“I cast you out, unclean spirit,” Stephen shouted, “along with every Satanic power of the enemy, every spectre from Hell and all your fell companions, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Be gone. Go on now, go! Walk out the door! Just turn around now, ’cause you’re not welcome anymore …”
― Heide Goody, Hellzapoppin'

“Now, you'll make sure that shrink-a-ma-jig device gets put somewhere safe, won't you? If you want to use it again, there's a form you'll need to fill in.” “Oh, where do I find the form?” asked Rutspud. “Bottom of the lake of fire,” said Hodshift and”
― Heide Goody, Hellzapoppin'

“The internet might have been a human invention, but the tablet he viewed it on was one of Hell’s own designs, as was the Windows Vista operating system and the Internet Explorer by which the internet was made visible.”
― Heide Goody, Hellzapoppin'

“Hell’s call centre,” said Nero. “Any invocations to Satan, demons or the powers of Hell come through here. Staffed entirely and perpetually by these damned individuals.” “What was their crime in life?” asked Scabass. “They worked in call centres,” shrugged Nero. “Through”
― Heide Goody, Hellzapoppin'

“Oh, yes, the benefits of performance improvement. It’s like giving a new hat to a man about to have his head chopped off.” He”
― Heide Goody, Hellzapoppin'