The Unexpected Gift of Joseph Bridgeman Quotes

“Sometimes what we need is right in front of us, we just have to connect the dots and embrace what we already know.”
― Nick Jones, The Unexpected Gift of Joseph Bridgeman

“It’s not easy,’ she says softly, ‘but if it’s worth doing, it never is.”
― Nick Jones, The Unexpected Gift of Joseph Bridgeman

“He’s not a superhero, he’s a vigilante. He’s just a rich bloke with cool toys. If Bane (he’s the pork chop with all the pipes coming out of his dust mask) can break Batman’s back, then what chance would he have against Superman? I mean, Batman versus Superman! What the hell is that all about? Bruce Wayne in a bat suit is no different to you or I, we would break a hand in multiple places if we punched Superman. Spiderman is a superhero and – as I’ve already said – my favourite of them all, but facts are facts. Spidey wouldn’t even get to quip, ‘Hey, over here red pants!’ before he was melted into red and blue jelly.  No. If you are Superman, then you are invincible and completely awesome. You can fucking fly. You get to shoot lasers out of your eyes, and see through shit. And you know the best part? The bit that most people don’t even think about? Just because you’re Superman doesn’t mean you have to dress like him.  If I were Superman, I would wear the Spiderman outfit by day (pretending to spin webs and climb walls etc.) and then switch to Batman at night (fighting crime, being cool and laughing – high pitched to piss the bad guys off, not like Christian Bale – while bullets bounced off me). Plus, who the hell would ever think about using Kryptonite on those two? No one.”
― Nick Jones, The Unexpected Gift of Joseph Bridgeman

“Time-travel can give with one hand but take with the other. There is always a consequence. There is always a deal. Nothing in life is free and it never was.”
― Nick Jones, The Unexpected Gift of Joseph Bridgeman

“I like routine. I may be moderately depressed and a reclusive insomniac but that doesn’t mean I don’t make plans. I have stuff to do, places to go, people to avoid.”
― Nick Jones, The Unexpected Gift of Joseph Bridgeman

“No. If you are Superman, then you are invincible and completely awesome. You can fucking fly. You get to shoot lasers out of your eyes, and see through shit. And you know the best part? The bit that most people don’t even think about? Just because you’re Superman doesn’t mean you have to dress like him. If I were Superman, I would wear the Spiderman outfit by day (pretending to spin webs and climb walls etc.) and then switch to Batman at night (fighting crime, being cool and laughing – high pitched to piss the bad guys off, not like Christian Bale – while bullets bounced off me). Plus,”
― Nick Jones, The Unexpected Gift of Joseph Bridgeman

“I wanted to share my favourite Alzheimer’s joke with you, but I can’t remember it for the life of me. That was a joke.  Get it? Okay, how about this one? Doctor: “I have good news and bad news...”  The patient says, “Lay it on me, Doc. What’s the bad news?”  Doctor: “You have Alzheimer’s disease.”  “Christ, what’s the good news?”  “At least you can go home and forget about it.” “Forget about what?”
― Nick Jones, The Unexpected Gift of Joseph Bridgeman