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Diary of an Angry Alex: Book 3 (an Unofficial Minecraft Book) Diary of an Angry Alex: Book 3 by Crafty Nichole
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“butt”
Crafty Nichole, Diary of an Angry Alex: Book 3
“8:00am The sun is shining, the cows are mooing, and I am ready for the mines. I hope I find something awesome today. Steve has told me about some pretty crazy things I had no idea existed. According to him, I must find empty tombs in the desert. That’s where the real treasures are. For today, I will stick to regular mining. Who knows, maybe I will come across an abandoned mine shaft; could be my lucky day.   12:30pm I was forced to come home for lunch today because I had too much stuff to carry. I was getting low on my iron ore, gold, and lapis lazuli stocks before this mine trip. It’s amazing how quick lapis goes when you are busy enchanting everything but the kitchen sink. I’d enchant that too if I had one. I wonder what an enchanted kitchen sink would do. Would it do my dishes for me? That would be so cool.   I have plenty of both now. I can make some new armor and enchant it! I love mining.   Steve decided to join me for lunch and we ate a couple of pork chops and some cake. I love cake! We ate until no more food could fill us up. Then, Steve had the guts to brag about how, when he mines, he takes a horse with extra storage so he can stay down there all day long. Well fancy you, Steve.   He also went on to tell me about how well the crops are doing these days. He thinks it’s because he is looking after them half of the time. What he doesn’t know is I throw bone marrow on them when I am working. Makes my job faster and gives me more free time so whatever you need to tell yourself, Steve.   Life may be easier switching every day between mines and farming, but it still doesn’t make me his biggest fan. I just don’t think he needs to fall in a hole, either. At least… Not right now. I would consider us to be frienemies; Friendly enemies. Yes. At times we pretend to get along, but most of the time, we are happiest doing our own thing.   6:00pm Mining this afternoon was super fun… Not! I got attacked by a partially hidden skeleton guy. I couldn’t see him enough to strike back until half of my life hearts were gone. I must not have made the space bright enough. Those guys are nasty. They are hard to kill too. If you don’t have a bow and arrow you might as well surrender. Plus, they kind of smell like death. Yuck.   Note to self: Bring more torches on the next mining day.   On the other hand, I came back with an overshare of Redstone, too much iron for my own good, and oddly, quite a few diamonds. I won’t be sharing the diamonds with anyone. They are far too precious. They will go to some new diamond pickaxes, and maybe some armor. Hmm, I could enchant those too! The iron and Redstone though, I am thinking a trip to the village may be in order. See what those up-tight weirdos are willing to trade me.   For now, it’s bedtime.   6:10pm You can only sleep at night. You can only sleep at night. You can only sleep at night.   6:11pm That stupid rule gets me every time. Why can’t I decide when it’s bed time?   First, I will go eat a cookie, then I will go to sleep. Day Thirty-Three   3:00am I just dreamt that our world was made of cookies.”
Crafty Nichole, Diary of an Angry Alex: Book 3
“snorting “I’ve caught you mumbling about how”
Crafty Nichole, Diary of an Angry Alex: Book 3
“Creeper Three: This guy was good. His camouflaged head mixed right in with the wheat I was harvesting. I almost tried to pick him out of the ground. Then the flashing started and I was blown back several feet, landing on some potatoes. Half of the field is blown to pieces and water draining everywhere from the irrigation troughs. What a mess. I fixed the field, but will have to re-plant and add water another day.”
Crafty Nichole, Diary of an Angry Alex: Book 3
“*Evil laugh attempt #357* flawless. I can’t believe I actually figured out my evil laugh. Now, can I keep it this great?  Of course I can.”
Crafty Nichole, Diary of an Angry Alex: Book 3
“*Evil laugh attempt #355* Hmmm. It’s good, but maybe a stronger breath first.”
Crafty Nichole, Diary of an Angry Alex: Book 3
“*Evil laugh attempt #355* A combination of Mwah ha heee haaww ha ha. Still a little donkey in there. It’s like I can’t breathe enough to get through the laugh. Must be more evil.”
Crafty Nichole, Diary of an Angry Alex: Book 3
“*Evil laugh attempt #354* less HEEEH HAAAW, more HAAA HAAA. Still needs work.”
Crafty Nichole, Diary of an Angry Alex: Book 3
“*Evil laugh attempt #353* Getting better, but still a little donkey-sounding.”
Crafty Nichole, Diary of an Angry Alex: Book 3
“I will make them pay. *Evil Laugh Attempt #352* Donkeys still came running.”
Crafty Nichole, Diary of an Angry Alex: Book 3
“I just dreamt that our world was made of cookies. I mean everything. There were cookie dough trees with chocolate chip leaves, rivers of peanut butter cookie batter, and raisin cookie clouds. It was so delicious, I woke up drooling on my pillow. Cookie dreams are the best dreams.”
Crafty Nichole, Diary of an Angry Alex: Book 3
“frolic”
Crafty Nichole, Diary of an Angry Alex: Book 3
“oddly,”
Crafty Nichole, Diary of an Angry Alex: Book 3
“(Insert donkey-sounding evil laugh here)”
Crafty Nichole, Diary of an Angry Alex: Book 3
“just had the best dream. It was National Alex Day and the world was celebrating ME! They cheered and chanted my name along with my evil laugh. They lit villagers on fire and danced in the moonlit. The skies were orange, and yellow, and red. Anarchy filled the air while drums beat wildly. The energy was mind-blowing. I was cherished, honored, loved even, all across the lands.”
Crafty Nichole, Diary of an Angry Alex: Book 3
“couldn’t sleep any longer, so I snuck outside and sheered the pink sheep. I made Steve a bright pink rug for his bedroom floor. I crept in while he was sleeping and laid it out. Then I left a sign saying “for my roomie, for being awesome”.   6:00am”
Crafty Nichole, Diary of an Angry Alex: Book 3
“whatever you need to tell yourself, Steve.”
Crafty Nichole, Diary of an Angry Alex: Book 3