Buttageddon Quotes

“With the time that I haven’t been working in the fields, I’ve been thinking a lot,” my father explains. “Thinking about you, about the office farm.”               “I’m going to be alright,” I tell him, “and the farm is going to be alright, too. There will be plenty off food for everyone back at work.”
― Chuck Tingle, Buttageddon: The Final Days Of Pounding Ass

“The size of this beast, however, is more than anything I had ever known possible. Based on the huge brown eye that hovers just above the waterline, reflecting back the light of the fire towards us, I would guess that this beast is at least twelve meters long, cheek to cheek.”
― Chuck Tingle, Buttageddon: The Final Days Of Pounding Ass

“I have not committed a crime, and therefore my butt cannot be pounded.  This is the Unicorn Butt Cop way.”
― Chuck Tingle, Buttageddon: The Final Days Of Pounding Ass

“overwhelming odds, an amateur office wizard and a small town Butt Cop taking on an entire devilman army.”
― Chuck Tingle, Buttageddon: The Final Days Of Pounding Ass

“I was a US mummy tracker for years in Afghanistan and Egypt,” explains the unicorn.”
― Chuck Tingle, Buttageddon: The Final Days Of Pounding Ass

“Then it’s back to the fields right when I return,” I say.  “Those workers aren’t going to feed themselves back at Buttcorp.”
― Chuck Tingle, Buttageddon: The Final Days Of Pounding Ass

“Thanks to many hours on the farm spent plowing and tilling, I am quite fit for a twenty-one-year-old boy with nice abs,”
― Chuck Tingle, Buttageddon: The Final Days Of Pounding Ass