Fifty Shades of Dave Quotes

“Way to go Doc. Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk, in a jar. Q: But could the patient have still been alive, never the less? A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.”
― David Loman, Fifty Shades of Dave: Ridiculous Customer Complaints - The Compilation (Ridiculous Customer Complaints

“No wonder he was sad. "I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.”
― David Loman, Fifty Shades of Dave: Ridiculous Customer Complaints - The Compilation (Ridiculous Customer Complaints

“That'll do it. "In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.”
― David Loman, Fifty Shades of Dave: Ridiculous Customer Complaints - The Compilation (Ridiculous Customer Complaints

“Possibly. "Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo.”
― David Loman, Fifty Shades of Dave: Ridiculous Customer Complaints - The Compilation (Ridiculous Customer Complaints

“Well you said it. Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to? A: Oral.”
― David Loman, Fifty Shades of Dave: Ridiculous Customer Complaints - The Compilation (Ridiculous Customer Complaints

“Bad move. Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan.”
― David Loman, Fifty Shades of Dave: Ridiculous Customer Complaints - The Compilation (Ridiculous Customer Complaints

“A little raver. Q: “Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?” A: “Yes.” Q: “Did the defendant say anything when she got out of the car?” A: “Yes.” Q: “What did she say?” A: “What disco am I at?”
― David Loman, Fifty Shades of Dave: Ridiculous Customer Complaints - The Compilation (Ridiculous Customer Complaints