Tied Together Quotes

“Grandpa, as far as any child is concerned, their parents don't have any sort of genitals. It's all blank down there. Like Barbie and Ken dolls.”
― Z.B. Heller, Tied Together

“Pulling him all the way out, his c*#@ came free from his jeans with a thud, and my eyes went wide as saucers. This was not a penis but an anaconda. His d* was a weapon of mass destruction and could have had its own area code. To make matters more frightening, Peter was uncut. I was dealing with a hybrid: an anaconda turtle.”
― Z.B. Heller, Tied Together

“Grandpa, as far as any child is concerned, their parents don’t have any sort of genitals. It’s all blank down there. Like Barbie and Ken dolls.”
― Z.B. Heller, Tied Together

“I was outed by accident when I was seventeen years old. I had a whole elaborate plan how I was going to tell my parents I was gay. I was going to decorate my family’s living room with rainbow-colored flags, cook up some rainbow Jell-O, and have a Cher CD playing. I didn’t even like Cher, but from what I heard, she was a gay idol. My outing was going to be the baddest bitch of a coming-out party known to man. Even”
― Z.B. Heller, Tied Together

“My outing was going to be the baddest bitch of a coming-out party known to man.”
― Z.B. Heller, Tied Together

“My Man F*#$*& Another Pooper and I Went Into a Stupor.”
― Z.B. Heller, Tied Together