Grandpa's Great Escape Quotes

“In his dreams he would be a hero. In his life he felt like a zero.”
― David Walliams, Grandpa's Great Escape

“But as ever in life, wherever there is tragedy, you can often find comedy.”
― David Walliams, Grandpa's Great Escape

“That night Jack lay in bed, in the place just between awake and asleep. The room was beginning to disappear to make way for the world of dreams.”
― David Walliams, Grandpa's Great Escape

“No one knows where socks disappear to. It is one of the universe's greatest mysteries. Either they are sucked into a black hole where time and space have become flattened, or they get caught in the back of the washing machine.”
― David Walliams, Grandpa's Great Escape

“wanted to do was call his parents. If they found out how disastrously Grandpa’s visit to the school had gone, chances were they would want to send him straight to Twilight”
― David Walliams, Grandpa's Great Escape

“Holocaust,”
― David Walliams, Grandpa's Great Escape

“sitting behind the controls of his Hurricane, taking on a squadron of deadly Messerschmitts, when”
― David Walliams, Grandpa's Great Escape

“As Jack listened at the top of the stairs, a tear welled in his eye, and rolled very slowly down his cheek. 8”
― David Walliams, Grandpa's Great Escape

“The Queen peered down at Jack and mused, “Aren’t you a little young to be in my Royal Air Force?”
― David Walliams, Grandpa's Great Escape

“It was as if the coffin was a toboggan. A coffin toboggan. A coffboggan.”
― David Walliams, Grandpa's Great Escape

“As Twilight Towers was set on the edge of the moors, streetlamps were few and far between.”
― David Walliams, Grandpa's Great Escape

“Up and down went the ends of the old man’s moustache”
― David Walliams, Grandpa's Great Escape

“A day trip to a local farm ended in disaster when the geography teacher was herded into a sheep dip and all his hair was sheared off. It was slightly preferable to the previous year when the pupils had attached him to the milking machine.”
― David Walliams, Grandpa's Great Escape

“RAT TAT TAT!”
― David Walliams, Grandpa's Great Escape

“What’s the fastest speed you ever went in your Spitfire?”
― David Walliams, Grandpa's Great Escape

“As long as you love me, I can never die.”
― David Walliams, Grandpa's Great Escape

“In his dreams, he would be a hero. In his life, he felt like a zero.”
― David Walliams, Grandpa's Great Escape

“Now I am covered in knickers!” she complained loudly. “I can never show my face in polite society again!”
― David Walliams, Grandpa's Great Escape

“•​You MUST take your pills. If you fail to take your pills, every single person in your dormitory will be PUNISHED for all ETERNITY”
― David Walliams, Grandpa's Great Escape

“Do NOT complain about the tea. We know it tastes like someone’s bathwater that has been PEED in. That’s because it is.”
― David Walliams, Grandpa's Great Escape

“With a Spoon?!”
― David Walliams, Grandpa's Great Escape

“flanked by two incredibly bulky nurses who dwarfed her. One nurse had a black eye, and ‘LOVE’ and ‘HATE’ tattooed on her knuckles. The other had a tattoo of a spider’s web on her neck and what looked like stubble on her chin. Both scowled at the boy. They were the ugliest nurses you could ever hope to meet. Jack’s eyes darted to their name badges – ‘Nurse Rose’ and ‘Nurse Blossom’. Miss Swine was twirling what at first glance looked like a baton. Holding it in one hand, she then rhythmically tapped the palm of her other. The effect was one of quiet menace. At one end of the baton were two little”
― David Walliams, Grandpa's Great Escape

“Smelly cheese, blue cheese, runny cheese, MOULDY CHEESE, cheesy cheese.”
― David Walliams, Grandpa's Great Escape

“The 1940s The 1940s were dominated by World War II and its aftermath. It was a decade of great change and upheaval for the British public as millions of soldiers joined the Armed Forces to fight, while those who stayed at home had to adjust to new rules and ways of life to help the war effort. Everyone was called upon to ‘do their bit’ to help the nation and people were encouraged to ‘make do and mend’, which meant reusing and repairing clothes and furniture instead of throwing them away. After the war ended in 1945, life didn’t return to normal right away. Clothes rationing lasted until 1949 and the country was nearly bankrupted by debts that had accumulated during the war so living conditions were poor.”
― David Walliams, Grandpa's Great Escape

“One Christmas on a school outing to see the local pantomime two pupils stole the pantomime horse costume. They were only found out when several months later they attempted to enter the Grand National.”
― David Walliams, Grandpa's Great Escape

“At London Zoo, a girl leaped over the wall at the penguin enclosure. She thought that by tugging her pullover over her head, waddling and catching a fish in her mouth she could pass herself off as a penguin.”
― David Walliams, Grandpa's Great Escape

“A trip to a Dr Who exhibition ended in chaos when a number of boys stole Cybermen, Sontaran and Dalek costumes and pretended that there was an alien invasion of Earth.”
― David Walliams, Grandpa's Great Escape