The INFJ Handbook Quotes

“As perfectionists and idealists, INFJs are constantly striving to make things better. Whether it's a relationship we're invested in, a person we care about, a project we're working on, or even a houseplant, INFJs won't give up until they've exhausted every possibility for improvement.”
― Marissa Baker, The INFJ Handbook: A guide to and for the rarest Myers-Briggs personality type

“I find myself taking responsibility for everyone's emotions, even though they are not my burden to carry. I somehow feel that it is up to me to make them happy, because no one else will. If my loved ones are not happy, neither am I.”
― Marissa Baker, The INFJ Handbook: A guide to and for the rarest Myers-Briggs personality type

“We love talking with someone who is interested in pealing back psychological and emotional layers, both ours and theirs if we trust them enough. Even issues that tend to deeply polarize people are open for discussion with an INFJ. While we will have strong opinions on somethings, most of the time we just want to talk about different ideas.”
― Marissa Baker, The INFJ Handbook: A guide to and for the rarest Myers-Briggs personality type

“INFJs are often accused of pushing people away, even though we long for deep relationships with others.”
― Marissa Baker, The INFJ Handbook: A guide to and for the rarest Myers-Briggs personality type

“You have a well developed “rich inner world” and/or the feeling that you belong in a fantasy world rather than the real one. Conflict is tremendously uncomfortable, and you'll do almost anything to avoid tense moments. You can't act on something until it makes sense emotionally and morally, even if it already makes sense logically. It seems easy to pick up on other people’s emotions and mirror them while you are talking. Other people want to confide in you, even random strangers. You’re a spiritual/religious person who frequently ponders deep and/or abstract ideas. You are fascinated by personality types and enjoy figuring out what other people's types are. There is a struggle between needing to be around people so you can connect with them and share your thoughts, and an introvert’s desire for alone time. You have a vision for and desire to make the world a better place. Phrases that other people use to describe you include “old soul,” “impractical,” “daydreamer,” “too sensitive,” “good listener,” “weird,” and “deep.”
― Marissa Baker, The INFJ Handbook: A guide to and for the rarest Myers-Briggs personality type

“If we hesitate to answer when you ask us a question, we are NOT thinking of an excuse or making up lies; we are simply trying to find the words to describe what we are feeling. We don't think in logic, we think in feelings and symbols – those are sometimes difficult to find words for.”
― Marissa Baker, The INFJ Handbook: A guide to and for the rarest Myers-Briggs personality type

“We just have to find a balance between always being unsatisfied with relationships because they are not perfect, and settling for a relationship that isn't healthy for us because we think we'll never find someone who really “gets” us.”
― Marissa Baker, The INFJ Handbook: A guide to and for the rarest Myers-Briggs personality type

“Rather, we don't really see the value of money unless we're starkly reminded that we need it when there isn't any to be had.”
― Marissa Baker, The INFJ Handbook: A guide to and for the rarest Myers-Briggs personality type

“because of how much external emotions affect us. We place a very high value on peace, and will do almost anything to avoid conflict. At heart, INFJs are peacemakers who want to understand opposing viewpoints so that we can create harmony. We're good at putting ourselves in other people's shoes,”
― Marissa Baker, The INFJ Handbook: A guide to and for the rarest Myers-Briggs personality type

“This deep appreciation for what other people feel leads to INFJs being very conscious of what is or is not acceptable socially. INFJs are always trying to please others and act in a way that is acceptable in others' eyes. This is in conflict with our very distinctive expression of Ni and we often end up in a struggle to be individualistic and fit in at the same time.”
― Marissa Baker, The INFJ Handbook: A guide to and for the rarest Myers-Briggs personality type

“Often we'll stop paying attention to the world outside our minds and walk around in a Walter Mitty-like state that causes people who have no idea what's going on to label us as “crazy.” It often takes a conscious effort to pull ourselves out of our own heads enough to interact with people in a normal fashion, especially if we're dealing with small-talk rather than a conversation with depth. So”
― Marissa Baker, The INFJ Handbook: A guide to and for the rarest Myers-Briggs personality type

“We prefer possibility to actuality, future to the present, intuition to fact, improvement over the status quo.”
― Marissa Baker, The INFJ Handbook: A guide to and for the rarest Myers-Briggs personality type

“Quenk is a licensed psychologist and Ph.D who wrote Was That Really Me? How Everyday Stress Brings Out Our Hidden Personalities.”
― Marissa Baker, The INFJ Handbook: A guide to and for the rarest Myers-Briggs personality type

“(NF types), like the INFJ, are described as looking for and being Soulmates.”
― Marissa Baker, The INFJ Handbook: A guide to and for the rarest Myers-Briggs personality type

“INFJs weakness: have no sense of direction, often so clumsy, worst at expressing their emotions, too afraid to hurt someone, stubborn, have too high / low goal.”
― Marissa Baker, The INFJ Handbook: A guide to and for the rarest Myers-Briggs personality type

“alcohol somehow helps me verbalize my emotions. It takes away that wall that I put up, so I am very honest, and it gets my talkative juices flowing so I can speak freer and easier. It calms the storm in my head.”
― Marissa Baker, The INFJ Handbook: A guide to and for the rarest Myers-Briggs personality type

“In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him. I think it’s impossible to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves. And then, in that very moment when I love them … I destroy them.” – Ender in Orson Scott Card's Ender's Game Most”
― Marissa Baker, The INFJ Handbook: A guide to and for the rarest Myers-Briggs personality type

“our personality type is the “canvas” and our individual choices and experiences are the “paint” we each use in creating our unique lives.”
― Marissa Baker, The INFJ Handbook: A guide to and for the rarest Myers-Briggs personality type

“wish people were more open to conversations other than those about day-to-day lives. I look for people to talk to about deeper things, to analyze and reflect with. I want to explore symbols and meanings beneath the surface,”
― Marissa Baker, The INFJ Handbook: A guide to and for the rarest Myers-Briggs personality type

“It takes a long time for INFJs to calm-down after a confrontation, especially if there were raised voices or heated emotions involved. Conflict is overwhelming, so we need to give ourselves time and space to process a confrontation.”
― Marissa Baker, The INFJ Handbook: A guide to and for the rarest Myers-Briggs personality type

“and I avoid taking a credit card to places like Renaissance Faires so I can't make impulse purchases. Communication”
― Marissa Baker, The INFJ Handbook: A guide to and for the rarest Myers-Briggs personality type

“So I wasn't the only person with vivid dreams that seemed to blur lines between real and imaginary, or the only person who felt everything deeply and yet couldn't seem to connect with someone in a conversation. My helplessness with numbers and difficulty working with concrete facts might be inconvenient, but wasn't abnormal any more. I didn't have to try and ignore my intuition and come up with a logical reason for everything – I could accept the fact that Intuition is how my mind naturally works.”
― Marissa Baker, The INFJ Handbook: A guide to and for the rarest Myers-Briggs personality type