Reality Chick Quotes

“Everyone's fake in certain situations. It's like when you go for a job interview and they ask you, "What would you do if you found one of your friends at work stealing?" and, let's face it, no one's going to tell on their friend. But of course you have to say, "I would tell IMMEDIATELY, because I don't think I could work in that kind of environment, it's not good for my morale." No one wants to look like an idiot.”
― Lauren Barnholdt, Reality Chick

“POSSIBLE OPENERS AFTER YOU'VE GOTTEN DRUNK AND SLEPT IN YOUR GUY ROOMMATE'S BED (A LIST):
1. Hey, Drew, thanks for letting me sleep in your bed. I hope I didn't puke all over your sheets.
2. What do you mean? I slept in your bed? Really? I don't remember any of it, I was so wasted.
3. Thanks for not trying to molest me.”
― Lauren Barnholdt, Reality Chick

“Jesus, Ally, you're living with a stripper?"
"She decided not to do it. She got a job at Hooters instead."
"Oh, well, in that case, I feel much better," he says sarcastically.”
― Lauren Barnholdt, Reality Chick

“Jesus. Who does he think he is? He's always out partying and drinking with his friends. I do it once and all of a sudden I'm a candidate for AA.”
― Lauren Barnholdt, Reality Chick

“Silence. At this point, I expected Corey to say something like, "Jen? I don't know. Jen who?" or "Jen? I have a cousin named Jen, I think, who goes to Georgia Tech," or "Jen? Like Jen Aniston?" or something that basically shows he has no clue what I'm talking about. But silence is not good. Silence is almost as good as saying, "Oh, Jen. She's just one of those tanned strumpets you've been imagining that I'm out clubbing with every night. Only she's not imaginary after all. The only part you got wrong was her name.”
― Lauren Barnholdt, Reality Chick

“You are definitely not a slut," Jasmine says, putting her arms around her. "Having sex with a guy you like does not make you a slut. Now if you start having sex with every guy you like, then we'll reclassify you according to level of skankiness.”
― Lauren Barnholdt, Reality Chick

“When I got to the house about an hour ago, James took one look at me and said, "Damn, girl, your parents put out some good product." I think it was a compliment, but I'm not quite sure.”
― Lauren Barnholdt, Reality Chick