Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles Quotes

“What? I don't hate Christians," Voldemort lied dishonestly. 'What are you even talking about?'
'You're still pretending to be dumb,' the Reverend pointed out truthfully. 'We know all about your plot to illegalize Christianity, Voldemort.'
Voldemort blinked stupidly again and questioned evilly, 'Wait. Is this about my Reddit account?'
'Is that what you call your godless coven?”
― Grace Ann Parsons, Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles

“That's right," Dean Thomas said wisely, and not a single word was mispronounced. ”
― Grace Ann Parsons, Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles

“Of course I only pray to God! Who else would I pray to?"
"What about Mary?" Ronald posited angrily around a mouthful of oatmeal. "You have to at least worship to her!"
"You mean the mommy of Our Lord?" Harry demanded in scandal; and he chewed his bacon. "I don't worship her?”
― Grace Ann Parsons, Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles

“....and he began to eat his oatmeal with his hands.”
― Grace Ann Parsons, Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles

“But do they really love the Lord?" Harry posited timidly. "If they do; then why do they worship statues?"
"Dark days are coming," Dumbledore replied earnestly. "We need to be inclusive. If there were only Gryffindor Hats at Hogwarts; then there would not be many people left."

"I see," Harry conceded uncertainly as he walked back to Ronald's overcrowded table. He was getting nervous about this Hat business; but he supposed he did have to trust Dumbledore. After all, grownups know best, right?”
― Grace Ann Parsons, Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles

“Why don't you come with us, then!" Dumbledore cried kindly; and then got down on his knees. Everyone else did the same. Raising his large, massive, manly hands up to the heavens, Dumbledore bellowed in a voice even louder than Hagrid's had been, "Lord, please take us to the kitchen!”
― Grace Ann Parsons, Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles

“No, no, Harry," Aunt Petunia screeched desperately. "I have an idea. You can have a second birthday today. You like birthdays, right?"
"Birthdays are not of God," Harry verbalized knowingly; and looked at his aunt with an innocent wisdom. "You tried to corrupt me; but it did not work. But I forgive you, Aunt Petunia; because of Luke 23:34.”
― Grace Ann Parsons, Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles

“Aunt Petunia could only stare at him; her big mouth hung open dumbly. Here she thought she was so educated; and always demanded that Christians prove what they believed in; but she couldn't even prove her own religion.”
― Grace Ann Parsons, Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles