Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody Quotes

“As we waited to enter, all the talk seemed to be about was how much they didn't want to be in a house called Slipperen.”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“One of the teachers announced, "First years, wait here. In a moment, we'll enter the Great Hall where you'll be sorted into houses." As we waited to enter, all the talk seemed to be about was how much they didn't want to be in a house called Slipperen.”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“Nobody acted as if this was an unusual occurrence, and when I finished changing I lay in bed thinking about my first day at magic school. I'd seen teachers turn into animals, passed through ghosts, and almost been killed by flying magic rodents. I lay there thinking about how the animated paintings weren't TVs mounted behind fancy frames. The moving stairs weren't powered by pistons. The teachers weren't wearing costumes or performing tricks. The magic was real, all real. Only now did I begin to accept, to really believe it. My head swam. I didn’t think I'd be able to sleep, but soon I was out.”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“Plotter got fan mail, but I was kinda relieved. I mean relieved that Professor Luckhart was busy because I wasn't sure there was much he could teach me beyond stand-up comedy. Still, I felt a pang of resentment. My education being put off in favor of Harry Plotter's fan mail. That night, as I took off my robes, a loud thud came from outside our room, like someone knocking over furniture. Then a gray glowing head poked through our door. "Anyone awake?" the specter screamed before entering our room and jumping on the bed next to me. He knocked over a stack of books and ripped off some bed curtains before disappearing through the far wall. Moments later, another ghost—this one”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“Chapter 3 – Professor Smape”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“just don’t really understand half of what girls do, so it seemed a logical choice.”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“High”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“castle”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“leak.”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“Order of Merlin, First Class" and the name of the school again, "Hogworts School of Magic and Mystery." What sort of messed-up name was that? And what type of magic were they teaching?”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“High above, on the side of a cliff, stood the largest castle I'd ever seen—ever imagined. The windows glowed with candlelight, as the last desperate rays of light silhouetted the castle against a gray sky. I knew Britain was famous for old crumbly buildings, but this place was ridiculous.”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“Gryffinbore, Slipperen,”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“Nirvana?”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“Austin”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“Gryffinbore”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“Slipperen.”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“huge”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“Smape huffed. "Dumblesnore.”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“They were talking about Quitlage. One of the kids tried to explain it to me. Apparently, it was played with a bunch of balls while flying on brooms and trying to maim the other players. Besides that, it didn't make much sense.”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“as the plane flew past her head.”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“Smape put his hand on a well-worn stone in an otherwise plain wall. "The password is ‘Plotter stinks.’ Don't forget it." When he said, "Plotter stinks,”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“slept”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“Chapter 3 – Professor Smape I woke up to a sea of faces standing over me. "I think he's coming around," said the particularly old, grizzled teacher who had put the hat on me and who I thought would look like a witch, even without the oversized hat. A”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“tapestries”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“my parents off.”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“unconsciousness,”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“But I kept walking in circles.”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“I'll be able to help you over Christmas break.”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“few more Slipperen friends too, though the more time I spent with them, the more I felt maybe the Sorting Hat had put me in the wrong house.”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“with or using old secondhand books the teachers had. The one from Potions had been the worst, with pages falling out, and someone had scribbled and crossed things out on almost every page. I hoped now I might actually start to learn some magic. During dinner, I kept looking over at Hermione. I caught her eye a few times, but she'd look away. When I got up to leave, she got up too. I had a feeling she was following me. I tried to walk quickly. "Austin," she yelled. "Wait up." I kept walking. "Austin." I walked faster. I didn't hear the exact spell she used, but a second later, something smacked into my back, and I started walking super slow, like in those nightmares where you can't run. "What the—" I said as she caught up with me. "Sorry." She glanced down at my legs. "I could tell you weren't going to stop." "So you... you what? Hexed me?" "Hardly." She tossed a mop of hair out of her face. "It's a children's spell, used for playing tag—magic tag, that is. It should wear off anytime." Sure enough, though my legs felt like lead, I was able to walk at a normal pace. "Whatever." "Where are you heading?" "Professor Flichwick’s for extra work." "Good. I’m heading to the second floor too." "Great." I tried to sound irritated. Really, I was glad”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody