Not All Tarts Are Apple Quotes

“Funny the distinctions that grown-ups make about lying. If a kid does it, then it's automatically bad, bad, bad. If a grown-up they don't like does it and gets found out, the same rules apply, onlymore so. If they do it themselves, however, it is perfectly understandable and is one of those famous "white lies" you hear so much about.”
― Pip Granger, Not All Tarts Are Apple

“Mum always said that you couldn't beat a good woman friend and that everyone should have atleast one. Do you remember that she always said there was two kinds of women? Men's women and women's women? And if you knew what was good for you, you'd be a woman's woman and you'd never be lonely. Said it was like belonging to a bloody great club. She wasn't wrong, neither.”
― Pip Granger, Not All Tarts Are Apple

“That man could hide behind a corkscrew he's so twisted.”
― Pip Granger, Not All Tarts Are Apple

“Her voice was loud, penetrating and very, very posh. You know the expression "speaks with a plum in her mouth"? Well, this one spoke with the whole tree.”
― Pip Granger, Not All Tarts Are Apple

“Some might think that ten in the morning was a little early to indulge in strong liquor, but Sharky wasn't one of them. He liked a drink, did Sharky, preferably one that lasted from sparrow fart to sack time.”
― Pip Granger, Not All Tarts Are Apple

“Aunt Maggie turned a gaze on her that would have shrivelled the English Channel to a puddle. She didn't actually say, "Shut yer gob." She didn't have to. Miss Giles shut her gob.”
― Pip Granger, Not All Tarts Are Apple

“She had dead straight, greying hair the she yanked sideways and anchored with enough ironmongery to sink a small ship.”
― Pip Granger, Not All Tarts Are Apple