The Heavenly Host Quotes

“Wait! Wait!” The beggar called out from behind her. “I can see! I’m healthy!” Hilda smiled to herself, pleased. “You just took away my livelihood! Do you have any idea how hard it is out here for a healthy beggar?” The man sounded almost angry.”
― J.L. Langland, The Heavenly Host

“Evacuation? Why?” Sier shouted over the klaxon “Gandros ordered it after Ruiden cleaved Exador in twain!” Zilquar shouted back. “Well, that seems a bit rude,” Sier said with a shocked expression on his face. “Exador thought so too, and now the two are dueling it out in the Grand Foyer,” Hortwell yelled.”
― J.L. Langland, The Heavenly Host

“Did these fools even listen to themselves talk, or did they, like the majority of their audience, simply tune the sound of their own voices out?”
― J.L. Langland, The Heavenly Host

“…and know, my fellow colleagues, friends, associates, subordinates, assistants, admirers, articulate adversaries and all those others so assembled here in this gloriously, yet in no way garishly decorated reception hall at this hallowed, historic and honorable happening, that we seek not only to enable and enervate this experimental endeavor that seeks to engender an edifying and equitably egalitarian enterprise to extend the existence of law into the ersatz empire of evil; an expedition that emboldens so many earnest, and certainly not erstwhile exhibitions of emotions of trust and facilitation and goodwill between our organizations…” continued this most recent chancellor or councilor, or something with a title.”
― J.L. Langland, The Heavenly Host

“may simply be his insanity, but when I freed the Rod of Tommus from the stones, Tizzy was looking happier, more ecstatic than I’ve ever seen him. He was literally dancing, or at least I think that was what he was doing. It could have been a seizure.”
― J.L. Langland, The Heavenly Host

“Jenn whispered into Gastropé’s ear, “Is it just me, or is he slimy?” Gastropé shook his head and whispered back, “No, he’s very slimy. I think he is actually a toad that Exador turned into an Archimage.”
― J.L. Langland, The Heavenly Host

“Lassalle’s”
― J.L. Langland, The Heavenly Host

“Men are always the last to realize when a woman is flirting with them,” Jehenna”
― J.L. Langland, The Heavenly Host

“is often better to remain silent and to be thought incompetent rather than reveal yourself through action to be incompetent?”
― J.L. Langland, The Heavenly Host

“Unholy bat dung!”
― J.L. Langland, The Heavenly Host

“I am not one of the vast unwashed masses. I’m a goddess, for my sake!” Sekhmekt complained.”
― J.L. Langland, The Heavenly Host

“Sekhmekt nodded thoughtfully. “Vengeance is usually the best way to get a good forging. I mean, it’s no real substitute for a good, final forge quenching in the blood of newborns, but it’s a good third or fourth.”
― J.L. Langland, The Heavenly Host

“real estate is all about ‘location, location, location,’ then she probably got her Abyssal Palace really cheap!” Phaestus giggled. “ ‘Course, her other place has a view that is literally out of this world! Well, not this world, except that it is out of this world, but I mean that the view she has there is out of the world she has it on. Do you know what I mean?” “Not at all.” Reggie shook his head and smiled. “Neither do I.”
― J.L. Langland, The Heavenly Host

“What is that noise?” Trisfelt yelled at the page. “It’s the palace evacuation klaxon!” the page replied, running up to Trisfelt. “Evacuation?” Trisfelt asked. The page nodded. “Lord Gandros has sounded the alarm to evacuate; apparently there is a major arcane battle going on in the grand foyer that is liable to cause death and generalized mayhem!” “Worse than when the demons all exploded from the basement?” Trisfelt asked. The page shrugged. “Apparently.”
― J.L. Langland, The Heavenly Host

“Ah, my good barman, might we purchase one of your fine libations? An ale perhaps?” Gaius asked. The barman nodded in greeting at the two. “Certainly; two ales it is then?” Gaius nodded. Smiling, the barman reached down below the bar and pulled up two sets of documents bound by a small string loop in the upper left corner. The documents appeared to be some form of contract. “I just need you to sign the waiver of liability, the acknowledgement of the health dangers of alcohol, tobacco and other substances within our foods, along with the absolution of responsibility for any actions taken by you after partaking in food and beverage within these premises.” He waved his hand dismissively. “Just the standard stuff you have to sign everywhere these days. Nothing unusual, all on the same old eight pages.” He shrugged. “Oh, and of course, an ID to verify the name and signature.”
― J.L. Langland, The Heavenly Host

“But let me advise you from experience: do not be too hasty on the sequence of events. One lawyer’s skull between your claws is worth two diplomats in a carriage any day!”
― J.L. Langland, The Heavenly Host

“Remember the first rule of conquest: kill the diplomats first and the lawyers second, before you do anything else!”
― J.L. Langland, The Heavenly Host

“You would need a drink if you’d been stuck in a cave with Tizzy going on and on the whole time. If not talking to us or irritating Talarius, he would just start up conversations with himself,” Edwyrd said, smiling. “You mean like the heated debate he had with himself over ruined buildings in the Courts of Chaos? And why someone might choose to live in a ruin?” Antefalken asked, laughing.”
― J.L. Langland, The Heavenly Host

“So you are to be a goddess pretending to be an archdemon pretending to be a human?”
― J.L. Langland, The Heavenly Host

“The great demon lord Tommus sat broodingly upon his magnificent double-backed throne, contemplating his newfound dominion and its many inhabitants, while idly rotating the Rod of Tommus in its holder on the right arm of the throne. Steam and smoke mixed in the air above the suspended platform of the Great Hall at the base of the active volcano that was his fortress. Yes, Tom decided, “broodingly” worked particularly well. It seemed to him that if a demon lord was going to sit upon his throne in a large empty room, he should do so broodingly. Clearly that was all a dark lord could do—brood—and were not all demon lords dark lords by definition?”
― J.L. Langland, The Heavenly Host

“Lilith chuckled, fondly remembering the bitter and heated arguments when the other princes had first confronted Orcus. Those had been the days! She had to admit, completely obliterating one’s enemy was not as satisfying as one might think. It rather left a void in one’s daily life. Her current enemies were so much less interesting.”
― J.L. Langland, The Heavenly Host

“I am surrounded by crazy people!”
― J.L. Langland, The Heavenly Host

“Have you ever thought of going into politics, Talarius?” Tom asked wearily. The knight seemed puzzled. “No, why?” “Because you would make an excellent politician. You can twist any absurd set of facts around until they fit your idea of how the universe should be, without so much as batting an eyelash,” Tom said.”
― J.L. Langland, The Heavenly Host

“think the sword couldn’t at least slow an avatar down to get away?” Barabus stood up to go to his cot. “Then we shall just have to try and reason with it, I suppose.” “Yes, because words so often win out over swords,” Iskerus said sarcastically.”
― J.L. Langland, The Heavenly Host

“Men. You are all the same. You confuse a man’s entitlement with a woman’s gifts. Two things that only occasionally coincide.”
― J.L. Langland, The Heavenly Host

“What morons. All of them, running around pretending to be evil. The evil of the demons was nothing compared to the evil of the Etonians. Now there was true evil with a capital “E.”
― J.L. Langland, The Heavenly Host

“The gods are not hands-off in Astlan. In fact, they tend to be very hands-on. They are egotistical, power hungry, vain people who bicker and fight among each other and who stir up considerable trouble in the worlds of men.”
― J.L. Langland, The Heavenly Host

“Thus, if you took your imaginary being, of which nothing greater could be conceived, and it actually were physically real, that real being would be greater than the imaginary being that wasn’t real. Thus, in order to complete your imaginary construct, your imaginary being must be real. Because true reality is greater than a mental construct. Thus, you must believe that your mental construct is real in order for it to be the greatest thing you can conceive of. Thus, if you can believe in such a being, then you must believe it exists in order to be logically consistent with yourself.”
― J.L. Langland, The Heavenly Host

“But evil isn’t a thing. It is a point of view, a perspective. It’s how one behaves and interacts with others that determines good versus evil,”
― J.L. Langland, The Heavenly Host

“Sometimes, deities will use their followers (or annoyingly, innocent bystanders) as instruments of change or action. These individuals are often no more than pawns, but can go on to become very powerful and influential individuals if their deity wills and things work. Otherwise they usually end up as a Blessed Martyr to the Cause (read: dead).”
― J.L. Langland, The Heavenly Host