Get Well Soon Quotes

“When I die, I want them to bury me facedown and ass up so that the whole world can kiss my ass!”
― Julie Halpern, Get Well Soon

“What if I have bad breath?' I asked.
'Chew on some gum,' she said.
'What if I can't find his tongue?'
'Back off on your tongue until you can feel his.'
'What if he throws up in my mouth?'
'Um, that would just be gross.”
― Julie Halpern, Get Well Soon

“I'm probably the only person on earth who had to be committed to a mental hospital to find a date.”
― Julie Halpern, Get Well Soon

“I hardly think it wise to put the idea of flying into the heads of impressionable teenagers who are already battling the challenges of lunacy.”
― Julie Halpern, Get Well Soon

“Raisins again. I like raisins, but I have a habit of losing one or two on the floor every time I eat them. I always find them later and think they are: a) a mouse turd or b) a cockroach. Then I figure out it's a raisin and sigh with relief. This pretty much happens every time I find a lost raisin.”
― Julie Halpern, Get Well Soon

“Get Well Soon. People sent me get well soon cards while I was in a mental hospital. There were fluffy little bunnies, floaty rainbows, and even a religious card. I could understand that Hallmark probably doesn’t make “Get Sane Soon” cards, but still. Was I not well before? Am I well now? Who decides?”
― Julie Halpern, Get Well Soon

“So love is possible at the Loony Bin. Or, at least, lust.”
― Julie Halpern, Get Well Soon

“It's amazing how something can be blue and yet absolutely colorless.”
― Julie Halpern, Get Well Soon