May Contain Buts Quotes

“being summoned into The Front Room Of Doom wasn’t ominous enough in itself. What was about to happen? wondered Norm. Because something was definitely about to happen. He hadn’t just been called in to talk about the weather, or the price of flipping loft insulation. And apart from anything else, how come his dad had asked if it was him as he came in the front door? Everyone else was already there! Who did his dad think it was? The flipping Gruffalo? “Sit”
― Jonathan Meres, May Contain Buts

“see,” said Mikey. “So that’s what this is about, is it? My mum and dad?” “Maybe,” said Norm again. “Is that all you’re going to say? Maybe?” Norm looked at Mikey. “Maybe.” There was an awkward pause. A plane flew overhead while, in the distance, a clock struck ten. Not that Norm noticed. For all Norm knew, a clock could have flown overhead and a plane struck ten. “Do you know something?” said Mikey after a while. “What?” said Norm expectantly. “Uh?” said Mikey. “No, Norm. I mean, do you know”
― Jonathan Meres, May Contain Buts

“Norm hadn’t had to swerve and skid to avoid hitting it he might not have noticed that sitting in the driver’s seat was none other than Mikey’s mum. And that sitting next to Mikey’s mum in the passenger seat was none other than some completely random bloke who Norm had never clapped eyes on before in his life. Of course it was all ifs and buts. Because Norm wasn’t completely focused on riding his bike. He did have to swerve and skid to avoid hitting the car. And he did notice that Mikey’s mum was sitting in the driver’s seat. Except luckily, the car was actually parked at the side of the road at the time. So it could have been a lot worse, thought Norm, as he regained his composure and carried on down the road towards Mikey’s house as if nothing had happened.”
― Jonathan Meres, May Contain Buts

“He’d made his mind up the night before, when Mikey had messaged him on Facebook to say that he’d managed to fix his brakes. They were officially ‘good to go’. And go was precisely what Norm intended to do. He didn’t care where. As long as they went somewhere. And the fact that it was a lovely day was the icing on the cake. Or, as Norm preferred to think of it, the extra cheese topping on a twelve inch deep crust margherita pizza from Wikipizza.     For once, all was well in Norm’s world as he pedalled down the street. Relatively well, anyway. About as well as could be expected. Not that Norm’s expectations were ever all that great. But at least he’d been allowed out. Officially allowed out, that was. He hadn’t had to sneak out without his dad knowing. The so-called ban had been lifted, once his mum had explained to his dad why Norm had gone over to see Mikey in the first place.”
― Jonathan Meres, May Contain Buts

“Norm protesting his innocence and grassing Dave up himself. Who was his dad going to believe? Him or his stupid little brother? No, his dad had obviously made his mind up and nothing was going to change it. Norm was guilty. Same as flipping always.”
― Jonathan Meres, May Contain Buts

“It’s absolutely revolting. But at the same time strangely familiar.” Norm and Dave exchanged a quick glance. Not only that, but Norm’s mum saw Norm and Dave exchange a quick glance. Not that Norm noticed his mum noticing him and Dave exchange a quick glance. He was too busy wondering whether Dave would take this opportunity to confess his role in The Great Aftershave Mystery – as it would no doubt be called if this was some stupid book – and at the same time help to clear Norm’s name. “I’d”
― Jonathan Meres, May Contain Buts

“They’re just kissing, Dave!” said Brian appearing beside him. “It’s perfectly natural.” Yeah, thought Norm. So was going to the toilet. Didn’t mean you had to do it in flipping public, though, did it? “Hello, boys,” said Norm’s mum finally”
― Jonathan Meres, May Contain Buts

“Stupid?” said his dad. Norm was beginning to wonder whether he should butt in. Because this conversation was clearly going nowhere fast. Was this really what happened when you got old? You ended up arguing about flipping aftershave? And cheese? It was like some nightmarish vision of the future. “Beast Pour Homme?” said Norm’s dad. Norm’s”
― Jonathan Meres, May Contain Buts

“mean it could be,” said Grandpa. “Really?” said Norm. “Might just be the thin end of the wedge, Norman.” And what was that supposed to mean? thought Norm. Thin end of what flipping wedge? A wedge of cheese? What was it with flipping cheese today? Everyone”
― Jonathan Meres, May Contain Buts