Blood Soaked and Gone Quotes

“Wedge, lovely interpersonal wedge! How we hammer you in place with every word unspoken, each gesture misread! How our breathing sounds like suffering sighs! We use you like we hate you, frequently, and you fuck us up in return.”
― James Crawford, Blood Soaked and Gone

“Should have said, ‘shape of: a slab of memory foam,’” I grumbled as I hauled my flattened face up the wall.”
― James Crawford, Blood Soaked and Gone

“Shape of: something aerodynamic. Form of: a giant flying squirrel,” I muttered to myself and launched into the open air.”
― James Crawford, Blood Soaked and Gone

“Ah. Ah. Ah.” Eloquence fled, in ninja booties, as fast as it could run. “You should know, though, I’m gay.” Eloquence looked back over his shoulder, gave me the finger, and kept running.”
― James Crawford, Blood Soaked and Gone

“Something bit my crotch. Quixote and the Panza brothers kicked up a fuss. That was my impetus to fight back. No one chews on my genitals without a nice steak dinner, forms filled out in triplicate, ,and my permission.”
― James Crawford, Blood Soaked and Gone

“I’m not like other superhuman beings: death hurts me.”
― James Crawford, Blood Soaked and Gone

“Fucking Ninja coffee,” I muttered to myself. “Next time, it’ll hide in my bathtub and stab me in the nut.”
― James Crawford, Blood Soaked and Gone

“In fact, some people have asked me if I’m a rubber fetishist. I’m not. I wouldn’t know what a rubber fetish was if it sauntered over and stuck its tongue in my ear.”
― James Crawford, Blood Soaked and Gone